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It's funny. Laugh. Businesses Apple

Apple Deals with Devil, Communists 965

Posted by pudge from the hail-satan dept.
rschroeder writes "I keep thinking that this article can't be real, but it looks like it. Among the juicier bits: 'The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (Mac OS X) is called... Darwin! That's right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an 'Open Source' license, which is just another name for Communism.'" Yes, of course. And I am still waiting for Jesux to be released.
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Apple Deals with Devil, Communists More

Apple Deals with Devil, Communists

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  • Yes, it's a hoax, but it's funny (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    That's really it. It's a hoax, and a decent joke at that but it doesn't take much to see that.
    • I actually don't think it is. This guy _really_ belives he's right. Look at the domain: www.truepath.com - it's an _actual_ Xristian website. They even use deceptive pop-unders so they can make a buck and push thier cultism. These people are really starting to scare me. Believe what you will, but don't try to convince me that pokemon was created for anything other than the corporate buck. I like the Jesux article better. The apple article really scares me though.

      • Re:Yes, it's a hoax, but it's funny (Score:5, Informative)

        by DennyK ( 308810 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @12:13AM (#3392477)
        Actually, www.truepath.com is a free Christian web hosting service...so it's quite possible that this particular member is having some fun... ;)

        Of course, the author does have several other articles up there. Like the Apple one, it's hard to tell whether he is being humorous or serious in them. Half his writings sound like tongue-in-cheek exaggerated Christian zealotry, and half sound like somewhat serious arguments (though these are usually backed up only by "Because the Bible tells us so...").

        Whether intentionally or unintentionally, his stuff is still pretty funny. I hope he truly isn't as paranoid about "Evolutionists" as it seems from his writing, though... I have the utmost respect for any and all belief systems, but it's pretty sad to go through life thinking that everyone who believes differently than you do is out to get you and corrupt your soul... :-/

        DennyK
        • Thanks for your post. I have to point something out, though, that is forever being ignored in these discussion, which is that science, and evolutionary science in particular, is not a belief system. I don't "believe in" evolution, or gravity, or optics. I accept the scientific evidence.

          There is a serious attempt in the country to make a false equivalence of religion and science, and we must guard against it.
      • "Dr. Richard Paley comes to our movement through his involvement in fighting other forms of anti-Christian hatecrimes. He has lead successful boycotts against Sears and Piggly-Wiggly and has spearheaded the movement to stop Evolutionism from being forced on the children of Marian County. His experience in dealing with secularism's desperate grasp on power has proved invaluable as we move into the next phase of our campaign. Dr. Paley teaches Divinity and Theobiology at Fellowship University."

        Author's biography, from the site
    • Yes, the fine community at Macslash.com debunked this hoax earlier today - This was one of the greatest attempts at trolldom I have ever witnessed toward the Mac community (we're such an easy target too).
  • Yup, it's some k-wality karma whoring here!

    Welcome to the Jesux home page
    The distribution that will not lead you into temptation
    What is Jesux?
    Jesux (pronounced Hay-sooks) is a new Linux distribution for Christian hackers, schools, families, and churches. There is already a core distribution being prepared, based on RedHat's distribution.

    Jesux will aim to be an environment that is pleasant for Christians to work in, with all the amenities a Christian might expect, and when possible, free from worldly influences.

    What is different about Jesux?
    Below is a short list. As we get more information, we will put it here. Send more suggestions to jesux@pobox.com. Send your suggestions for content in the bookmark, fortune, and .newsrc files, too, and we will start posting some of this stuff.

    default fortune file contains quotes from the scriptures, Augustine, C.S. Lewis, Chuck Swindoll, etc.
    Christian Enlightenment themes featuring Jesus, the cross, and other Christian icons
    Login screen has full text to Lord's Prayer and Pledge of Allegiance, with Christian and American symbols
    Provide alternate screens for non-Americans, perhaps
    Pregenerated Netscape bookmarks and .newsrc files pointing to prescreened Christian web sites and newsgroups
    cal(1) includes Christian holidays
    Special hack of emacs "M-x doctor" mode, "M-x pastor"
    Optional technical support and basic counseling services provided by Christian hackers
    The current plan is to double up the tech support line as a crisis line, where people in need can be redirected to people who can really help them
    Online Bible in King James Version
    no other versions will be provided by default; we feel the KJV is the only English version that can be fully trusted
    Addition of /usr/dict/kjv.words (exhaustive)
    Removal of some of the RedHat games
    we don't play them much, but several of you have noted that some of them are clearly inappropriate
    Squid proxy server (plus squidGuard) bundled and configured for blocking illicit web sites (including a regularly updated list of illicit sites and URL patterns to install on your own; we will be looking for mature and diligent volunteers to help maintain it)
    Optionally disable logins on Sunday, the day of rest
    bash(1) is default
    the "Bourne-Again" shell is already the default; but we like the shell, and we love the name :)
    chmod(1) accepts hexadecimal modes, such as 0x01B6
    qmail replaces sendmail as the standard MTA (sendmail was written by a prominent homosexual)
    we are considering postfix too, due to popular request
    Hierarchical user structure, so parents and teachers can easily access children's files without needing to become root
    No encryption provided; Christians have nothing to hide
    We have had concerns about the "no encryption" item ... but no worries, crypt(3) will still be there. Sorry for the confusion, we do not generally consider it as encryption, though, of course, technically it is. But since it is generally unsuitable for anything other than password authentication, we don't see any problem with it.
    No cracking utilities provided; SAINT can be acquired from us later, after the user has proven his worth
    All new code will be provided under the Christian Software Public License, an Open Source-compatible license. Go ahead and check it out. The final CSPL is very similar to the BSD license, where the required advertising is the text of John 3:16 from the King James Version of the Bible. (Note: the requested requirement that only Christians could redistribute the code was considered and rejected, in accordance with the "No Discrimination Against Persons or Groups" section of the Open Source Definition. We actually agree with this section of the OSD ... the more people that use our software, the more that see the Gospel; the more that distribute it, the more that advertise His word in His name!)

    Also, we are seriously considering changing some fundamental OS features. The idea would be that function calls and features suggesting evil and otherwise pagan ideas would be changed.

    abort(3)
    kill(1)
    references to "daemon"
    NOTE: we do not believe words are inherently bad. We simply do not like these words because of their connotations in different contexts. You do not have to agree, but you will not change our minds. However, because this is not a point of religious contention but of linguistics and meanings and associations, and because the solution seems like the easiest one to implement, the current plan is to provide symlinks, headers, macros, etc. so that the existing names will still exist, but those who want to use alternate symbols (words) can do so.

  • chmod 666 - the devil's command (Score:5, Funny)

    by LordSah ( 185088 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:09PM (#3391559)
    The bit at the bottom about the satanic command 'chmod 666' is particularly amusing.

    It makes you wonder if this guy did any reading about anything tech related at all, or if he just got all his info from his wacko friends.
    • > Lets look for a moment at Apple Computers.
      > Founded by long haired hippies, this company has
      > consistently supported 60's counter-cultural
      > "values".

      Dear God, that sounds like Gerald Holmes [freeyellow.com]! Maybe he finally did an update to his site!

      > shocked Christians who have unwittingly become Mac owners

      Sounds like Apple finally has a worthy successor to their "Think Different" campaign.

    • Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command (Score:5, Funny)

      by lightspawn ( 155347 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:49PM (#3391839) Homepage
      I don't get it - I thought the # of the beastie was 666 decimal. Was it octal all along?

    • Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 22, 2002 @10:07PM (#3391957)
      If he undestood the command, he would have found it humane. It prevents executions!

    • Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command (Score:5, Funny)

      by dracken ( 453199 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @12:49AM (#3392600) Homepage
      ADDENDUM V (4/23/2002): It has been brought to our attention that the FreeBSD (pronounced Free Beast) that MacOS X has in its core is a proponent of all things anti christ. Included free with FreeBSD is Kill, Apache, GhostView,(named by pagans) and commands like unzip, touch, finger, man mount, gasp, yes, eject, unmount, zip, sleep. Interestingly "CONTROL-G" (the sixth key from the left of the keyboard) does an abort. To write files a "VI" editor is included. All these are to ensnare the unsuspecting christian who could get tempted by typing "VIVIVI" all day long.

  • From the article... (Score:5, Funny)

    by ocie ( 6659 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:10PM (#3391564) Homepage
    Dr. Richard Paley is a teacher of Divinity and Theobiology at Fellowship University

    Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, Theochemistry, Theophysics and Theoengineering as well.

    • Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, Theochemistry, Theophysics and Theoengineering as well.

      I remeber seeing a "Theological Engineering" paper once. It had such wonderful questions as: If 30ml of red wine is placed in the mouth of a devout catholic, and transubstantiation takes 3s, how many joules of energy are produced?

      Jedidiah

      • From Google (Score:5, Funny)

        by Wyatt Earp ( 1029 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:42PM (#3391797)
        http://www.ironycentral.com/archives/theoexam.html

        "1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an equal amount L. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame, how much does God now love Bob? "

    • Re:Theomathematics (Score:3, Interesting)

      by dissonant7 ( 572834 )
      Actually, "theomathematics" have been around in numerous religions for millenia, though it's usually called arithmosophy.
    • In Theomathematics, pi is defined to be 3.0.
      • It is!

        In Kings 7:23:

        He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it.
        weird!
        the laws of thermodynamics are there too...

        I wonder why darwinism and christianity can't coexist: they both make sense.

        • Because no one has ever demonstrated one instance of macroevolution, yet it's sold as scientific fact to every kid who manages to stay awake in science class. Naturally, by definition faith in creation cannot be proved. However, I feel that the way you talk about reptiles sloooooooowly turning into birds and everyone in the room nods as if he saw it happen himself, disturbs me.

          • Re:From the article... (Score:4, Informative)

            by GMontag451 ( 230904 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @04:13AM (#3393257) Homepage
            Because no one has ever demonstrated one instance of macroevolution,

            Observed Instances Of Speciation [talkorigins.org]
            Five Major Misconceptions about Evolution [talkorigins.org]
            29 Evidences For Macroevolution [talkorigins.org]

            Maybe you should do a little research before you make a greatly incorrect factual statement like that.

            • Re:From the article... (Score:4, Insightful)

              by Gerv ( 15179 ) <gerv@@@gerv...net> on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @06:10AM (#3393497) Homepage
              "Observed Instances of Speciation" indicates examples of microevolution only.

              "Five Major Misconceptions..." just points to "Observed Instances of Speciation".

              "29 Evidences for Macroevolution" says, at the beginning: "Whether microevolutionary theories are sufficient to account for macroevolutionary adaptations is a question that is left open." In other words, they are theorising about macroevolution without a scientific mechanistic basis to support the theories.

              It also cops out by saying "In evolutionary theory it is taken as axiomatic that an original self-replicating life form existed in the distant past, regardless of its origin." But that's the hard bit - if you can't explain the first self-replicating life form, then the argument that life appeared from nothing (as opposed to being created) doesn't hold water.

              Gerv

    • Re:From the article... (Score:5, Funny)

      by czardonic ( 526710 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:59PM (#3391913) Homepage
      Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, . . .as well.

      Don't forget Theohuxtabology.
    • Theoengineering -- "this is the house that (god's) love built!"

      ok bad joke :)

    • Theoscience... (Score:4, Funny)

      by dankjones ( 192476 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @11:05PM (#3392215) Homepage
      It's a good thing we don't rely on religion for science. If we did the entire history of science would have gone like this:

      Why is the sky blue?

      Because God made it that way.

      The end

      • Re:Theoscience... (Score:3, Informative)

        by tshak ( 173364 )
        Although I agree that that we should not rely on religion for science, your joke is a little bit off. Logically, if God made the sky blue, he also made physical and chemical properties of the sky (and water, etc.), which can be studied scientifically. So, really, believing that God created Science does not limit one's study to dumb conclusions like "Because God made it that way".
  • I always thought it was named after Darwin. You know the Dolphin on Seaquest.

    Who knew!

  • For the /.-ed (Score:5, Informative)

    by Lothar+0 ( 444996 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:11PM (#3391574) Homepage
    Here's a Google cache [216.239.37.100] of the article.
    • As soon as "Pudge" (notice the Satanic Camel [pudge.net] with its Marxist slogan!) discovered this web page, he summoned the dread and mysterious "Slashdot Effect" in order to censor Dr. Paley's insights!

      But no matter! Dr. Paley totally debunks the mere concept of evolution with this clever T shirt [cafepress.com]!!! Nor can "Pudge" (re-arrange those letters and what do you get?) prevent Objective Ministries' [truepath.com] campaign against Secularism on the Internet!

      Further proof of the world-wide conspiracy is the recent name change of the evil Marxist Patrice Lumumba University [themoscowtimes.com] to "Friendship University" -- an obvious tactice to upstage our holy work!

  • maybe a hoax, but ... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by rnb ( 471088 )

    Looks like a hoax, but still, not incredibly far off from stuff like Jack Chick and other people who want to do away with Halloween because it's the Devil's night or blah blah blah.

    Just serves to remind you that Christian fundamentalists are just as scary as any other kind.
    • My favorite thing about fundies is how ignorant of their own religion they are. Check out the second commandment and then think about how much of a roar madona's like a prayer video made because the jesus was black. (While jesus was not African he was middle eastern and worked as a carpenter so consequently would have been quite dark, not a pale norwegian like the jesus most people's cross contains.)

  • Surely this is a joke? (Score:2, Informative)

    by Slurpee ( 4012 )
    This is bigger flamebait than most Slashdot Readers make!

  • Apparently this is what happens... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Navius Eurisko ( 322438 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:12PM (#3391586)
    when trolls find Jesus. :)

  • Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:13PM (#3391590)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • To be fair, they're right sortof (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Crag ( 18776 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:13PM (#3391591)
    Open Source and Free Software are heavily based in the ideals of anarchism and communism, and many of us are athiest or agnostic.

    I don't have a problem with this, but _they_ do. This isn't really that funny. It's a clash between the age of pisces and the age of aquarius, much like a similiar clash 2000 years ago, and one 2000 years before that...

    Don't take them too seriously, but don't discard them as complete nuts, either. These people are holding views which were sacred to a much wider community in the past. 2000 years from now (if anyone's still around), this will happen again, and _our_ views will be the silly ones.
    • Open Source and Free Software are heavily based in the ideals of anarchism and communism
      Only one reply to this - bullshit.

      This sort of stuff is peddled by those that say there is only one way to do things and that's my way - all else is evil/communism/insert_name_here.

      The idea of sharing knowledge dates back to the start of recorded history (which is shared knowledge).

      • not bullshit. (Score:3, Informative)

        by afxgrin ( 208686 )
        umm ...

        Isn't the concept of sharing Communism?
        Communism/Socialism, it's the idea of doing things together. It's just a matter of how it's implemented is what has left the bad imagery in our minds.

        If we ever do hit the absolute extreme of capitalism, information such as recorded history, will only be availible to those who can pay for it. But that's speaking of the ridiculous extreme ... wait a second, we are commodifying water now. Keeping that in mind, sharing knowledge in the future might be regarded as some to be 'communist' in nature, and those who do so must be imprisoned.

        Hmmm ... how many people do I need to start listing for those who've been persecuted by a social and economic structure we've approved of for sharing knowledge?

        Wasn't there some kid arrested or charged for releasing some code to decrypt DVDs?
        Was there not a Russian guy arrested in the United States for code he wrote while in Russia? Had something to do with Adobe eBooks if I remember correctly ...
        Was there not a man who released code to encrypt information, and wasn't he threatened with criminal charges?
        Older examples ...
        What about Galileo? Thomas Aquinas?

        There's good reasons why Free Software can be seen as having ideals of anarchism and communism.

        • Re:not bullshit. (Score:3, Interesting)

          by Mandelbrute ( 308591 )
          Isn't the concept of sharing Communism?
          No more than the idea of swapping stuff is capitalism. There is a lot more to both - and without both sharing and swapping we would not be civilised.

          Shared intellectual property between indivuals may offend the sensibilities of some business, but they need it to survive in their current form (otherwise they would be unable to get trained staff). Linux has spread and developed the way USENET was supposed to spread scientific knowledge .

  • A related site (Score:4, Interesting)

    by interiot ( 50685 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:13PM (#3391592) Homepage
    Also at the same site...

    Objective Landover Baptist Shutdown [truepath.com] aims to get religious parody (?) site Landover Baptist [landoverbaptist.org] shut down, removed from the internet, basically because they disagree with their message... very little to no legal ground to stand on. They're just trying to use tactics like contacting the hosting ISP and talking to WIPO to reach their goals. They apparently don't even pretend to grasp the first amendment.

  • Netcraft Says... (Score:5, Funny)

    by bjtuna ( 70129 ) <brian AT intercarve DOT net> on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:13PM (#3391593) Homepage
    The site members.truepath.com is running Apache/1.3.22 (Unix) mod_perl/1.26 PHP/4.0.6 on Linux.

    That is all.

  • Funny (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Calle Ballz ( 238584 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:13PM (#3391596) Homepage
    Visit the Landover Baptist Church [landoverbaptist.org] webpage for more fun, logical christian humor.
  • while he's at it why don't he just label Apple as terrorists? Is this thing for real or is it April fools day again?
  • You know if one is going to spout off this kind of tripe they should at least get the facts straigt. And how in the hell would good christans know about all this devil stuff anyway?

    This reminds me of the article for concerend parents that said linux is a hacking porgram.

  • and got a better server.

  • spoof (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:19PM (#3391632)

    Guys, this is a spoof. There is no "Fellowship University" do a google search on it for cryin' out loud!

    I'm a evangelical pastor. I think Jesus is the only way, I'm also a geek who thinks that the darwin kernel is a wonderful thing. Even spoofs like this make me nervous, because people actually think that evangelicals are taught to think like this (well, they are if they listen to christian radio, I tell my congregation to watch the simpsons instead...).

    It has one valid point though....chmod 666 can be an evil command, depending on the file your sicking it on! :-)

  • Really- people should read the article. It's rolling on the floor funny. It must be a hoax though. No one could be this funny without it being on purpose.

    My favorite quote: (right near the bottom)

    ADDENDUM IV (4/21/2002): Apparently anti-Christian zealots -- as well as shocked Christians who have unwittingly become Mac owners -- are linking to this article, which explains the large number of emails we have received on this topic. More clues have come in showing the dark nature of Apple Computers. According to one of our readers, the new MacOS X contains another Satanic holdover from the "BSD Unix" OS mentioned above; to open up certain locked files one has to run a program much like the DOS prompt in Microsoft Windows and type in a secret code: "chmod 666". What other horrors lurk in this thing?

  • Apple/Devil (Score:5, Informative)

    by NickRob ( 575331 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:20PM (#3391642)
    Actually, Apple did have a well-publicized dealing with the Church of Satan. They had a "Made with Macintosh" logo on their homepage, and they had a b/w pic of their founder with "Think DIfferent" next to him. The kicker? They were (obviously) against those things. They demanded the removal of such things. The CoSatan, being the dissenters they are, naturally didn't remove them.

  • Church of Satan (Score:4, Informative)

    by dissonant7 ( 572834 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:20PM (#3391648)
    Actually, the Church of Satan, so far as I know, actually *does* (or at least used to) run on Apples. They even used to proudly advertise the fact on their web site with a parody of Apple's "Think Different" campaign featuring Anton LaVey (the Church's founder).
  • when the story I submitted was rejected -- 2002-04-22 14:56:33 Unix is truly the dark side (articles,humor) (rejected) -- and posted all in the same day.

    I'm off to chmod 666 some files and increase the minions of the dark side. ;-)

  • 'Clearly' is a keyword to look for in propganda... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Bonker ( 243350 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:22PM (#3391656)
    This OS -- and its Darwin offspring -- extensively use what are called "daemons" (which is how Pagans write "demon" -- they are notoriously poor spellers: magick, vampyre, etc.) which is a program that hides in the background, doing things without the user's notice. If you are using a new Macintosh running OS X then you probably have these "daemons" on your computer, hardly something a good Christian would want! This clearly illustrates that not only is Macintosh based on Darwinism, but Darwinism is based on Satanism.

    Lordy, Lordy, this is so thick that you need a shovel to get rid of that high holy smell.

    When looking at *any* kind of text that may or may not be slanted towards or away from any given viewpoint, please keep a look out for the world 'Clearly'. It usually indicates that the author is expecting the reader to make a logic jump that might otherwise not be warranted.

    Examples:

    Some people who live in capitalist societies are homeless and hungry, therefore we can CLEARLY determine that capitalism is responsible for homelessness and hunger.

    Some people who live in socialist societies are oppressed and have no rights. Therefore we can CLEARLY determine that socialism is equivalent to a dearth of human rights.

    Religous types are especially bad about this. I am a Christian... a very liberal Christian... but for a long time I lost my faith because of a poorly produced anti-evolution video I was forced to watch in high school (in Texas). Typical contents of the video can be summarized as follows.

    Because of [poorly documented and inadequately evidence] we can CLEARLY see that this discovery is a sham designed to discredit the world of our Lord...

    'Clearly' gives away propoganda 9 out of 10 times.

  • hrm (Score:5, Funny)

    by interiot ( 50685 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:22PM (#3391657) Homepage
    view source, see:
    • <META name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">

  • Lickable? (Score:5, Funny)

    by sweatyboatman ( 457800 ) <sweatyboatman@ho ... m minus caffeine> on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:23PM (#3391670) Homepage Journal
    They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

    I've been licking the buttons on my Dell laptop, and that's okay, but have you tasted the new IMac? Apple has again leaped way ahead in terms of user interface.

    Lickable Buttons. Hmmm... I wonder if he's thinking about those candies you used to get at street-fairs and the like which were just little dots on a roll of paper. Or perhaps those weren't really candies and this is all one long, crazy trip...

    Sweat

  • I was waiting for this to show up on /. (Score:3, Informative)

    by Space Coyote ( 413320 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:25PM (#3391687) Homepage
    ... Since it's been on every other website I regularly surf, and seems to fit the classic definition of a meme.

    There are discussions about this site on MetaFilter, a MacSlash article [macslash.com], a very funny Fark thread [fark.com], as well as mentions on Ars and Memepool.

    Seems the tech subset of the Internet has been well and truly trolled, if indeed this is a hoax, which I am inclined to believe, given that all of the banner ads on the site seem to lead to the same domain.

  • Comment removed (Score:5, Informative)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:27PM (#3391703)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • My favorite is the profile of contributor "Diamond" Jack Holgroth:

      "Diamond" Jack Holgroth is a Game Theoretician who currently teaches a course in Advanced Game Theory for Theologians at Fellowship University. He served our country during the Cold War as a Game Theory Tactician for the Department of Defense and single-handedly developed an elegant solution to the "Fisherman's Quandary", a game theory problem that was crucial to the winning of the arms race and that was famously intractable - until Diamond Jack came along.

      Very clever, but also quite clearly a joke.

    • Re:It's a hoax (Score:3, Funny)

      by FFFish ( 7567 )
      Here's the Best Page [truepath.com] of the site. It's the Kid's Page. :-)

      What should you do if you find an atheist?

      Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they've got it all figured out...
      ...but then why are they always so sad?

      If you find an atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

      You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM! Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

      Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

      The TruePath host is gonna be some stiffed what with all the Slashdot, MeFi, Fark, ARS, and Memepool hits... Atheist geeks destroy Christianity!

    • Re:It's a hoax (Score:5, Interesting)

      by superyooser ( 100462 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @05:54AM (#3393469) Homepage Journal
      Response: Nope. There really are people like that around here, especially in the South and the mid-West.

      I've been a conservative Christian in the South (churches on every street corner) all my life, and I don't know any Christians who think like that. To be sure, there are crackpots in every niche of humanity, though.

      This web site is embarrassing whether it's a hoax or not, because it fits with one of the stereotypes that non-believers have of Christians. The media loves to report quotes, dutifully taken out of context, that have been spouted by some knee-jerk, shoot-from-the-hip, camera-happy televangelist.

      What if the media consistently (or even once) projected Dr. "Death" Kevorkian as a typical doctor in the medical community, or v1urU$ h4X0r$ as typical IT professionals? You'd never see that, because they are not widely respected among their peers. (This is why "peer review" is so important in the scientific community; it helps to weed out crackpots.)

      But for believers in "Jeebus" -- they're fair game for mockery and wild distortions (actually, the Simpsons is pretty fair in this respect). Unfortunately, you'll never see prominent articles in the mainstream/secular news media quoting truly great pastors and evangelists who are widely respected in the Christian community, such as Ravi Zacharias [gospelcom.net], Adrian Rogers [lwf.org], Charles Stanley [intouch.org], James Dobson [family.org], and Ken Ham [answersingenesis.org].

  • The following is translated -almost- verbatim from an Onion book i have at home.
    Is science being taught in our schools?
    Asks the great news-paper "The Onion", instument of the rich, pacifier of the poor, americas finest news source, on its July 20, 1925 front page. "Scopes monkey trial raises troubling question:
    IS SCIENCE BEING TAUGHT IN OUR SCHOOLS?
    Should children be exposed to facts? are reason and empirical evidence suitable school subjects?"
    Clearly the answer to thes questions is no, as a man who holds that the welfare of the country takes precedence over any other human concern, I must stand firmly against the teaching of Science in our schools. This Science has already caused turmoil among the god-fearing readers of Slashdot, americas second finest, and most accurate, news source These peoples had no wish to know that they, as human creatures, may have descended from apes. What if Science were to champion other truths, provable and real, which people do not want to hear? For example, god forbid, what if Linux were proven by Science, to be superior to any version of Windows? The peoples reaction would cause division and conflict in our nation, nay, in our world, that would doubtless outweigh any benefits of the actual Scientific discovery. Should we teach our children facts? No, I say, a thousand time no! As they grow into tomorrows farmers, housewives, mill workers, and microsoft executives, facts are the last things they will need. Manners, subservience, above all, obedience! To speak only when spoken to, to standardize on one platform, and to not cause trouble! These are the principles upon which our educational system was founded. Why in the name of god should we replace it with a system that actually encourages the ignorant man to ask questions? A good citizen does nothing of the sort. He is content with the reasons he is given by his betters.
    Humanitys noblest heroes were not men who cared about facts. They were men who stood up for what they believed in, to hell with facts! To hell with any truth not their own! Our most cherished heroes would fight to the death, bludgeoning their enemies repeatedly, wholly uninterested in whether they were right or wrong. Once something is accepted as true, it should be true forever. This noble ideal, with its emphasis on unquestioning acceptance and obedience to authority, is what we should teach our children. It is the rock upon which we have built our government, our religion, and our American way of life, and it is the very ideal that science seeks to thwart with its new "discoveries" and impersonal ledgers of "facts".
    Learning! Why should we provide our citizens with learning? Does learning mathematics aid a man who will spend the rest of his life smelting iron in a foundry? Does knowing that man comes from apes, if he indeed does, which seems to be the subject of some debate, change the lot of the farmwife who spends her years shuttling barefoot between the birthing-bed and the milking-stool, as is proper? I say it does not. Furthermore, it fills the brains of children with useless facts which does not help them become better American Citizens. Does a fact have any inherent moral value? Does Science? We know that science allowed the Germans to develop the mustard gas,the motor-gun, and techno music. Has religion ever been used in such a fashion? With the exception of the holy hand grenade of antioch, no.
    Is it possible that we, with our motorcars, and aero-planes, powered by our internal-combustion engines, have already started us down a slippery slope of our destruction. We were not content to stay with time honored steam, to travel in our dignified trains and coach-and-fours, but we can take action now, before ape worshipping scientists turn us one against the other. We must cease our march of progress now, and there is no better way to achieve this than to keep the hellborn demon Science, and his diabolical Facts, from coming into contact with our children.

  • Hey, them's fightin' words!!!! (Score:3, Funny)

    by trailerparkcassanova ( 469342 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:29PM (#3391716)
    Apparently the Darwin OS is not the original creation of Apple Computers but is instead based off of an older, obsolete OS called "BSD Unix".

    Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!

  • This Is All True (Score:2, Funny)

    by e2d2 ( 115622 )
    This is "All True"*. It all started with the insidious darwinist plot using the fluoridation of the drinkng water supply, thereby contaminating our precious bodily fluids. This is just one of many plots master minded by the...I've already said too much....

    * All True actually meant to serve as placeholder for complete and utter bullshit
  • Not articles. Besides, did you see the footnotes?

    First nitpick: Actually, holyrollers that pretend to be true bible scholars annoy me. It wasn't a fig either, but rather a pomengranate.

    Second nitpick: The Woz chose that price as a joke. It was $666.66, not "666". Is the number of the beast 2/3's rounded off to the nearest cent? I suppose all electronic calculators are also satanic, since dividing 2 by 3 gives you the same thing. I guess that holyrolling is so boring though, even they have to dabble in numerology.

    And finally, I have to wonder if M$ isn't somehow involved with this. Maybe small cash donations to this guys church? There's something there, I'm sure.

  • Hey now! (Score:2, Informative)

    by KarmaSafe ( 560887 )
    We atheists don't capitalize "atheist". Unless it's at the beginning of a sentence, of course. We're a disorganized group that has very little in common other than being human and being without belief in any deities. It's like capitalizing "jugglers" or "ice skaters".
  • While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. [sic]

    That reminds me, how come I haven't seen any instructions from Satan, our lord and master, on slashdot recently?

    Like so many other computer elites, I depend on Slashdot to keep me up-to-date on the will of the Great Deciever - stuff for nerds, stuff that matters, SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! In fact, I'd like to see less social commentary / comedy on slashdot, more tekspiel and a lot more devil worshipping. Toward this end, I propose that we boycott Slashdot this Walpurgisnacht, and only post responses that relate to our obsequious obedience to the Prince of Darkness.

    Also, the moderation system is insufficiently inspired by the devil. For one thing, the karma cap isn't 666.

    If you're in the mood to listen to some fine "Evolutionist" music while prostrating yourself before the Satanic icon that is your new Imac, I suggest Fuck the Creationists [ampcast.com] (sign-up required), by the lyrical terrorist himself, MC Hawking [ampcast.com].

  • Bizarre (Score:5, Informative)

    by interiot ( 50685 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @09:41PM (#3391794) Homepage
    Kyle Goldman's old site [geocities.com]
    Kyle Goldman's new site [geocities.com]

    These two sites are obviously intentionally weird, and are heavily linked to the truepath site as well as the LandoverBaptist site. Some have suggested that he's the creator of all these parodies. There's also a possible googlebombing campaign going on ("baptist" returns the Landover Baptist site in third place) similar to the Co$'s campaign, where many seemingly unrelated but heavily interconnected sites are created.

  • FreeBSD in Texas (Score:5, Funny)

    by seanadams.com ( 463190 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @10:03PM (#3391936) Homepage

    It hasn't been a problem in California, but twice I was accused of being a devil worshipper while wearing my FreeBSD polo shirt in Texas.

    Noo... you see, it's an "operating system". There's these "processes" that run in the "background" and the little demon is just a mascot, sort of like... fuck it... you got me, it's Satan.
  • I'm not sure who I dislike more; idiot people like this who don't know what their talking about bringing computers and religion together in insane ways, or the idiot athiests who look down their noses and say 'See! See what I told you. Look at how silly those closed mided Christians are!'

    Darwin was a scientist. He observed phonomonea and came to a conclusion. His findings do not disprove creationism or God. All he has done has provided us with, based on observable phonomonea, the best possible understanding about the development of life on this planet.

    It's innane to ignore that in the face of so much compelling evidence. At the same time, athiests take up Darwin's name as a banner with as much fervor, closed mindedness, and compleate lack of a world view as any firebranding preacher.

    There is a spirtual side to the Universe. You can ignore it in the lab and get better results, but don't poo-pah people who like to keep it in mind.

  • Early Christian Church was Communist.... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Slurpee ( 4012 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @10:35PM (#3392094) Homepage Journal
    In practise, obviously not in name.

    Members of the early church gave all their belongings to the church, which was then used to support all the members of the church.

    Check out Acts (don't have the exact reference with me). For those who may not know, Acts is the book of the bible that describes what happens to Christianity straight after Jesus Leaves the Diciples. It shows how the church grew and spread through the world.

    For those who know no better....realise that this is a statement of fact by the author of Acts, and in no way does it promote nor demote Communisim.

    Any "preacher" who claims that Christianity supports capitalism (or communism) has no idea what the bible says (or doesn't say).

  • The funniest part of the site.... (Score:3, Funny)

    by pressman ( 182919 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @11:22PM (#3392277) Homepage
    The kids section. [truepath.com]

    The section on what to do if you discover that there is a grumpy old atheist in the neighborhood is hilarious. Also the little cartoon about how dinosaurs and humankind used to walk the earth together because the earth is only 10,000 years old is beyond compare. Evolution as a tool of Satan! I love it! Almost as funny as good ole Elron's theory about intergalactic genocide 75,000,000 years ago being the cause of all suffering for humans.

  • At least he got something right. (Score:3, Funny)

    by SrlKlr ( 219192 ) on Monday April 22, 2002 @11:36PM (#3392336) Homepage
    [Apple] is well known for its cult-like following. It isn't much of a stretch to say that it is a cult.

    Well the article got one thing right... I just did not know MAC people were so weird because they were in with Satan...
  • We spent a lot of time debating that today. The nail in the coffin was when we noticed the site uses the same retailer for its t-shirts as the landover baptist site. I really want a Bazooka Jesus shirt.
    -M

  • His Site Runs Communist Linux (Score:3, Interesting)

    by dew ( 3680 ) <david@weekly.TOKYOorg minus city> on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @12:14AM (#3392479) Homepage Journal
    look here [netcraft.com] -- he's running Linux:
    The site members.truepath.com is running Apache/1.3.22 (Unix) mod_perl/1.26 PHP/4.0.6 on Linux.

  • It's a Chickenhead operation (Score:4, Informative)

    by Animats ( 122034 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @12:16AM (#3392489) Homepage
    Chickenhead Productions [chickenhead.com] put in a lot of work on this. They also have WhiteHouse.org [whitehouse.org] and several other parody sites. And there's real depth at each site.

    I'm impressed.

    They have some cool merchandise, too.

  • Coming soon to fundamentalists near you (Score:3, Interesting)

    by jamie ( 78724 ) <jamie@slashdot.org> on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @01:01AM (#3392634) Journal
    I won't be at all surprised when this anti-Apple satire shows up in far-right-wing Christian literature. Remember the Onion story, "Harry Potter Books Spark Rise in Satanism Among Children"? Turns out it was taken seriously by many fundamentalist "news" agencies, including WorldNetDaily [worldnetdaily.com].

    So many people believed the Onion story was true that Snopes [snopes2.com] had to debunk it!

  • AC/DC, Apple in league with the devil (Score:4, Funny)

    by Ilan Volow ( 539597 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @02:33AM (#3393006) Homepage
    No wonder I've had a strange urge to a rip an MP3 of "Highway to Hell" on my iMac.

  • An Evil Parody (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Arandir ( 19206 ) on Tuesday April 23, 2002 @02:58AM (#3393091) Homepage Journal
    This is an evil parody. This is not real. I can't believe so many of you fell for it.

    Christians do not believe this tripe. Not even the fundamentalists or evangelicals. If all you know about christianity is what Hollywood and the MPAA tell you, then this guy sound genuine, but it most certainly is not. Distrust all stereotypes. A christian would be as likely to spout this blather as a geek would wear a pocket protector and taped glasses.

    The members.truepath.com website is hoax. A very elaborate hoax to be sure, but still a hoax. Just go to the members' bios page if you don't believe me.

    The proof of this hoax is simple: there is no theology anwhere. There's a lot of shouting about darwinism, communism and anti-christian terrorists, but I can't find any scriptural references anwhere in their arguments. Not one bible thump in evidence.

    I am a christian. I was raised in a christian household. I grew up in the California version of the bible-belt. But I've never met anyone who even remotely resembles these turkeys. Not even the nutbags on the Patriot Network or JT Chick come close.

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