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Transportation Apple

Steve Jobs' Yacht Revealed 438

Posted by samzenpus
from the sail-differently dept.
schwit1 writes "Venus, the incredible luxury yacht Steve Jobs had been designing up until his death a little over a year ago, seems to have made its first appearance as a finished product in the city of Aalsmeer in the Netherlands. Unsurprisingly, its design is breathtaking. Reportedly designed in a joint effort between Jobs himself and Philippe Starck, the stunning ship first showed up on the blog One More Thing, which posted some stills as well as a few other details. The ship is about 230 to 260 feet long, for instance, and made entirely of aluminum, which makes it particularly light. And if you had any doubt this is Steve Jobs' yacht, there are seven 27-inch iMacs in the wheelhouse. According to One More Thing's sources, the Jobs family will be present for the yacht's christening ceremony proper, thought it's unknown whether or not they intend to use it, or what its ultimate fate may be. Regardless of what may happen to her, she sure is a beauty. It's certainly a shame Steve Jobs never got the chance to see her finished."
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Steve Jobs' Yacht Revealed

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  • iSore? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:04PM (#41800927)

    I don't know, it looks more like an iSore to me.

    • Re:iSore? (Score:5, Funny)

      by gfxguy (98788) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:07PM (#41800943)
      No joke... "breathtaking" in a bad way, maybe.
    • Re:iSore? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by tomhath (637240) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:09PM (#41800951)
      More like a barge than a yacht. I guess he was going for the rectangle with rounded corners look.
      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward
        None of the corners are rounded. Philippe Starck didn't want to get sued.
      • by xQx (5744) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:47PM (#41801177)
        Sleek and mirrory with floor to ceiling windows... until you see the wheelhouse. Seriously, WTF?!

        It looks like Steve Jobs took the designs of the black ship that Zaphod Beeblebrox stole from the restaurant at the end of the universe, built it in white, then jammed a old corrugated iron shack on the top for a wheelhouse!
    • Re:iSore? (Score:5, Funny)

      by slashmydots (2189826) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:34PM (#41801109)
      Don't worry, it will use Apple Maps and crash into something in Nebraska. Yeah, that far inland, lol.
    • Re:iSore? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Grayhand (2610049) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:51PM (#41801199)

      I don't know, it looks more like an iSore to me.

      A two word description, sterile and boring. If you turned that in as a final design for design school I'd expect to flunk. Even the placement of the iMacs lacks imagination. I thought they'd be built in not sitting in a row blocking the window. A design fail on every level.

      • by pmontra (738736)
        The most static boat design I ever saw. It's great only if the goal was disguising it with the buildings in the harbor.
    • Re:iSore? (Score:4, Funny)

      by donscarletti (569232) on Monday October 29, 2012 @03:54AM (#41801959)
      An hater would say that it shows that Jobs had no design talent of his own, an admirer would say it shows he was too professional to waste Jony Ive's time designing his personal possessions. Either way, his legacy as a man of taste would have been greater if the executor of his estate scuttled her before she was complete.
    • by Dekker3D (989692)

      I agree. This is not what I expected when the article called it "breathtaking". It's not even breathtakingly bad, it's just... plain. I don't even like Apple (ethical reasons) but I have to admit they usually have some sort of sense of design. That makes it pretty hard to believe a designer like Jobs ever thought of this ship.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:08PM (#41800949)

    For those of you who wish to save bandwidth and not seek out a picture:

    Imagine USS Seal and Merrimack having a love child.
    Imagine a hurricane depositing a pagoda on top.
    But not as pretty.

  • by Pikoro (844299) <init AT init DOT sh> on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:09PM (#41800953) Homepage Journal

    What an ugly monstrosity. Well, we know Steve was a minimalist. Look at the pictures of the bridge. No buttons!

    • Ugly! Ugly! Ugly!

      From the looks of it, I assume that Jonathan Ive was NOT involved in the design.

      • by rubycodez (864176)

        hmmmm, it's really just the front of that thing that throws the whole look off, it's like a 50's kitchen appliance. some kind of angular shape is need there and no reflective surfaces at all....

  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:11PM (#41800965)

    Samsung's CEO's new yacht. I hear they'll be debuting it next year.

  • by ALeader71 (687693) <glennsnead AT gmail DOT com> on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:12PM (#41800981)

    That is the ugliest seagoing thing I have ever seen. Job's design taste obviously didn't come from Jobs himself. He should've had his designers build models (for him to poop on) until he found one that was sleek and attractive.

  • Kind of Frank Lloyd Wrightesque... not my impression of a ship for rough seas.
  • by jjjhs (2009156) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:15PM (#41801001)
    ... with all the profit from all the overpriced iDevices.
  • by Yo_mama (72429) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:16PM (#41801019) Homepage

    Looks like the Jobs reality distortion effect persists after death!

  • by aurashift (2037038) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:18PM (#41801023)

    And if you had any doubt this is Steve Jobs' yacht, there are seven 27-inch iMacs in the wheelhouse.

    Why yes I do. I doubt any egocentric billionaire could afford one of those $1800 27-inch iMacs, much less seven of them. Good lord, such opulence!

    • Meh. I'm waiting for an egocentric trillionaire to build a 27" iMac Beowulf wheelhouse cluster.
  • by titanium93 (839011) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:23PM (#41801059)
    This is a yacht!
    http://diamondsyacht.com/ [diamondsyacht.com]
  • by cervesaebraciator (2352888) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:24PM (#41801063)
    At least it's not a rectangle with rounded corners, then he'd have to pay royalties to a certain company.
  • Seaworthy? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by PPH (736903) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:34PM (#41801107)

    Big panels of vertical glass. What happens when one of them takes a good sized wave?

  • I expected more flowing lines not something so... blocky. To each his own, I suppose. I still wouldn't turn it down if someone offered it to me, of course :-). I love boats, and something like that would be fantastic. Not that I could afford even the slip fees, much less to start the engines.
    • by PPH (736903)
      If you want sleek and minimalist, take a look at Wally Yachts [wally.com]. Personally, I prefer the ones with the big stick in the middle with those cloth things hanging from it.
      • by aXis100 (690904)

        Fark....the Wally//118 is 12 kinds of awesome!!

        Would have suited apple's style much better than the hideous monstrosity they have now.

  • by Stephen Gilbert (554986) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:41PM (#41801143)

    No sails. Less space than an aircraft carrier. Lame.

  • Buddhist (Score:4, Insightful)

    by EnsilZah (575600) <EnsilZah@NospAM.Gmail.com> on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:49PM (#41801189)

    I'd have thought a Buddhist would strive to be unencumbered by such monuments to worldly wealth.
    But then, I might not be well enough informed.

  • It's a shame? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by AntiBasic (83586)

    How is it a shame that a cruel, lying, megalomaniac who disavowed his daughter's existence for nearly 20 years didn't get to out on his yacht?

    • by Swampash (1131503)

      To think that you had that line carefully crafted in your mind, honed to a mirrorlike snark, ready to inspire flailing uncoordinated nerd high-fives from all who would read it, only to fumble it in the end zone by making a brain-dead syntactical fuckup that rendered the entire post nonsensical.

  • by PPH (736903) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:55PM (#41801215)

    I hate to be a nit-picker, but are those iMac monitors daylight readable?

  • by flyingfsck (986395) on Sunday October 28, 2012 @11:57PM (#41801221)
    Damn, what a horrid yacht. It looks like a 1920s steam ferry.
  • a thing of beauty? (Score:5, Informative)

    by macbeth66 (204889) on Monday October 29, 2012 @12:00AM (#41801231)

    As much as I dislike Apple, the company, they do have some smart looking gadgets. And they owe a lot of that to Steven Jobs, I'm sure. But that thing looks like the Staten Island Ferry. A nice one, but a ferry none the less.

    I just went to Google, typed in yachts and hit image. There were some truly beautiful boats; sail and powered. Steve Jobs was NO boat designer.

    • by donweel (304991)

      Agreed. I have recently spent about two years in a shipyard restoring an antique wooden boat. I have seen a lot of people throwing truckloads of money at something they thought up. I have come to call them barn jobs they always look like something built in a barn. A truly fine vessel has a pedigree. A known designer, built in a known shipyard, will always have worth, and be a thing of beauty. He could of just paid these guys [feadship.com] and described what he wanted and ended up with something nice.

  • Phillipe Starck (Score:5, Insightful)

    by GrahamCox (741991) on Monday October 29, 2012 @12:40AM (#41801383) Homepage
    Starck is the very embodiment of style over substance. His products often look kinda striking or eye-catching, but they function incredibly poorly. The man is a charlatan who threw out the first rule of design: form follows function. A great artist might just about be able to get away with that, but the only person who puts Starck in that category is Starck.

    He's no genius, just an egomaniac with the ability to fool a surprising number of people at least some of the time.

    I wouldn't be surprised if this thing is sunk in the first rough seas it encounters, if its design is anything like as poor as his laughable lemon squeezer.
    • Re:Phillipe Starck (Score:5, Insightful)

      by ApplePy (2703131) on Monday October 29, 2012 @01:58AM (#41801601)

      This Starck character appears to be the nautical version of the famed "architect" Daniel Libeskind. Libeskind designs art museums without vertical walls upon which to hang art.

      Charlatan is the right word, sir. But perhaps a little lacking. Charlatans designed the emperor's new clothes. I think this class of people -- Libeskind, Christo, and a few handfuls of others -- have elevated the art of charlatanry to new heights. I can't help but wonder if their "designs" are tongue-in-cheek commentary on the vulgar tastes of a bourgeoisie who seem only too happy to embrace having their faces spat upon. The working stiffs know it's ugly and awful. Only the upwardly-mobile pretend to like having poo flung at them.

  • Not even close. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by DerekLyons (302214) <fairwater@gmail. c o m> on Monday October 29, 2012 @01:01AM (#41801439) Homepage

    "Regardless of what may happen to her, she sure is a beauty."

    No she isn't, she's hideous - a barge with a couple of boxes and some cardboard on top. Worse yet, with that straight bow and huge expanses of glass in the forepeak... she's not designed to keep the sea either. (And what kind of moron puts passenger spaces in the fo'c'sle anyhow? Other than a bunk slung between the mains, that's the worst part of the ship.)

    She's obviously designed for nothing more than staying in calm waters or moored to impress the impressionable - an as a sailor, I say that's a abomination.

  • by WGFCrafty (1062506) on Monday October 29, 2012 @01:05AM (#41801451)
    but I always thought the Astoria [wikipedia.org] perfectly reflects Gilmours more laid back persona.
  • by ExploHD (888637) on Monday October 29, 2012 @01:10AM (#41801465)
    Too bad it needs a proprietary port
  • iDon'tLikeit (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Pepebuho (167300) on Monday October 29, 2012 @01:28AM (#41801519) Homepage

    It looks ugly, it does not look like a seafaring vessel, but I may be mistaken. Ugly lines

  • only one hull ? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by swell (195815) <jabberwock@poetic. c o m> on Monday October 29, 2012 @01:46AM (#41801575)

    Try as I might with these poor images, I can find only one hull. So many elegant multihull designs in recent decades and he has chosen a barge. It's not just speed that he's sacrificed, it's comfort, safety, fuel efficiency, ability to approach shallow water and, as so many have noticed, class.

  • by xs650 (741277) on Monday October 29, 2012 @02:55AM (#41801779)
    Like most Apple iproducts the ibox it came in looks OK. When are they going to take the iyacht out of the box?
  • by Murdoch5 (1563847) on Monday October 29, 2012 @07:52AM (#41802739)
    I personally think it looks horrible, it's a big triangle, it looks like a mac book case and overall it bulky and retro styled in a bad way. I would of expected to see something like this in an old star trek episode as a "future yacht", I would never of thought that anyone would build a massive yacht and make this ugly on purpose.
  • by TheSkepticalOptimist (898384) on Monday October 29, 2012 @10:16AM (#41803845)

    I don't know, this makes the Jobs family look like the biggest group of douches in history.

    I've said it before that usually when some rich billionaire dies of some kind of disease, there is usually some kind of center for research that the family declares in his honour. I've heard nothing, no donations, nothing from Apple or the Jobs family about giving some of them billions into research that might help prevent other families suffer the results of cancer.

    Instead the family happily reveals a superfluous yacht. What a bunch of douches.

    Why do people love this company? The create inhuman working conditions so they can produce their devices a 2 - 5x profit margin, rake in billions in profit and then hoard the money away giving absolutely nothing back to society. Yet Bill Gates, who has focused his life to philanthropy, giving away billions, is regarded as an asshole.

Aren't you glad you're not getting all the government you pay for now?

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