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Iphone Apple

One More Thing For Apple Stores: Food? 176

mattnyc99 writes "Esquire raises an interesting question on iPhone 5 day: What if Apple stores had cafes? From an analyst cited in the article: 'In line with the Genius Bar concept, I could see them taking a part of the store and making it a café atmosphere where customers could interact with technology in a relaxed environment.'"
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One More Thing For Apple Stores: Food?

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  • by Barryke ( 772876 ) on Tuesday October 04, 2011 @12:16PM (#37600274) Homepage

    Alcohol would help sales as it increases the chance of making impulse decisions.

  • by billcopc ( 196330 ) <vrillco@yahoo.com> on Tuesday October 04, 2011 @01:33PM (#37601380) Homepage

    Dude... as a guy who regularly writes code while sitting in a quiet pub, I can tell you first-hand: the last thing you want to see is a drunken Apple fanboi.

    I have the unfortunate distinction of owning a 17" MBP. Wasn't my idea, but part of my job is mobile app dev, and I needed a new laptop anyway, so I let my boss buy me the dumb thing. Every goddamned turtleneck-wearing cockmongler has to bless me with a rant about how they love their Mac. When I tell them I hate the thing and that it hinders my workflow, the answer is always "you'll learn to love it" - never "you will get used to it" or "yeah I guess that feature kind of sucks". They simply cannot parse the reality that someone might not be head-over-heels for a piece of Apple hardware.

    And that's when they're fresh off the street, still sober. After one and a half pints of wheat beer, they step it up a notch by shouting in your ear about how awesome GarageBand is, you're a "fucking dinosaur" for using Cubase. After pint #3, they start telling you how iCloud is going to change your life and end world hunger. Somewhere during pint #4, the bartender calls 9-1-1 because Mr Fanboi has accidentally fallen under your boot and crushed their windpipe.

    So no, let's not sell booze at the Apple store. Those cultists are annoying enough as it is, and frankly I'm already quite tired of having to cleave through hordes of people just to buy a stupid charger. You want to improve the Apple store experience ? Kick them out after 5 minutes if they haven't bought anything. It's a fucking Apple store, they sell all of 4 products. You don't need to browse, you need to get in, remortgage your kidneys, and get the fuck out.

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