Forgot your password?
typodupeerror
Books Apple

Steve Jobs: the Comic Book 119

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the alternate-covers-please dept.
An anonymous reader writes "Steve Jobs' life and career is to be imortalised in a comic book biography. "Steve Jobs: Co-Founder of Apple" appears to describe his life from birth to the current day. Jobs notoriously hates biographies, so it'll be interesting to see how he responds to this one."
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Steve Jobs: the Comic Book

Comments Filter:
  • Did they submit an electronic version of the comic to the App Store?
    • by Anonymous Coward

      You laugh now, but in a thousand years The Book of Jobs may be part of the bible.

      • by David Gerard (12369) <slashdot AT davidgerard DOT co DOT uk> on Tuesday June 14, 2011 @03:54PM (#36440538) Homepage

        Neuroscientists have found that religious fervour lights up the same parts of the brain as waiting in line for your devotions at the Apple Store.

        The scientists were interviewed by a BBC programme exploring the fantastically lucrative and popular brands springing up around the supernatural. Religions such as “Christianity” parody the story of the semi-mythical Steve Jobs’ [newstechnica.com] virgin birth, adoption by a humble Silicon Valley family, founding of Apple, expulsion from the fold, decade in the wilderness and triumphant Second Coming, in which devotees were led to enlightenment, glory and hipness.

        “We suspect religions may be memetic parasites latching onto the areas of the brain evolved to appreciate Apple products,” said one scientist whose name is being withheld for protection from outraged Apple jihadis. “The scans of ‘religion’ appear remarkably similar — the adrenal glands are stimulated and the same areas of the visual regions light up. Somewhat in the shape of an apple. No, really! Apple-shaped brain stigmata! I’ve contacted Cupertino with news of a miracle, and put the scans up on eBay.”

        Cupertino’s response was frosty. “To have the sacred enlightenment of the products of our saviour Steve maligned by comparison to mere witchdoctor cultist mumbo-jumbo is no less than a calculated insult. One important difference is that our stuff works. If you hold it right.” The spokesman then compared the neuroscientist’s mother to a PC.

        “The comparison is ridiculous,” said “religious” leader Joe “Happy Heil” Ratzinger. “We’re just out to make an honest buck like anyone. Well, fairly honest.”

        • by node 3 (115640)

          The irony is this also applies to pretty much *anyone* who gets excited over *anything* like this. For example, what part of your brain do you think lights up when you find a study that reinforces your idea that Apple fans are religious zealots? Hmm...?

          Or when you get into a "holy war" over Unity in Ubuntu? Or Google's new Arduino kit? Or you walk out of Fry's with a bunch of computer parts to build your next rig?

          Or hell, for the perverse amongst us, when MS shows off their next version of Windows.

          • The irony is this also applies to pretty much *anyone* who gets excited over *anything* like this. For example, what part of your brain do you think lights up when you find a study that reinforces your idea that Apple fans are religious zealots? Hmm...?

            Utter claptrap and many of you ARE zealots - anyone who queues overnight on a pavement just to be at a new Apple store opening [youtube.com] is a religious nutjob, full stop.

            Anyone that queues up overnight for a new Apple device, the latest Harry Potter book or the latest

  • How come Jobs [staticworld.net] looks like Dr. Evil [everseradio.com]?
  • by cHALiTO (101461) <elchalo@gm[ ].com ['ail' in gap]> on Tuesday June 14, 2011 @01:27PM (#36438482) Homepage

    Rather sounds like a job for Neil Gaiman =P

    Also, it kinda makes me think of the movie "pirates of silicon valley [imdb.com]"

  • Was expecting this to come for Gabe Newell first. Considering how the gamer community pretty much worships him day-in day-out (I admit am one of those who like him, too).
  • Steve Jobs liked to say "BOOM" a lot in his demos in the past.

  • He has notoriously fought 3rd party biographies before... why the change? Is mortality really staring him down that hard?
    • No kidding, if I was Jobs, I'd be more worried by eulogies than biographies.

    • by elrous0 (869638) * on Tuesday June 14, 2011 @02:08PM (#36439048)

      He's fought them because they weren't sufficiently worshipful--and because they mentioned uncomfortable little issues like the daughter he denied for years (yes, one of the richest men in the U.S. let his daughter be raised on welfare with no father) or how he fucked over Steve Wozniak (the guy that really started Apple). Jobs doesn't like biographies because they inevitably show him as the shitheel-excuse-for-a-human-being he really is.

      • He fucked over Woz? Do tell.

        IIRC, Woz himself has denied any particular animosity between them. And if you mean monetarily, I hope Jobs "fucks me over" next...

        • by tlhIngan (30335)

          Well, Jobs has screwed Woz in the past, but Woz has pretty much forgiven him and let things be since there's nothing he can do, and he was pretty well compensated anyhow.

          E.g., when Jobs was working at Atari, he needed to reduce the chip count for a bonus. Jobs gave the task to Woz and paid him $100 for his efforts, not knowing that Jobs took his design, submitted it and got a $500 bonus.

          Honestly, Jobs is just a very shrewd businessman. Yes he screws people over. Yes he's an a**hole. No it doesn't excuse wha

          • If you read about Apple there's a common thread to interactions with Jobs. Nearly everyone says that while the guy can be a monumental asshole (often people phrase it nicer), he also pushed them to do the best work they ever did. If he hadn't come along what are the odds the Apple I would have just stayed a project in a closet of Woz's office at HP ?

            • by tehcyder (746570)

              If you read about Apple there's a common thread to interactions with Jobs. Nearly everyone says that while the guy can be a monumental asshole (often people phrase it nicer), he also pushed them to do the best work they ever did. If he hadn't come along what are the odds the Apple I would have just stayed a project in a closet of Woz's office at HP ?

              Apple makes consumer electronic goods, they're not looking for a cure for cancer or the secret of time travel.. Building a nicer shiny white gizmo does not excuse being an arsehole.

              • The world's full of assholes, some lead companies and some troll discussion boards, best to just deal with it.

      • History is written by the victors. ;)
        • by tehcyder (746570)

          History is written by the victors. ;)

          Bollocks, however much money Apple makes they can't suppress the truth.

      • by CODiNE (27417)

        I think the bit about his daughter really needs a bit more context. This happened when Apple was really starting to take off and all the sudden he found himself a millionaire. Next thing you know people start crawling out of the woodwork looking for $$ and here's his ex-gf claiming she has his baby. A lot of guys would be suspicious about that and DNA based paternity tests weren't even invented yet. So what do you do? Wait a year or so for the kid to pop out then see if it looks like you.

        Even today wit

        • No, Jobs never denied that Lisa was his daughter, and only gave her mother the equivalent of a welfare check (literally) to support her. However, he later relented and paid for Lisa's education. Apparently, they are quite close now.

          Of course, he also named a computer after the poor kid.
          • by rubycodez (864176)
            but that was when she was a teen, before that she was poor and deprived while Jobs had meteoric rise in wealth and power. Steve had lied and said in court he was sterile and unable to procreate (he has at least three more children). what a tool and miserable excuse for a human being.
        • by tehcyder (746570)

          Even today with much more accurate testing you still have young guys whose first reaction is "It isn't mine!". At that age and level of maturity it's common for young guys to freak out and go into immediate denial.

          Yes, but the sort of young men who do that are worthless twats.

      • The guy clearly had issues naming a computer after her (the Apple Lisa) while at the same time ignoring her. They're reconciled though and she went to live with him for a couple of years afterwards. There seems to be something a little "off" about all these guys who become CEO's and the like, if you ask me there's more than a hint of psychopathology in all of them.

      • would be the film There Will Be Blood.

        Little too close to home, I'll warrant.
  • This "news" is relevant to my interests. Historians for ages to come will study this biography and relate the deeply profound lessons learned inside to our great-grandchildren.
  • If they do die, the get brought back in some convoluted storyline, like a time-travel bullet.
  • "...it'll be interesting to see how he responds to this one." Easy answer. If he doesn't agree with every little piece of it, he'll use the weight of Apple (and their lawyers) to sue the crud out of them.
  • The article says: "...perhaps because of his recent brushes with mortality, Jobs recently authorized Walter Isaacson to write 'iSteve: The Book of Jobs'"

    Hm, perhaps Jobs could achieve some more immortality by donating the source code of OS X to the Free Software Foundation?

    That would be cooler than a comic book about his life.

    • by vlm (69642)

      Hm, perhaps Jobs could achieve some more immortality by donating the source code of OS X to the Free Software Foundation?

      They'd probably ask if the BSD licensed parts can be relicensed under the GPL, and/or claim it should be named GNU-OSX

    • by tehcyder (746570)

      Hm, perhaps Jobs could achieve some more immortality by donating the source code of OS X to the Free Software Foundation?

      There are already sufficient people working on producing free shiny nonsense from scratch without having to see the source code for OSX

  • Ability to crush his opponents with lawyers?
    • by drb226 (1938360)
      Mesmerising Jedi mind trick powers (you know, convinces the weak-minded...)
      • by Anonymous Coward

        "Those are not the droids you're looking for."

        "This is the new iphone you're looking for."

  • imortalised

    I'm fairly sure the spelling is "immortalized" (American) or "immortalized" (British). How much does Slashdot pay its editors again?

    • Sounds like they are launching a new apple product to bring fine design into your death experience.
      • by syousef (465911)

        Sounds like they are launching a new apple product to bring fine design into your death experience.

        My favourite Apple product is iMaLittleTeaPot

    • I'm fairly sure the spelling is "immortalized" (American) or "immortalized" (British). How much does Slashdot pay its editors again?

      British uses an 's.' Because you have them both the same, I assume you made a simple typo, just like (I suspect) the summary did.

      • by PhxBlue (562201)
        Heh, that I did. Of course, I'm not being paid to edit /. stories (and clearly for good cause). :)
        • Heh, that I did. Of course, I'm not being paid to edit /. stories (and clearly for good cause). :)

          Shirley, you jest! They get PAID!? Holy fucking shit, Batman!

  • it doesn't sound good w/ a lower case "i" in front of it. "iBiography" just isn't marketable. Plus a biography has to be about and actual living being,
  • They also have a great one about Michelle Obama which I've been tracking on Tumblr [tumblr.com].
  • by Anonymous Coward

    How can a guy who builds walled gardens and serves on Disney's board of directors achieve God status? Can't people find a less evil person to worship?

    And speaking of evil, prepare for "publicity rights" claim against this biography in 3..2..1..

    • He's one of the founding fathers of the modern computing industry. Love him or loathe him computers wouldn't be the same without him.

      • I think you need to change your keyboard layout back to "QWERTY" from "BOLLOCKS" as it's outputting unintelligible gibberish currently.

      • by tehcyder (746570)

        He's one of the founding fathers of the modern computing industry. Love him or loathe him computers wouldn't be the same without him.

        HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Nice one.

  • by elrous0 (869638) * on Tuesday June 14, 2011 @01:59PM (#36438924)

    Yes, I know it happened. But did they really have to show it?

    • by arcite (661011)
      I just got an image of a scruffy pudgy guy with hippy hair in a plaid shirt grabbing his ankles. Need to bleach out my eyes now, thanks.
  • More pictures here (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 14, 2011 @02:02PM (#36438954)

    I'm Keir Thomas, the author of this piece. For some reason the PCW editor only used one of the images I sourced (although I believe they're putting more online). More pics can be found here:

    http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg1.jpg [keirthomas.com]
    http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg2.jpg [keirthomas.com]
    http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg3.jpg [keirthomas.com]
    http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg4.jpg [keirthomas.com]

  • This article is more than an hour old. Where's the lawsuit?

  • I don't blame him for mis-liking the idea of such a treatment which isn't under his control.

  • It's not a typo.

  • Avengers?
    Fantastic Four (maybe Five?)
    Justice League of America?
    Or should he be a loner like Spiderman, Flash, or Green Latern?
    What about a Captain America type? Who would be his sidekick?
    Or a dynamic duo where he teams up with The Woz?
    What kinds of superheroines would be most appropriate in this comic?
    • I immediately thought of The Ambiguously Gay Duo. No offense to the Steves. It just seemed to have comic potential.
  • Will there be a sequel, and in it will his turtleneck take on a life of its own, controlling him to do evil things until he overcomes it by believing in himself?

  • Lexxical speculates about what "gems of pure ego" might be in such a comic book... this is hilarious
    http://lexxical.universeii.com/2011/06/steve-jobs-alternate-autobiography.html [universeii.com]

  • All Blue Water publishes, with the lone exception of their license for the Logan's Run series, is celebrity profile/biography books. Last week, Howard Stern's comic hit the shelves. We ordered two copies. Those two copies are still on the shelf. Even most "indie" titles we'll order a dozen off, and the average big name title can be as high as 100 copies.

    Simply put, we can't sell Blue Water's crap. The only way this publication will become newsworthy is if the issue actually sells. Too bad the most
    • by dzfoo (772245)

      It may not be the potential damage to their hipster image they fear. Perhaps those comics don't sell because they are ridiculous and crap.

      By looking at the sample artwork, I do not see anything remotely interesting, and the thought that they are portraying celebrities as super-heroes makes me cringe uncomfortably.

      It looks like one of those lame comics that Google likes to put out. Who thinks lame, uninteresting art, and a writing tone and style reminiscent of pop-up books is every going to attract anyone?

      • by DrSlinky (710703)
        Oh, these comics don't sell because they are ridiculous and crap. There's no denying that. What I'm saying is that because these books are so bad, the only people who might buy them are members of the "Cult of Jobs." And I just don't see those people walking into comic stores often... well, at least not at the store I work at.
  • by Anonymous Coward

    There has already been a Steve Jobs: The Comic Book, more or less - Mitsuru Sugaya's "Apple II Story" - http://sugaya.otaden.jp/d2008-07-11.html

  • It's a good idea to make a comic about Steve Jobs. However, I think there should be comics about other people who had their effects in the computer fields like Steve Wozniak, Richard Stallman, Dennis Ritchie, Ken Thompson, Bjarne Stoustrup, Linus Torvalds, Charles Babbage, etc. Not only they're gonna be entertaining, but they're going to be educative to read about from children to even students in the universities.
  • Apple is a religious cult, Steve Jobs is their messiah-like leader. That's why they can make a comic about him and drooling fanbois will hand over their cash unquestionably.

    Be honest, could you see a Steve Ballmer or Linux Torvalds comic working?

    • by dzfoo (772245)

      I'd be honest, I do not see a Steve Jobs comic working, either.

      By the way, I do not think that comic was commissioned by Jobs or Apple. The article does not mention this, though it does mention that an actually authorized biography will be published next year by Walter Isaacson.

            -dZ.

  • "Jobs notoriously hates biographies..."

    Depends, does it not, on Lisa 1 or Lisa 2. The machine version was notorious.

  • Frame 1 Caption: Steve wasn't sufficiently challenged by school 'This is boring! I wish I was writing a 16-bit chip emulator for the 6502' Frame 2 'Heh! Sweet-16 is totally sweet! But now I need another challenge' Frame 3 Thinks: 'What if I could create a totally sealed line of products that meant the user had to take my way or the highway? Yeah! And I could charge them £100 for battery replacement!' Frame 4 Caption: 25 years later 'Made it!'
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Let's face it a paper based comic book is probably the best GUI for Apple based products and their users - the battery never dies either.
  • That cover illustrates plenty how glossed over this one is gonna be... He looks so... alien.

    M

  • Apple is a religious cult, Steve Jobs is their messiah-like leader.
  • I think this is really strange, but I am nosy anyhow. Jobs is no superhero, what do they have to tell in a comic?

Little known fact about Middle Earth: The Hobbits had a very sophisticated computer network! It was a Tolkien Ring...

Working...