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Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States 888

Posted by pudge
from the we-need-a-megalomaniacal-leader-for-a-change dept.
Will Foster writes "There is a groundswell of support for electing Steve Jobs President of the United States." I'll vote for him if I can write in my vote -- with a Newton stylus!
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Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

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  • Stupid. (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    This is a stupid idea. Why not form some of your own political views and act on them?
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Well, that would give you reasonable odds of voting in Albert Gore.
    • by mdechene (607874) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @08:52PM (#5140441)
      So, I was having these negotiations with North Korea over their Nukes, and then all of a sudden, they were like boom boom boom boom boom and then South Korea was gone. North Korea, ate South Korea.

      It was kinda.....a bummer.
  • Wrong Steve (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Servo (9177) <dstringf&gmail,com> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:14PM (#5139129) Journal
    I wouldn't vote for Steve Jobs for president, but I would definately vote for the "Woz". Something tells me that Jobs would actually make a better figurehead president than Woz though.
    • Re:Wrong Steve (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Forgotten (225254) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:22PM (#5139214)
      Only if you quaintly assume that being president has something to do with having a bountiful clue, or being a kind reasonable person.

      Woz would make a great technical or education advisor, but probably a lousy president.
    • Re:Wrong Steve (Score:4, Insightful)

      by dublisk (456374) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:24PM (#5139229) Homepage
      Remind me again - what's the difference between a figurehead and a president?

      • Re:Wrong Steve (Score:4, Informative)

        by nomadic (141991) <nomadicworldNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:48PM (#5139474) Homepage
        A large one. Anyone who thinks the President doens't have real power hasn't been reading the news lately. Or ever.
        • by Earlybird (56426) <slashdot.purefiction@net> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @08:27PM (#5140242) Homepage
          Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. (Douglas Adams)
        • Re:Wrong Steve (Score:5, Interesting)

          by Un pobre guey (593801) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @09:11PM (#5140553) Homepage
          Score:5, Insightful

          You guys must be kidding! Insightful? The guy thinks Dubya is up there doing "leadership"?

          No doubt we're going to invade Iraq to free their people and bring them democracy, right? And clamping the international price of petroleum forever has nothing to do with it, right? And funneling several hundred billion dollars through the defense industry while ignoring the growing crowds of unemployed has nothing to do with it, right? And giving the top 5% income bracket lots of new tax breaks and only giving the rest of us a few hundred bucks has nothing to do with it, right? And imposing the Christian version of the Taliban on us has nothing to do with it, right? And suspending our rights to privacy and due process so we don't get in their way has nothing to do with it, right? And, and...

          Dude, pass me the fucking pipe!

          • Re:Wrong Steve (Score:4, Insightful)

            by sql*kitten (1359) on Thursday January 23, 2003 @05:53AM (#5141969)
            No doubt we're going to invade Iraq to free their people and bring them democracy, right?

            Actually, I think so. Sure, it may only be a side effect, but I think it will happen, and I think that it is actually in the West's long-term strategic interest to do so. The whole Middle East is full of disenfranchised people held in line by a combination of propaganda blaming infidels (the carrot) and secret police (the stick). It's a powder keg waiting to go off. A truly democratic regime in the region will bleed off a lot of the pressure.

            And clamping the international price of petroleum forever has nothing to do with it, right?

            I got news for you: jacking up the price of oil is the economic equivalent of sending the Navy to blockade a port. Both are forms of economic warfare, and both are a threat.

            And funneling several hundred billion dollars through the defense industry while ignoring the growing crowds of unemployed has nothing to do with it, right?

            So, let's see what you're saying here, Dubya is bad because he's ignoring the economy, and Dubya is bad because he's trying to see off a far worse economic threat. Which is it to be? Or have you made up your mind that anything he does is wrong by definition?

            Personally, I'd rather see the money spent on a way to make the West independent of the Middle East for energy (like fusion research), but even you cannot deny that defense spending creates jobs. That's a historical fact.

            And giving the top 5% income bracket lots of new tax breaks and only giving the rest of us a few hundred bucks has nothing to do with it, right?

            I read in the Washington Post that the top 5% of earners pay 41% of the total Federal tax collected annually. That's an awful lot. I think those folks have been carrying more than their fair share of the tax burden for a long time. BTW, those on $30k/year or less effectively pay no Federal tax at all.

            And imposing the Christian version of the Taliban on us has nothing to do with it, right? And suspending our rights to privacy and due process so we don't get in their way has nothing to do with it, right?

            Yeah, I agree with you here. The moral of the story: if you want to be critical of someone, and be taken seriously yourself, criticise them for what they actually have done, don't go off on an unsubstantiated rant about irrelevant issues.
    • Re:Wrong Steve (Score:2, Insightful)

      by jmcharry (608079)
      Not a problem. Run Woz for VP and let him actually run the country,as is done today.
      • by Tackhead (54550)
        > Not a problem. Run Woz for VP and let him actually run the country,as is done today.

        Jobs for Prez, and Woz for Veep?

        Dudes, one civil war was enough, thank you :)

    • by ayjay29 (144994) on Thursday January 23, 2003 @04:12AM (#5141748)
      How 'bout Steve Ballmer?

      I wanna see the Iraq war press conference where he runs around the stage dancing and shouting:

      "Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans! Americans!"

  • well. . . (Score:5, Funny)

    by Rojo^ (78973) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:15PM (#5139135) Homepage Journal
    Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States

    well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)
    • Re:well. . . (Score:5, Interesting)

      by bluethundr (562578) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:54PM (#5139525) Homepage Journal
      well, the mac community is probably larger than the perot community. ;)

      If Jobs got to be the president of the USA, that would not be the first time that Perot got burned by Jobs. Perot was one of the largest investors in a little venture which was at one time known as NeXT. [jlc.net]
  • website (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Thats one of the ugliest websites i've ever seen. I thought Apple-monkies were supposed to be kings of visual stuff.
  • Why? (Score:3, Funny)

    by genka (148122) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:15PM (#5139143) Homepage Journal
    Why should I vote for him? Did he invented Internet?
  • by DasBub (139460) <dasbub@[ ]bub.com ['das' in gap]> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:16PM (#5139149) Homepage
    He'll run the country without having any idea of how it actually works, fire anyone who doesn't follow his vision, steal ideas from other countries...

    By God, he might be the best president yet!
    • Yeh, and every year the State of the Union address will be held at MacWorld where he'll announce budget figures and employment levels pacing up and down a stage with one of those boom-mics on his face, and in between announcing a speed-bump for the Powerbooks and a new version of iTunes.
  • by AuMatar (183847) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:16PM (#5139150)
    Microsoft offers their market leading CEO Steve Balmer. When asked about the news, Balmer replied by leaping around screaming "Voters! Voters! Voters!".

    Rumors that Bill Gates will be a Cheyney style puppetmas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H vice-president have not been confirmed.
  • Harmony? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by MountainBoiler (629847) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:17PM (#5139157)
    Isn't this the same person who nearly divided his own company with the Aplle II vs Mac rift?

    This is obviously one who doesn't compromise/deal well with others.

  • by dhovis (303725) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:17PM (#5139158)
    You know you'll just end up voting for "Sieve Lops".

    <DUCKS>

    (I know, I used to own one and the recoginition is better than that)

  • The Flag (Score:2, Funny)

    by farfisa69 (526335)
    He would have all 50 stars changed to little white Apple logos. Then again, maybe it could be Blue Dalmation or Flower Power.

    • Re:The Flag (Score:4, Funny)

      by x136 (513282) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @07:45PM (#5139995) Homepage
      Think about all of the children that would have to relearn the colors of the flag...

      Teacher: "Who can tell me what colors make up our country's flag? Jimmy?"

      Jimmy: "Oooh! Oooh! Red, white, and blue!"

      Teacher: "I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Becky?"

      Becky: "Tangerine, Snow, and Key Lime!"

      Teacher: "Correct!"
  • "I hereby declare that The White House will no longer be boring "beige", it shall be painted "Lickable Blueberry".

    The Apple hoardes debate among themselves whether the country is now just "insanely" better, or "miraculously" better.

  • Not to be confused with http://www.jobsforTHEpresident.org/, as I'd really like to see him get a new one.

    <rimshot />
    • Not to be confused with http://www.jobsforTHEpresident.org/....

      That site had a TOTALLY different meaning during the last president's term. I don't care who we vote for as president, so long as we get Monica as vice president.

  • Then he can run America just like he ran the Macintosh group at Apple!

    Best wishes,
    Mike.

  • by MrLint (519792) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:19PM (#5139182) Journal
    With Steve as president we might be some insanely great leadership, as opposed to the normal insane leadership we have now.
  • iHouse (Score:5, Funny)

    by Big Mark (575945) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:20PM (#5139188)
    If he gets in, won't his first act be to demolish all the important buildings and replace them with curvy, translucent, pastel-coloured plastic contraptions?

    Carrying handles would be useful though. Threat of Al-Qaeda? Just move Washington to the praries, they'll never find them there!

    -Mark
  • Why bother? (Score:5, Funny)

    by SuperMario666 (588666) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:20PM (#5139192)
    It's not like anyone will be able to beat Sharpton anyway.
  • Slogans: (Score:5, Funny)

    by yunfat (200898) <.taran. .at. .mac.com.> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:21PM (#5139199)
    An Apple a day keeps the IRS away.

    Jobs for everyone.

    iAmerica.

    Lets all take acid.
  • I am not sure it would be possible for him to change out of that blank turtlneck and bluejeans... but I can already see the slogans.

    When you vote for Steve, you vote for Jobs.

    Steve Jobs, the iPresident!

  • by glrotate (300695) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:21PM (#5139204) Homepage
    That's the impression given by the Pirates of Silicon Valley movie. Not to mention the fact he's an all around asshole to his employees.
  • by Chester K (145560) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:22PM (#5139210) Homepage
    After all, who could resist attacking another country to show off our nice Blueberry bombers, using our new Raspberry radar technology, and firing off our arsenal of iNuke X 10.2 ICBMs (with leopard print warheads). Military tech has been stuck in the same putrid earthy shades of green and brown for far too long!

    Just gotta wonder how well those translucent plastic helmets will protect the heads of our soldiers....
  • by jmv (93421)
    That'll be nice to watch. Jobs going after everyone waving an Americal flag for copyright/trademark violation. Not that I would mind (being Canadian)
  • by asparagus (29121) <koonceNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:22PM (#5139215) Homepage Journal
    Due to the seperation of church and state.

    Steve cannot be both God and President without violating some part of the constitution.

    Of course, given recent events, that 'problem' can probably be remiedied.
  • by stefanlasiewski (63134) <slashdot@stef a n c o . com> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:22PM (#5139220) Homepage Journal
    Two years after becoming President, Steve Jobs becomes fed up with the bueracracy and leaves suddenly to start up his own country in his Palo Alto Garage.

  • by NanoGator (522640) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:23PM (#5139228) Homepage Journal
    ..a government official who'll break down the tough choices so that the American public will vote on which color they like better.

    *hoping that comment's poke at the iMac isn't too obscure.*
  • slashdotted already (Score:5, Informative)

    by SlightlyMadman (161529) <slightlymadman@noSpAm.slightlymad.net> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:26PM (#5139251) Homepage
    It's mostly images, no wonder it went so fast. Here's the text on the front page:

    Draft Committee to the 'Elect Steve Jobs President of the United States
    We all want a world that is prosperous and sustainable. We have the technology and resources to create such a world. What is lacking are leaders with vision and will. I encourage you to be such a leader and welcome your participation in our campaign.

    It is time that we base our decision-making on the time tested native American idea that all decisions should be made with our seventh generation of descendants in mind and in consultation with our elders. It is time to acknowledge that the earth is our mother and that we must take care of her. It is time to eliminate all weapons of mass destruction from the earth. It is time to insure that all people have access to affordable health care and education.

    It is time for American leaders to work with the Moslem world, China, India, Africa, Russia, Latin America, the European Union and all people's around the world to create the world we want. It is our destiny to play a leadership role in creating a new world.

    We believe Steve Jobs is the man to help us achieve these goals. If you agree, join us, and together we can get it done!

    A Biography of Steve Jobs
    Editorials: 01/19/03 at 17:59:27 PST by aztc

    Editorials Steve Paul Jobs
    Born 1955 Los Altos CA; Evangelic bad boy who, with Steve Wozniak, co-founded Apple Computer Corporation and became a multimillionaire before the age of ...

    Printerfriendly version - A Biography of Steve Jobs Send an e-mail to (26 reads) [ More ] [ 0 comments ]

    Newsletters are archived under News
    News: 01/18/03 at 18:24:03 PST by Admin

    News Newsletters can only be sent by the top level admin. Please submit your plain text newsletter to webmaster@jobsforpresident.org
  • You know what this means, Jim?

    Sporty new uniforms for our troops in Iraq, featuring graphite colored translucent plastics, and army jackets [apple.com] that all include a special pocket for an iPod, with buttons on the sleeves for when convenient control of your music is a matter of life and death!

    I sense a spoof coming on.

  • I don't think anyone who's read Steven Levy's Insanely Great: The Life and Times of Macintosh, the Computer That Changed Everything [amazon.com]
    would consider Jobs presidential material.

    IMHO... the dude's a prick.
  • by BitwizeGHC (145393) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:26PM (#5139261) Homepage
    Jobs probably is probably miles ahead of the other candidates when it comes to foreign policy, particularly the Iraq issue. The Jobs solution? Simple: Oust Saddam, set up a puppet government, rename the country "iRaq", and insist that cartographers color it "lickable raspberry" on all their maps. Not to mention replacing militant Islam with a hip, edgy new "switch" campaign.

    The iRaqis would find themselves embraced by the developed world!
  • Just think how quickly Jobs would overturn the DMCA. He understands technology, at least from a business point of view.

    Apple is avoiding DRM because they know that's what their customers want. As president, he'd know that's what the voters want

    Jason
    ProfQuotes [profquotes.com]
  • Jobs will be the man when it comes to domestic security.

    The jobsforpresident website's so secure I don't even have access to read /index.html!

    (Is this the first time a presidential candidate has been slashdotted?)

  • "I, Joabie-Wan Kenobie, do solemly swear ..."
  • Hrm... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by zod1025 (189215) <zod@OPENBSDmodernwizardry.org minus bsd> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:29PM (#5139288) Homepage
    You know, he might not be a bad president...

    a) he's someone who made something of himself, and wasn't just from a wealthy, powerful family

    b) he's someone that has Vision and can seek it out (even if we might not agree with his Vision, he's definitely got it!)

    c) he's arguably of above-average intelligence... try and say THAT of any of the other candidates!

    If Nader wasn't running, I'd vote for Jobs just because I know that if Jobs won, he would make a decent go of it and maybe even get something real done.
    • Jobs over Nader (Score:5, Insightful)

      by benwaggoner (513209) <ben.waggoner@NosPam.microsoft.com> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @08:46PM (#5140408) Homepage
      Speaking as a respectibly left wing Democrat, I'd vote for Jobs over Nader in a heartbeat. Nader has simply shown zero ability for that kind of a job. When he says there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans, he's either lying, or an idiot. Who is president MATTERS, no matter what he says.

      Leadership requires the right mix of idealism and pragmatism, and Nader badly fails that test. If he actually WON the presidency, he'd be disasterous at it. And since even he knows that he isn't going to win, running mainly makes him just the Perot-of-the-left, working as a spoiler to get Bush reelected.
  • by wahay (12517) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:29PM (#5139290) Homepage
    We've gotta shush this now before it's too late. If Bill Gates hears about it he'll spend billions to run just so he can keep up.
  • ...there is a "groundswell of support" for Jobs as pres, doesn't make it a good idea. After all, Sharpton also has a groundswell of support.
  • Great... (Score:2, Flamebait)

    by mbogosian (537034)
    ...that's exactly what we need: another fanatical tyrant for a president.
  • by I am Jack's username (528712) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:30PM (#5139308)
    "It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."
    "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
    "No", said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
    "Odd", said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
    "I did", said Ford. "It is."
    "So", said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
    "It honestly doesn't occur to them", said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
    "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
    "Oh yes", said Ford with a shrug, "of course".
    "But", said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
    "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
    "What?"
    "I said", said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"
    "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."
    Ford shrugged again.
    "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them." he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." - Douglas Adams, So long, and thanks for all the fish, chapter 36, 1984

    Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?
    Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!
    Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.
    ...
    Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us. [murmurs]
    Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.
    Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
    Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away. [Kang and Kodos laugh out loud] - The Simpsons, 4F02

    "It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it." - Eugene Debs

  • Bugger that (Score:3, Insightful)

    by houseofmore (313324) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:31PM (#5139311) Homepage
    Vote Linus!
  • ...is that it's getting harder and harder to tell what's a put-on. More and more things I thought were parody at first turn out to be real.

    Anyway, say what you will about Jobs, but he certainly got a LOT more done in his 20's and 30's than our current President, and by all accounts wasn't that much more of a jerk.

    And Jobs's rescue of Apple certainly shows that he has an extraordinary ability to balance short and long term needs. Given what they've had to work with, technically, from Motorola for the last few years, can you believe that Apple is not only extant, but profitable?

    Anyway, I'd probably vote for him over a fair number of other politicians. While we know a lot of his youthful indiscretions, I think that's just because he's been famous for so long. I imagine our previous two presidents were just as wild in their youth. The real question is how good a job who he is now could do, and I'd say the evidence is promising, or at least intriguing.

    For all the "Jobs is a visionary" rhetoric, running a company on a knifes-edge like Apple has been for the last half decade implies a good ability to roll with the punches, and be flexible when appropriate.
    • by goombah99 (560566) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @07:10PM (#5139690)
      Heck this has been going on longer than post-irony set in. I remember my amusement when I first heard ronald reagan was a presidential candidate. Well he'll never win I thought, what a joke. After he won I was in disbelief, and realized I was not the only one when I saw a bathroom grafitii "reagan...without a cause", an obvious riff on the james dean movie title.

      Later after watching "back to the future" there is a scene where marty tries to prove he's fromt he future. The professor asks "okay future boy, whos president." MArty answeres "ronald reagan" thus assuring the professor he's a lunatic: "Oh and who's the treasury secratary 'jack benny?'.

      Later in the same movie, the professor is amazed by the video camera "a portable movie production studio....Great scott! no wonder your politicians have to be actors!". A banal observation unless you think of in the context of it dawning on a person from the 1950's.

      So will we all be thinkng "great scott, no wonder all your presidents have to be CEO's of consumer products" when a visitor from the future comes back and tells us about president Jobs?
  • by sammy.lost-angel.com (316593) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:32PM (#5139336) Homepage
    I would say I probably agree with Jobs moral and political views more than our current leader's (he's liberal, and he's a vegetarian (which speaks highly of morality issues)). But let's think about this for one little second... he has absolutely NO EXPERIANCE in politics. None. Don't throw your votes away on this, find a real canidate and support he/she when they run.

    He would probably tell other countries that they would have to wait until the next Presidential Expo to get all of his foreign policy regulations, and not disclose to the public any information until said expos. Bah!
  • by mccormick (40772) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:33PM (#5139343)
    I would vote for him if he would be willing to accept a yearly sallery of $1; infact, he'd have to demand it. It's not like he doesn't already have enough going on, with Apple and Pixar as it is.
  • by Jaysyn (203771) <jaysyn+slashdot@NoSPAm.gmail.com> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:36PM (#5139377) Homepage Journal
    ... the US is already run by big companies as it is, lets just go ahead & finish the job....

    Jaysyn
  • by Vellmont (569020) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:47PM (#5139468) Homepage
    So when does someone putting up a website equate to their being a "groundswell"? Let's do a quick google search and see who else has a groundswell.

    John Cusak [cusackforpresident.com]
    Pete Rose" [peteforpresident.com]
    They Might Be Giants [dementia.org]
    Cthulu [cthulhu.org]

    And that's who I found in just a few minutes search.
  • by brocktune (512373) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @06:57PM (#5139553) Homepage
    Steve Jobs. Insanely Great.

    Steve Jobs. Vote Different.

  • by WIAKywbfatw (307557) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @07:15PM (#5139745) Journal
    Steve wouldn't want the job unless he could be president number 0.

    For those of you that don't know, when Apple got round to issuing employee numbers, Steve Jobs was pretty peeved that he couldn't be employee number 1 as Steve Wozniak had already nabbed that priviledge for himself. Unable to convince Wozniak to change, Jobs took employee number 0 rather than be stuck behind Wozniak with the employee number 2 tag.
  • by DarkHelmet (120004) <mark.seventhcycle@net> on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @07:58PM (#5140068) Homepage
    ... does that automatically make Ellen Feiss the drug czar?
  • by rtphokie (518490) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @09:05PM (#5140523)
    They make really good computers, cant we just stop there? Isn't that good enough? Do we need to build a tranluscent plastic alter?
  • by r00tarded (553054) on Wednesday January 22, 2003 @11:16PM (#5141159)
    The economy is in the shitter and techies have spoken, what they said was "We want more *jobs*!"

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