Coffee Shop Refuses an Order Until the Customer Removes His AirPods (zdnet.com) 418
At a Chicago coffee shop, "the cashier wouldn't take my order until I took off my AirPod!" complained a patron named Kevin. "And it was only in one ear! Am I the asshole here?"
ZDNet's "Technically Incorrect" column shares the answer he got from the "Salty Waitress" etiquette columnist at a foodie site called The Takeout: She replied, in part: "I am trying hard here to give you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you were in the middle of a very important phone call/podcast/guitar riff that could not be paused for the 30 or so seconds it takes to order a cup of coffee. In which case, you very politely step aside to conclude your business and then order your coffee...."
The Salty Waitress was undeterred in her resistance. She explained that if Kevin wanted to embrace technology, he could push off to Starbucks or Dunkin', order via an app and pick up his coffee without the burden of any human interaction. She then warmed to her theme, mustering a fine froth: "Because that's the thing, sweetie pie. THE CASHIER IS A HUMAN BEING! JUST LIKE YOU! Their role in your life may be temporary and functional, but they've got feelings and hopes and dreams and aspirations. And like you (probably) they would like your full and undivided attention while you ask them to perform a service for you."
She explained that this is true for all service workers and should, indeed, work both ways.
I was glad she said that, as I've had two visits to AT&T stores where the salespeople were wearing a single AirPod and listening to their own music.
ZDNet's "Technically Incorrect" column shares the answer he got from the "Salty Waitress" etiquette columnist at a foodie site called The Takeout: She replied, in part: "I am trying hard here to give you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you were in the middle of a very important phone call/podcast/guitar riff that could not be paused for the 30 or so seconds it takes to order a cup of coffee. In which case, you very politely step aside to conclude your business and then order your coffee...."
The Salty Waitress was undeterred in her resistance. She explained that if Kevin wanted to embrace technology, he could push off to Starbucks or Dunkin', order via an app and pick up his coffee without the burden of any human interaction. She then warmed to her theme, mustering a fine froth: "Because that's the thing, sweetie pie. THE CASHIER IS A HUMAN BEING! JUST LIKE YOU! Their role in your life may be temporary and functional, but they've got feelings and hopes and dreams and aspirations. And like you (probably) they would like your full and undivided attention while you ask them to perform a service for you."
She explained that this is true for all service workers and should, indeed, work both ways.
I was glad she said that, as I've had two visits to AT&T stores where the salespeople were wearing a single AirPod and listening to their own music.
Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Informative)
Yeah, this is ridiculous. I listen to a lot of podcasts, so I have an earbud in one ear most of the time I’m in public. I pause it before approaching a register or whatever, but usually don’t pull the bud out, and it hasn’t been a problem.
Some people just really get off on judging others.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
How would you know the person actually isn't hard of hearing and needs assistive devices to help them place the order. Stop judging and do your job. If they clearly can't hear you and you have something important to ask, ask them to remove the earbuds.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Informative)
My mother's hearing aids are practically invisible. I don't think you'd be able to see them at all if you were face to face with her. Also, they are connected to her iPhone via Bluetooth so, for all I know, she might be listening to music all the time. In fact, that might explain why they don't seem to be very effective.
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If you are using an earbud for hearing assistance. Feel free to point it out to the cashier. Just like how a blind person may ask for braille menu or ask for it to read for them. If you are using earbuds for hearing assistance, then you are not that concerned on letting people know you are hard of hearing, as most hearing aids, and other tools for that job are also hard to see on the person.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
How would you know if the subject is actually paying attention to what you are saying?
How about saying "How can I help you?" If they respond appropriately then maybe it's a sign it is safe to proceed with the transaction.
Re: (Score:3)
Seems fine. Ask in a normal voice, "can I help you?" If they don't respond appropriately, repeat. If still no response, serve the next customer. If they object, tell them to go to the back of the line and try again without the ear bud. You might lose that customer, but keep everyone else in line.
Treat others how you would like to be treated (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Informative)
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Amazingly, these people seem offended I didn't want to stand and wait for them to attend their more-important-than-now chat.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
Regardless of whether or not he was listening to something at the time, it's rude to keep essentially a headset on while you talk to someone in "real life". Just as it's rude to have your phone conversation directly in someones face. So yes, the guy ordering the coffee is most definitely the asshole here, as he says.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:4, Interesting)
Regardless of whether or not he was listening to something at the time, it's rude to keep essentially a headset on while you talk to someone in "real life". Just as it's rude to have your phone conversation directly in someones face. So yes, the guy ordering the coffee is most definitely the asshole here, as he says.
And yet people with mobile phone headsets do that all the time. As long as they can hear me I don't really care about whether they have some thingamabob in one of their ears or not and anybody who gets incandescent with rage over that is just looking for something to get angry over so that they can get their daily adrenaline fix. If that's what they're after they can read the Daily Mail while consuming their breakfast cereal and and get angry over some made up story about a police officer who refused to rescue a drowning child because of health and safety rules. I generally draw the line only at headset wearers who pause a conversation or transaction to answer a phone call. Anybody who does that forfeits their place in the line in favour of the next person behind them and if they don't like it they can join the back of the queue once they finish their phone call.
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Anybody who does that forfeits their place in the line in favour of the next person behind them and if they don't like it they can join the back of the queue once they finish their phone call.
Which in a busy restaurant should be the default behavior for anyone who can't keep up, it's just common courtesy. Like knowing what you want to buy by reading the menu before you reach the counter.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
It appears that you've never ordered at the counter from a fast food joint with a drivethrough. Because I have never once seen the employee remove their headset while taking my order, and have frequently had them taking drive through orders at the same time as they take mine.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:4, Informative)
You mean the device they need to wear to do their job? It is rude of them to take an order while serving you but outside of that you're comparing two very different things here.
Re: (Score:3)
We're not talking about interrupting music/podcasts/whatever. We're talking about efficiency: You getting your product faster. Would you prefer waiting longer in the drive thru or at the counter because of the decrease in efficiency? There could even be an economic impact (lost jobs, etc.)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Interesting)
Bingo.
I'll go to tell or ask my wife something, and I'll just dead stop and look at her until she notices I quit talking and look up from her screen. She'll say "and?" and I'll reply with "I'm not continuing until I have your attention.
She claims she can look at her phone and still hear me, but I'll ask her to repeat back what I said and she only can repeat part of it. I don't think people realize just how bad they are at multi-tasking, especially when it's in the realm of tech gadget and another person at the same time.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Funny)
I must have air pods on my eyes, did you write $17.76 for one large coffee?
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:4, Funny)
Seriously, how tiny are your hands that you can only hold a single earbud in them? To imply your arm can't reach both sides of your head also indicates you are less than 2 years old and probably shouldn't be wearing earbuds anyway. (Some obvious exceptions for people who don't have typical bilateral symmetric human anatomy.)
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Funny)
It does? You can't pop out both with one hand? Has Apple designed these to require both hands to operate them? Maybe you're inserting them wrong.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
A cashier or a barista is in a service industry their role is "the help" in this situation. They have no right and no reason to expect anything they have to say to be important to the customer other the phrases "What can I get you today?", "that will be $$.C please." and "Your order is ready."
And this is exactly the attitude that Salty Waitress is fighting.
No, the cashier or barista is not just a service robot named "the help". They are human beings.
Let him leave. [Re:Was he dividing his attention?] (Score:3)
Well, copping an attitude is a good way to ensure that someone will not be patronizing the establishment in the future...
Good. A guy who is rude and contemptuous to a waitress or barista is almost certainly rude and contemptuous to other people as well. Having them stop coming in will definitely improve the atmosphere in the place, and very likely increase business.
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Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
It's possible he wasn't listening to anything. In that case ALL of this is in the head of the cashier. The assumption here is a little crazy here. He should pause whatever to deal with the transaction but it's not clear from the details here if he did or didn't do that.
While I understand that the younger generation of up-and-coming Professional Attention Whores on social media can tend to shine a narcissistic spotlight on the problem of grandstanding for fucks sake, I highly doubt we would be sitting here discussing this story if said AirPod wearing customer was not acting like damn near every other earbud wearing hipster.
Go ahead. Go up to the next 10 people wearing earbuds and see if they give you their undivided attention. Better yet, do it in a hipster coffee shop t
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So what you are saying is that you have no evidence to support your position, you're just knocking down a strawman.
Re:Was he dividing his attention? (Score:5, Insightful)
It's a matter of courtesy, not of music booming in your ears. When I talk to someone I remove my headset, when I walk inside I take off my hat, when I talk to someone I look them in the eyes (for a time, not the creepy intense stare), and when someone talks to me I look at them as well. I could skip all of these from a practical perspective, but I consider it discourteous to do so. I also avoid burping in someone's face should that need clarification.
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Whatever goes on with airpods is all in their heads.
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Re:Missing the point here. Let's resolve this:. (Score:4, Insightful)
The same thing happened with bluetooth headsets. When the initial "look ma, no hands" wore off and it became poor manners to wander around with one constantly in your ear, refusing to take it off for anything, most people stopped. Now it's a useful visual marker of an asshole.
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Other people should not do this because I think it looks stupid.
Guess what? You look stupid too holding up the line for a non-issue.
Etiquette (Score:4, Funny)
Aaaah. Etiquette. And technology related. /. is all about. The impact of techology on my daily life.
This is what
Finally an article on where the rubber hits the road!
(to be clear: I actually did enjoy this article but a bit of sarcasm is so very /., no?)
Re: Etiquette (Score:3, Funny)
no
Re: Etiquette (Score:2)
Imagine the above with sarcasm tags :)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Etiquette (Score:5, Interesting)
Good! (Score:5, Insightful)
Headphone/earbud-wearing fuckwits are a pain in the ass. The ones who are on the phone doubly so, because they're trying to juggle their phone call and their ordering, in the gaps between the other. It takes longer, and it's disgustingly rude.
If you want to talk to a human right in front of you, take out your fucking ear plugs and give them your full attention for a moment.
Re: (Score:3)
I just stare them until they realise their transaction isn't going to finish until they look at me and interact with me.
Fuck 'em. Don't start a conversation with me, until your previous conversation is finished.
Re:Good! (Score:5, Informative)
Most retailers demand cashiers have interactions with each and every customer - greet them. ask if they found everything, mention the promotion of the day, and thank them at the end of the transaction. Failure to do so can lead to dismissal.
So, don't blame the person behind the till for doing their job. Most of them are not all that keen about having to attempt interactions with miserable customers like you either.
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That is all fine; You greet the customer. If they respond you make small talk, if they just smile and gensture to their phone on headset you stick to business. "What will have", "that will be $$.C please", "There you go, all set have a nice day"
People working in a service industry should provide the customer with the exeperience they are looking for. Some of them want small talk, some want just get done, some are multi-tasking, etc.
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First of I certainly am used to my boss doing other things while interacting with me. I bet most people are unless your boss is the assistant manager at the fast food shop. Do we all appreciate undivided attention now and then; of course but we often don't get it and most of us are not insecure enough to need it all the time; as long we get some acknowledgement that our message was received and mostly understood.
Second my boss is not there to serve me; the roll is exactly backwards actually. My boss absolu
Re:Good! (Score:5, Insightful)
Fuck 'em. Don't start a conversation with me, until your previous conversation is finished.
Are you the cashier that tries to have a conversation with everyone as if they've come to see you and not get whatever shit they need and get the fuck out? Are you that starved of attention in your personal life that you must demand it from captive strangers?
Are you the customer who tries to treat employees of the stores you visit as equipment, machinery, or furniture? Millennia of social norm has established convention that when you encounter another person, you greet them. Traditionally, you inquire of their health. To skip these steps of human interaction, and worse to refuse to engage in them is almost inexcusably rude. Unless you have a clinical issue precluding human contact, you're needlessly being dehumanizing. Which is bad. Because making other people feel bad is bad. Because that's antisocial. Which is bad. Because we're a society.
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Absolutely. Kids these days have no manners.
Basic etiquette (Score:3)
If you order something, putting your phone away and removing headphones should not be something you even question.
That being said, it has happened to me as well that my mind was so wrapped up in something I barely managed to interact. I just don't go bitching about it afterward like it was someone else's fault.
An exception I make, though, is when they want to see my ticket on public transportation. Since that is in essence a request to prove that I'm not an antisocial dillhole (or criminal even), I don't feel very obliged to cooperate beyond the strictly necessary. I know it sucks for the person in question, but THEY are interrupting ME, not vice versa.
Re:Basic etiquette (Score:5, Informative)
An exception I make, though, is when they want to see my ticket on public transportation. Since that is in essence a request to prove that I'm not an antisocial dillhole (or criminal even), I don't feel very obliged to cooperate beyond the strictly necessary. I know it sucks for the person in question, but THEY are interrupting ME, not vice versa.
They aren't asking you to prove that you're not an antisocial dillhole. It's their job to make sure you paid your fare and you're going out of your way to make their job worse. Congratulations on proving that you are, in fact, an antisocial dillhole.
Re: (Score:2)
Yes, and I don't appreciate the fact that they thus insinuate I may not be paying for a service I use.
Re:Basic etiquette (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Basic etiquette (Score:4, Insightful)
No they are treating like a criminal, guilty until proven innocent. Its like the box stores that check your receipts on the way out. Once in a while I still go into a wallmart when I need something right away. Its insulting to be treated like a shoplifting suspect when leaving the store. Its one of the reasons I rarely shop there. I tell that person you be sure to let your manager know this exchange right here is insulting to me the customer and its EXACTLY why Amazon gets the bulk of my business.
I don't know if they do. The fact they are being paid to treat me the customer badly does not change the fact they are doing so. Making it a job that nobody wants to do and expressing my displeasure is about the only means other than voting with the wallet (which I am doing as much as possible) to express my displeasure and maybe effect change.
I have had them ask for ID while using a CC and not purching any controlled substances at Wally World too - that are not even allowed to do so per their merchant agreements with my card issuer. What was I suppose to do just bend over and take it? Or make them get the damn manger?, just walk away? I have done both. The manager of course was not thrilled and wanted to see my ID too, but I reminder her of the merchant agreement and she knew I was right and dropped it at that point. "our policy is to id all our.." me "well should call citi bank customer support and report your policy?" "ok ring him up"
I try not go around being a dick, but if you treat me like a dick, that tells me you want to be treated like a dick too
A title (Score:2)
Welll... (Score:5, Insightful)
Yes Kevin, you are the asshole
Re: (Score:2)
Glad we sorted that out!
Re:Welll... (Score:5, Funny)
Anytime you have to ask "Am I the asshole here?", the answer is yes.
Have seen similar things (Score:4, Interesting)
In line at the grocery store and someone's holding out their phone in front of them so everyone around can hear their conversation, using one hand to slowly put one item at a time into the bag, as if they had all the time in the world and they were the only ones around.
You won't die in the few seconds it takes to remove the overpriced gadgets and place your order or pay for your bill. If it's that much of an inconvenience to give them your full attention for those few seconds, you probably have other issues.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Have seen similar things (Score:5, Interesting)
You're at the grocery store and the person in front of you have a full cart. They've emptied their cart and while the cashier is ringing them through, they've struck up a good conversation. Not so bad so far right? Except, when it comes time to pay, THAT'S when they decide to search through their massive purse to find their tiny little wallet to pull out their credit card to pay. All the while saying something like, "Oh my gawd, I can never find anything in here. Just give me a second, so sorry, bear with me" and so on.
Sometimes I wanna ask them, "In all the time you were just standing in line, it never occurred to you to proactively get your credit card ready? No? You figured THIS one instance was the one time you'd magically reach into that cavern you call a purse and just find your wallet and card in one smooth motion?"
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3)
Whoosh parrots in Isle #1 (Score:2)
Satire mistaken for news, not the first time, not the last time.
Education and technology (Score:5, Interesting)
New technology should not supersede good manners.
If you are being attended, pay attention to the person you are interacting with. Wearing airpods (or simultaneously talk on the phone, unfortunately very often) is a clear sign of not caring at all about the other person. Heck, even checking your phone is a clear sign of disrespect and lack of interest.
We have a serious problem as a society, since this is more and more common because gadgets suck our attention. Kudos to the cashier.
Re: (Score:2)
I'd support a stop-work action on the part of the cashier.
You want to prioritise a phone call/text over dealing with the cashier? Go to the back of the queue.
Re: (Score:3)
And you obviously have some undeserved superiority complex, hence the racially charged insult "till monkey". So it is not at all surprising to hear you side with "kevin".
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Re:Fuck that. (Score:5, Informative)
Re: (Score:3)
And if you won't extend basic courtesies to the people you interact with, don't expect any of them to want your business. Or your presence. Or to pull you from a burning vehicle. Or turn up at your funeral.
Exactly... read a few stories on notalwaysright.com. It's only the big corporate chain businesses that put up with assholes, because there's usually some policy from disconnected management saying they have to. Any business where the actual owner is present on premises, or the managers have actual authority, will kick those assholes out very quickly.
Why is this even an issue? (Score:2)
There are bluetooth jammers, use them.
Re: (Score:2)
I agree. The customers should be listening to the indie-folk music being piped in anyway. It is really edgy and cool and non-threatening.
Re: (Score:2)
No shirt, no shoes, no service (Score:3)
Anyone remember those signs?
A business can impose any restriction it likes (except for discrimination by race, sex, etc) on who it chooses to serve. If you don't like it, the proper remedy is to go somewhere else.
Etiquette (Score:2)
Whether or not the actions taken by the cashier were right, it does ask what the new etiquette should be, going forward?
If I have my ear phone in, I’ll often take one out, as a form of courtesy, but this article does make me wonder whether taking my headphone out completely would be better?
Annoyances exist on both side of the interaction. Sometimes it is the waitress more interested in talking to her colleague, than paying attention to the customer. In others it is the customer treating the staff no b
Re: (Score:2)
Losing earbuds is a problem for many of us. It can be awkward to back them away. Others of us may be alert for time sensitive calls.
A sign at a hipster coffee house would be one thing, and a courteous _invitation_ to remove technology would be one matter. But demanding social interaction with a customer who has communicated their desire for the product you sell is unwise business. That's one of the cases where yes, one should leave a factual review and contact the manager or the corporate office of a franch
Re: (Score:3)
Because 80% of the population didn't walk around with headphones glued to their head for every waking minute of the day when the Walkman came out. That's only happened in the past few years.
Rule of reciprocity (Score:3)
Both are wrong (Score:3)
The cashier's actions were also inappropriate with regards to how a customer should be treated.
Re: (Score:3)
There is no evidence that the customer was distracted.
She's an etiquette columnist. (Score:3)
shares the answer he got from the "Salty Waitress" etiquette columnist
Everyone that isn't a self-centered asshole knows it's good etiquette to remove their headphones when interacting with another person. While they could be off and not distracting you, they don't know that, and you're expecting their attention while they're left wondering if you're giving yours. I can sort of understand why an etiquette columnist and a tech junkie may not see eye to eye on this, but the etiquette columnist isn't telling you what's appealing to other tech junkies, you already know that. You wanted to know what the average person will think, and she told you. That you disagree and decided to rant on the internet about disagreeing with her only reinforces the answer: Yes, you are the asshole. On the AT&T comment, you always have a right to act as the barista did and ask them to remove the headphone or choose not to deal with them. And yes, they'd be the asshole for refusing and demanding you deal with them anyway.
Perhaps (Score:3)
I find it unlikely they used the presence of an ear-piece as the sole reason for refusal of service.
My guess is he was on the phone.
Here, if you are standing line to order or receive your food and are actively talking on your phone, they will skip you and go the the next person in line behind you.
They even have signs up telling you of this ahead of time.
They're not about to try and have a conversation with you when you can't be bothered to pay attention in the first place.
Nor do I blame them. Having to ask you something more than once because you're on the phone with someone else is a waste of their time ( and everyone else's )
People get pissy when they get skipped, until every single person in line points out the sign and tells them to STFU.
I disagree (Score:4, Insightful)
Pausing your music, podcast, or whatever: yes, basic good manners. Essential.
Removing your ear widgets: no, not relevant. You're just going to wind up juggling them along with your money and order, making things worse rather than better.
As long as you hear and interact with the person you're speaking with, it doesn't matter what's on your ears. Anyway, those might be hearing aids.
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
A doctor would never prescribe airpods for a patient with hearing loss and self-diagnosed illnesses aren't covered by the ADA.
So...... (Score:3)
Re:Hearing aids (Score:4, Interesting)
Indeed. There are some ear pods (Nuheara IQBuds - they look a bit like Apple ipods, but somewhat clunkier and black, thus more obtrusive) that are indeed actual hearing aids (not that great in my experience, but 1/30 the price of actual hearing aids).
Yes, they are Bluetooth capable, but their major function is as hearing aids.
She's on thin ice here.
OTOH There are many cases of people being complete dicks - both the buyer and seller - of being on the phone and trying to transact. It's definitely rude.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Whatever happened to "the customer is always right"?
And like you (probably) they would like your full and undivided attention while you ask them to perform a service for you.
As a customer, I don't care if they give me their full and undivided attention, so long as they provide the service efficiently. In many places there is background music playing which everyone has to listen to anyway so having some music in the background doesn't usually impair someone's efficiency.
And that's as a customer, who's paying for a service to be performed.
As a provider of a service, i give a lot more leeway simply because they are the client and
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Please don't say that if it's not true though. Actually disabled people have enough trouble with people doubting their disability as it is.
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I agree. I hate it when the common people get uppity. I mean, I make six figures programming websites. I can't be bothered to interact with coffee fetchers. The good news is that when we are living on Mars we won't need to deal with this stuff because our stores will all be automated.
Re:Yeah, no (Score:4, Funny)
You are right. That is how I approach dating too.
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Can you deduct it from your taxes as a business expense?
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Not sure. You should ask her when she comes home tonight.
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True, and as soon as you're capable of engaging in one, I will happily do so. If you are not capable of hearing me properly or if there is a pretty good chance that the conversation leads to me making the wrong coffee and having to dump it because you can't understand my return questions and answer them incorrectly, I'm better off if you are not my customer.
Re:Yeah, no (Score:5, Informative)
Re: (Score:2)
I had a cashier recently refuse to honor the labeled, on-shelf price in MA, because I wouldn't sign up to their loyalty program. She lied to my face, and claimed they had no store card to override it, at which point I grabbed the manager, knowing she was lying, and got him to correct her and put in the card.
But I SHOULDN'T have to argue with your cashier. Frankly, if your store pressures customers that way, I ought to get it for free, like the MA law on price mismatches.
Here's the thing. You can HAVE a loya
Re: (Score:2)
Yes, Kevin, you are the asshole. At least three times over.
Once because you did not read the definition you quoted that sets out "any store sign" as something beyond and outside the set of advertised prices.
Again because you did not read a few definitions later in the law you quoted:
Yet again because you think the definitions you quoted establish some o
Re: (Score:2)
It feels good until you realize you just did property damage in the felony range, and you've got no job, a bail fee, a court hearing, and your landlord is going to keep your security deposit.
Re: Yeah, no (Score:2)
I wouldnâ(TM)t bet on remaining employed; but with Apple charging $90 to replace a lost or damaged AirPod pro; and the retail price of a new pair at $250 your odds of getting a felony out of that seem tepid unless it was the DAâ(TM)s son or something.
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Put the airpod in the coffee, f**k that person. Simple HUMAN transaction f**k this 'custom' is right bulls**t
Yes that old saying. The employee is always right......wait a sec.
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"I remember dating a girl once who would constantly do that while we were talking or sitting at a restaurant eating. She didn't intend to show disinterest."
Oh, right. LOL.
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And, for the record, I always take out my earpiece when it's my turn at the cashier. Normally, I'm talking to my wife because that's what I do. I just tell her "OK, I'm up, I love you, gotta go." and stick the thing in my pocket.
Just because everyone else is an asshole doesn't mean I have to be one, too.
BUT--when I live in a society where "everyone else is an asshole", this just tells me I'm out of step; I'm the one who's weird, not everyone else.
So, if you think people are being rude, the polite solutio
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Yes, exactly. This seems like people making up another reason to be offended. If I walk up to the counter with 1 headphone in and can't hear you or don't respond, yeah, that's rude. If I walk up and conduct my transaction exactly as I would have with zero headphones, why do you care? 20XX is both the age of don't judge, let people do their thing and simultaneously the age of people must do exactly as you think or they're entitled assholes.
Just back off and leave people alone, ok? There's important stuf