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Apple Idle

Russia Takes Down Steve Jobs Memorial After Apple's Tim Cook Comes Out 430

An anonymous reader writes Citing the need to abide by a law combating "gay propaganda," a memorial dedicated to the late Apple founder Steve Jobs has been torn down. This comes on the heels of new CEO Tim Cook coming out as gay. "In Russia, gay propaganda and other sexual perversions among minors are prohibited by law," ZEFS (a Russian group of companies that originally erected the statue) said, noting that the memorial had been "in an area of direct access for young students and scholars". "After Apple CEO Tim Cook publicly called for sodomy, the monument was taken down to abide to the Russian federal law protecting children from information promoting denial of traditional family values."
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Russia Takes Down Steve Jobs Memorial After Apple's Tim Cook Comes Out

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  • Terrible (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:20PM (#48305081)

    After Apple CEO Tim Cook publicly called for sodomy

    I know this is terrible and all, but as someone completely unaffected by this (not an apple fanboy, russian or gay) I find some kind of weird surreal humour in the whole thing.

    Mr Putin says there is no discrimination against gay people in Russia and the law was needed only to protect young people

    Like, how do you even reach this point of reasoning.

    • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Insightful)

      by MozeeToby ( 1163751 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:23PM (#48305105)

      I know I turned gay when I heard Tim Cook came out! Wait... that's not how human sexuality works.

      • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Funny)

        by Payden K. Pringle ( 3483599 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:27PM (#48305145)

        Then how does it work? Please cite sources.

        • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Funny)

          by houstonbofh ( 602064 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:29PM (#48305173)
          Aperently it starts with a pizza delivery, according to may documentaries on the subject... Bom chicka bow wow... :)
        • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Funny)

          by Delarth799 ( 1839672 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @06:06PM (#48305521)
          You are first attacked by a flock of gays and if one of them bites you there is a 45% chance of being infected. With no known antidote upwards of 90% of all those infected turn into The Gay and attempt to turn others.
          • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Informative)

            by cayenne8 ( 626475 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @06:57PM (#48305883) Homepage Journal

            You are first attacked by a flock of gays and if one of them bites you there is a 45% chance of being infected. With no known antidote upwards of 90% of all those infected turn into The Gay and attempt to turn others.

            I don't think the bite thing is how it works, that's zombies.

            I think it works by if you "suck one dick" and then, well, you're gay from then on.

            :)

            • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Funny)

              by Pfhorrest ( 545131 ) on Tuesday November 04, 2014 @01:31AM (#48307597) Homepage Journal

              No I thought it was like vampires where first they have to drain your dick and then you have to drink from theirs to be converted to a gay.

              That's why I'm only bisexual. I sucked his dick but he didn't suck mine, and I've since only sucked the dicks of guys who hadn't sucked mine, or had my dick sucked by guys who I hadn't sucked, so I remain perpetually on the verge between the straight world and the gay. I'm like Gay Blade.

        • by MrKaos ( 858439 )

          Then how does it work? Please cite sources.

          Please refer to Apples UI source code.

        • +5 Funny? I was actually serious.

          "However, to date there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological etiology for homosexuality." [psychiatry.org]

          Saying that's not how it works implies you know how it works. Please cite sources.

          I love how hilarity comes out of misinterpreted comments on the interwebs. It's lovely. I now see the humor in my comment. Still, Please cite sources.

          • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Interesting)

            by Beeftopia ( 1846720 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @10:14PM (#48306865)

            "However, to date there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological etiology for homosexuality."

            A simple thought experiment to see if homosexuality is a choice: If it really is a choice, try being gay for a week. Try engaging in gay physical intimacy with another man.

            Q.E.D.

            Caveat: For a bisexual, this won't be a problem. For a heterosexual, it will be extremely difficult if not impossible. I suspect those who believe homosexuality is a choice are probably bisexuals.

            • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

              Your thought experiment is fruitless because there is no discernible way to tell if people could choose because they are bisexual or because sexuality is a choice. Or that if they can't "choose", if it's because it's not a choice, or if it's because of their psychology regarding the issue regarding any of the possible factors that make humans choose what they choose growing up.

              In other words, the thought experiment is pointless without the very information that quote says we don't have.

              Humans psychology is

              • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Insightful)

                by jeremyp ( 130771 ) on Tuesday November 04, 2014 @06:07AM (#48308367) Homepage Journal

                You're overthinking it.

                I'm heterosexual. I cannot choose to be sexually attracted to other men, I'm just not attracted to them. Whether this is caused by psychological reasons, the chemical environment in my mother's womb, or genetic factors is irrelevant. I cannot choose.

                It should be pointed out that the choice thing is really a red herring. If homosexuality were a choice, that would still be no reason to persecute gay people.

          • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Informative)

            by Stephan Schulz ( 948 ) <schulz@eprover.org> on Tuesday November 04, 2014 @03:13AM (#48307885) Homepage

            Saying that's not how it works implies you know how it works.

            Not true. There are many things of which I know how they don't work without knowing how they work. Before the detection of nuclear fusion, we didn't know how the sun was heated. But we did know that it was not a chemical reaction (not enough fuel for the time it had been burning). I don't know how Google indexes keywords. But I do know they are not looking them up via sequential search (too fast for that). I don't know what the annoying traffic light on my way to work is triggered by, but I know its not telepathy - or I wouldn't be standing there forever each day. And so on. Indeed, that's how science works - you formulate hypotheses and then refute them one-by-one. If you can't refute a reasonable one, that's your tentative model of reality.

          • by mjm1231 ( 751545 )

            Saying that's not how it works implies you know how it works.

            That's not how logic works.

          • http://www.amazon.com/Biologic... [amazon.com]
            "Homosexuality in its myriad forms has been scientifically documented in more than 450 species of mammals, birds, reptiles, insects, and other animals worldwide. Biological Exuberance is the first comprehensive account of the subject, bringing together accurate, accessible, and nonsensationalized information. Drawing upon a rich body of zoological research spanning more than two centuries, Bruce Bagemihl shows that animals engage in all types of nonreproductive sexual behavi

            • Well that was an amazingly detailed post. Thank you. If I had mod points and could use them, you'd get them.

              Overall, after reading all of that along with what you yourself have said, it seems that you are saying the assertion that it's not a choice is baseless, but regardless of whether it's a choice or not, the more important issue is our acceptance of homosexuals.

              I agree with that. I'm personally of the mind that homosexuality is wrong (that's my personal moral choice), but that they should be treated no

      • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Funny)

        by Gliscameria ( 2759171 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:40PM (#48305277)
        I for one do do whatever statues tell me to do.
      • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Funny)

        by Rinikusu ( 28164 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @06:08PM (#48305535)

        I'm not gay, but my boyfriend sure as shit is.

    • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Insightful)

      by MightyMartian ( 840721 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:29PM (#48305169) Journal

      Because you're the autocratic ruler of a backward nation where a healthy percentage of the population still believes the Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a historical document.

      Since the time of Peter the Great, Russia has been an odd mix of backwards regressive state with a shiny veneer of modern technocratic government.

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      I don't know. Ask members of the GOP. It is the same logic that says allowing gay marriage will mean fewer traditional marriages.
    • Like, how do you even reach this point of reasoning.

      Hurrrr I ride a hoers!

    • Like, how do you even reach this point of reasoning.

      Ladies and gentlemen...

      This... is Chewbacca. [wikipedia.org]

    • Re:Terrible (Score:5, Insightful)

      by AK Marc ( 707885 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:55PM (#48305431)
      The humor is that by that reckoning, they'd need to tear down the Lincoln memorial if Obama came out gay. The idea that a future holder of the same job should have any relation to the past (and dead) holders of the same position. They might as well make Apple illegal in Russia, as the CEO is gay, so all Apple products call for sodomy.
  • Because (Score:5, Insightful)

    by MouseR ( 3264 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:21PM (#48305083) Homepage

    Putin on a horse half naked is not gay.

  • by Noah Haders ( 3621429 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:22PM (#48305089)

    ... the government sodomizes you!

  • Res ipsa loquitur.

    Glad we finally put that one to rest.

    Thank you, Russian oligarchs, putocrats, and dictators.

    Now that we've settled that, next up on /.... who's smarter, Hillary Clinton or Martha Bush. Hint: there's no right answer.

    E

  • By the same logic, I may well be arrested for sodomy because one of my distant relations is gay.

    • by hey! ( 33014 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:30PM (#48305181) Homepage Journal

      Evidently gay is highly contagious. Scientists say it's not airborne, but some of them have got it, so there's obviously a lot they don't know about how gay is spread. It stands to reason we should do everything we an think of to reduce the public exposure to gay.

      • Evidently gay is highly contagious. Scientists say it's not airborne, but some of them have got it, so there's obviously a lot they don't know about how gay is spread. It stands to reason we should do everything we an think of to reduce the public exposure to gay.

        To reduce the risk, we have to tear down all statues of men who ever worked together with a gay man. That's how contagious it is.

        Bloody idiots.

      • by Adriax ( 746043 )

        Of course it is. That's the whole basis of the secret american gay bomb, which russian intelligence reports was in development 20 years ago, so it must be completed by now.

        Obviously the anti-homosexual laws are truly for the public good. Suppressing the natural background count of gayness so if the americans did cowardly attack russians with their dastardly gay bomb it would be easier to detect.

      • Evidently gay is highly contagious. Scientists say it's not airborne, but some of them have got it, so there's obviously a lot they don't know about how gay is spread. It stands to reason we should do everything we an think of to reduce the public exposure to gay.

        I can see the global angst now as a current US president sits down
        in front of a fireplace with a handful of trusted but silent aids to reassure
        the nation and the world that "gay" is not contagious if you wear
        head to toe protective....

        Then in less than a week he or she imports a word like tzar from Russia
        to explain it all.....

    • Nazi comparison in 3...2...1...
  • PR hoax (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:25PM (#48305121)

    Removal of Steve Jobs memorial due to 'gay propaganda' law turns out to be PR hoax
    http://rt.com/news/201855-steve-jobs-memorial-gay/

    • by Anrego ( 830717 ) *

      To me, the fact that it was being taken down for maintenance doesn't make it ineligible to be "ordered taken down" after the fact. The fact that it was being taken down to be fixed might have put the idea in someones head, but the fact is if it was originally planned to be put back up and is no longer, then that is mostly the same as if there had been no maintenance plans.

      Very least it seems like all parties have come out with the line, and don't intend to put the thing back up for the cited reasoning.

      Oppor

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Anonymous Coward

        What most of the media also left out is the other stated reason for not putting the monument back up: Apple's complicity with the NSA as revealed by Snowden. Plus the monument wasn't being taken down by governmental sources, but by the business group that put it up in the first place.

  • ah, I understand (Score:5, Insightful)

    by rubycodez ( 864176 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:25PM (#48305125)

    I didn't know a person could become gay-tainted after they die if their successor is gay. Hope the next person to have my job after I die isn't gay, otherwise my tombstone might set off someone's gaydar. that would be embarrassing.

    • by wisnoskij ( 1206448 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:27PM (#48305151) Homepage

      I didn't know a person could become gay-tainted after they die if their successor is gay. Hope the next person to have my job after I die isn't gay, otherwise my tombstone might set off someone's gaydar. that would be embarrassing.

      Particularly if they were also a necrophiliac.

    • By their logic, Boris Yeltsin (Putin's predecessor as President), as well as Viktor Zubkov and Sergei Stepashin (his immediate predecessors as Prime Minister) are now tainted as self-loathing closeted homo/bisexuals ... because Putin obviously is.

    • Especially in a position that isn't controlled by you but these weird people called "board members". Obviously the board members must be super gay.
    • I didn't know a person could become gay-tainted after they die if their successor is gay. Hope the next person to have my job after I die isn't gay, otherwise my tombstone might set off someone's gaydar. that would be embarrassing.

      Why would that be embarrassing? It's just gay. It's not embarrassing.

      • oh no, "gay tainted" is not the same thing at all as gay. For example TIm Cook is merely gay, but Jobs being "gay tainted" means that even memorials to him must be demolished, no persistence in any living person's memory is allowed. Beware the taint!

  • Given the number of hits on pron sites for "Russian teen anal", I dare say Russia doesn't have anything against sodomy.

  • and why was there... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by dAzED1 ( 33635 ) on Monday November 03, 2014 @05:44PM (#48305311) Homepage Journal
    and why was there a monument to Steve Jobs anyway? Seems like "today is monday" would be a good enough reason to tear it down. That said, this was a spectacularly bad reason, I'm just saying no reason was necessary. Doing something for the wrong reason doesn't make it the wrong thing to do - if I make a habit of drinking several glasses of water a day because I think the midichlorians need it for fuel, that doesn't mean I was wrong for drinking water...
  • Did anybody in Russia notice that Steve Jobs and Tim Cook are not the same person? I'm afraid even trying to think like a looney, anti-gay zealot, I can't figure out the line of reasoning that led to this decision...

For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat, and wrong. -- H. L. Mencken

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