One More Thing For Apple Stores: Food? 176
mattnyc99 writes "Esquire raises an interesting question on iPhone 5 day: What if Apple stores had cafes? From an analyst cited in the article: 'In line with the Genius Bar concept, I could see them taking a part of the store and making it a café atmosphere where customers could interact with technology in a relaxed environment.'"
Good place for ./ers to meet chicks? (Score:2)
I'm sure this would be successful, at least in some markets. It would fit right in with the coffee-shop/bookstore theme that has been popular for quite a while.
Re:Dotslashers? (Score:2)
Sorry about the typo...
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-bash: ./ers: No such file or directory
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Yeah. I'm sure a bunch of opinionated nerds hanging around an Apple store telling the ladies why they're wasting their money and trying to push Android on them will get them all sorts of boo-tay.
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Good point.
If 25 years of marriage have taught me anything, it is this: a woman digs a dude who tells them in exhausting and pedantic detail why they, the woman, are wrong.
Now, if only my wife would learn that lesson...
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Now I know who to blame for my husband getting that silly idea.
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Chicks who prefer the "Apple Cafe" over Starbucks ought to count as "geekier" than the average... It's not much, I know, but perhaps the best chance an average /.er can hope for.
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Yeah. I'm sure a bunch of opinionated nerds hanging around an Apple store telling the ladies why they're wasting their money and trying to push Android on them will get them all sorts of boo-tay.
Good plan,
Only one problem though, we wont find any chicks at an Apple store, only gay men.
Alcohol would help sales (Score:3, Informative)
Alcohol would help sales as it increases the chance of making impulse decisions.
Re:Alcohol would help sales (Score:4, Funny)
I was thinking Apple would be more likely to utilize Kool-aid. *ducks*
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Apple wishes its brand identity were so strong that some remarkable incident could occur involving someone else's product, but people discussing the incident would substitute an Apple product instead.
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Oh no!
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As smug and loudmouthed as they are sober, the thought of them drunk scares the shit out of me.
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the smuggest place on earth
When I read that I just got the picture in my head of a Disney World for douchebags. Now I can't stop laughing. I keep picturing a bunch of animatronic Steve Jobs's singing "It's a smug world after all...It's a smug world after all..."
Re:Alcohol would help sales (Score:5, Informative)
Dude... as a guy who regularly writes code while sitting in a quiet pub, I can tell you first-hand: the last thing you want to see is a drunken Apple fanboi.
I have the unfortunate distinction of owning a 17" MBP. Wasn't my idea, but part of my job is mobile app dev, and I needed a new laptop anyway, so I let my boss buy me the dumb thing. Every goddamned turtleneck-wearing cockmongler has to bless me with a rant about how they love their Mac. When I tell them I hate the thing and that it hinders my workflow, the answer is always "you'll learn to love it" - never "you will get used to it" or "yeah I guess that feature kind of sucks". They simply cannot parse the reality that someone might not be head-over-heels for a piece of Apple hardware.
And that's when they're fresh off the street, still sober. After one and a half pints of wheat beer, they step it up a notch by shouting in your ear about how awesome GarageBand is, you're a "fucking dinosaur" for using Cubase. After pint #3, they start telling you how iCloud is going to change your life and end world hunger. Somewhere during pint #4, the bartender calls 9-1-1 because Mr Fanboi has accidentally fallen under your boot and crushed their windpipe.
So no, let's not sell booze at the Apple store. Those cultists are annoying enough as it is, and frankly I'm already quite tired of having to cleave through hordes of people just to buy a stupid charger. You want to improve the Apple store experience ? Kick them out after 5 minutes if they haven't bought anything. It's a fucking Apple store, they sell all of 4 products. You don't need to browse, you need to get in, remortgage your kidneys, and get the fuck out.
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I have the unfortunate distinction of owning a 17" MBP. Wasn't my idea, but part of my job is mobile app dev, and I needed a new laptop anyway, so I let my boss buy me the dumb thing.
A developer who can't handle UNIX?
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No, a developer who hates having to handle Apple's bizarrely modified, quite screwed up version of UNIX.
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Name the definitive version of UNIX please - because pretty much every version out there has been "bizarrely modified" and "quite screwed up" by its vendor.
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I don't know how modified it is, but it's rooted in BSD, and that's enough to set me off. My curse is that I cut my teeth on RedHat 4.2 (I think). I later went through the Linux-From-Scratch rite of passage, and eventually settled on Gentoo. With the exception of LFS which is pretty spartan by nature, those other two distros have a ton of custom patches and creature comforts to soften some of the hard edges in the OS.
BSD/Darwin have none of that. The nerfed stuff is all in the GUI, while the Unix stuff
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You are instantly and forever my most favorite person in the world.
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You dont have to own a Mac to get that.
Two weeks ago I was sitting in an outdoor bar in the Philippines with my Asus laptop just fucking around on the internet minding my own business when a turtleneck-wearing cockmon
$ per square foot (Score:5, Insightful)
From a stat I saw a few weeks ago (can't be bothered to look it up) , Apple already rakes in about double the $ per square foot it makes from its stores than the next highest retailer makes in their stores. So why would Apple want to change a winning formula?
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Because they'd like to win by more?
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This is an interesting point the GP makes, most companies are judged on their gross margin which this plan may well hurt. Sure they make more actual profit, but if it takes a proportionately greater amount of money to make that, then are they actually hurting themselves?
Now if they're selling a lifestyle for even greater gross margin and customer loyalty then maybe it's worth that hit, but I'm not sure the stock market would see that - they're very short sighted.
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Loyalty and image are Apple's Bread n' Butter. Even back in the '80s they advertised their products with celebrity endorsements rather than on technical merit. Today it's "if you don't have an iPhone...well, you don't have an iPhone! *smugface*" (cleverly satirized here) [cracked.com]
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Your tall skinny no-whip soy tai chi lattechino has about 20 cents worth of ingredients in it.
Yeah, but your overhead on rent/property-taxes, electricity, air-conditioning/heat, labor, etc. are by far your biggest expense in a big city, not your ingredients. And if your coffee shop is packed with a bunch of slackers who just sit around all day nursing one cup of coffee and shooting the shit about how much they love their Macs and iPads, you're probably not going to be making any money--no matter how cheap the coffee is to make.
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But it may not make them more.
There is value of getting them there and sticking around playing with their products, but the length of time they stay there probably has a curve of diminishing returns to it.
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Ever wonder how a theory becomes fact?
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At the moment they are winning by having less.
Their stores I've been to have been far less crammed full of stuff than a Fry's or Best Buy. They certainly don't have an expansive product range.
The only thing their stores seem to have more of are employees, and wildly priced peripherals.
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They need a proper venue to serve you the Koolaid.
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Because then they could have their customers literally drinking the kool-aid.
We already have that (Score:4, Insightful)
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sue to have Starbucks shut down
Not seeing a downside to that part.
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Too cool to pay for internet at home, maaan! :D
Sure, why not (Score:2)
To further besmirch the image of the average iPhone/iPad user, let's have a café where they can appear to be casually hanging out, before going someplace or doing something incredibly important, but for now can spare $20 for a cuppa and a scone.
Hey! This iPhone was an open box, there's crumbs in here!
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before going someplace or doing something incredibly important
They're going down to Wall Street and take on the evil corporate pigs who are exporting all our jobs. But first, they need to stop off and buy a bunch of stuff from the Apple Store.
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To further besmirch the image of the average iPhone/iPad user, let's have a café where they can appear to be casually hanging out, before going someplace or doing something incredibly important, but for now can spare $20 for a cuppa and a scone.
This is Apple we're talking about A iCuppa will cost at least $25 (A$58) and the scone would require an upgrade to the iCuppa Pro at no less then $35 (A$136). Not to mention the $9.99 hourly fee for being allowed to enter the iStore seating program and the Apple care warranty in case you burn yourself.
Woolworths (Score:2)
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Probably not much, given it would be (as positited) a cafe, not a grocery store. Woolworths do not have instore cafes.
Or, you know, drinks? (Score:4, Funny)
Reminds me of a friends facebook status: "At Genius Bar. I can think of at least two things wrong with that name."
Brilliant! (Score:3)
A glorious synergy of snack food and glossy touchscreen devices.
hipster overload (Score:3)
Not only would "apple store" plus "coffee shop" be hipster overload, but where you see "customers could interact with technology in a relaxed environment", I see "people spilling coffee on things"
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Well, you've gotta point, iOS can't run with Java!
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There's already a Starbucks kiosk next to my local iStore. Not sure they really need to do the Reese's thing with the two.
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I think of it more as 'drawing more hipsters in, away from me'.
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Maybe they can sell some vinyl records and wacky old clothes in there too, and it will form a hipster singularity that will destroy any more hipsters who walk in!
If Apple had cafés (Score:2)
I'd steer clear of the Kool-Aid, that's for sure.
The importance of saying No (Score:3)
This would not be inline with the Genius Bar, which is there to help people resolve problems users have experienced with their Apple technology.
One thing that Apple does better than almost any other tech company is that they say No to most items that are not relevant to their goals. They do not load up their stores with extra padding items in order to try to sell a few more units, unless they think that it fits in with the use of their key products. When you launch a new Mac, you are not hit over the head with loads of crap-ware which the system vendor managed to make an extra 30 bucks by hoisting upon you.
Picking up the short buck is not worth tarnishing the brand. To bad few other tech vendors will be able to figure this out.
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As much as I dislike the Apple Stores for being way too full of loitering fools, I gotta give them kudos for staying on-topic. The few 3rd-party items they do carry are directly related to their core products. Contrast with my local PC shop and erstwhile employer, whose computer inventory is perversely complemented by kitchenware, pottery, and Chinese Ikea-knockoff furniture. You know, because I totally needed an 8-dollar toaster to go with my new Radeon.
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This would not be inline with the Genius Bar
If it's anything like my Apple store, in line is where you'll be standing too, right behind a bunch of pricks who have no intention of actually buying anything.
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Or, in other words, they *do* load their store up with extra padding - except that it's Apple Approved iPadding.
Seriously, have you ever actually been in an Apple store? Three quarters of the SK
Apples (mostly offtopic) (Score:2)
Nah. Still not close enough (30 mile drive to the closest Apple store, which is much further than the 5 mile drive to the closest grocery store.)
apple secret attitude may not be health inspector (Score:2)
apple secret attitude may not be good for the health inspector.
Touch screens (Score:2)
Hope you don't mind greasy fingerprints on those nice shiny touch screens.
Umm, except for one thing... (Score:4, Insightful)
I can barely get in the door of the Apple Store in the ones I've visited in Toronto and Ottawa. They need more crowding, why?
This is a seriously stupid idea.
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^^ This.
There a few things I dread more than having to go to the Rideau Apple Store. In addition to the horde of seemingly non-paying customers, they get a colourful complement of the usual downtown Ottawa riff-raff: crackheads, brain-damaged, hobos, drunken Ottawa U students, and on one notable occasion, a fine fellow who begged for changed, then tried to steal my wallet and received a tender iBeating.
But, since I live within walking distance, it's quicker than mail-order. FML.
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I dig my Apple stuff and it unreal even to me. I went with my sister to help bring her iMac to be fixed last year. She had to work late, so we got to the Apple store at 9pm. Completely loaded with people while half the other stores in the mall were shuttered. WTF. It was surreal.
Not sure why it *bothers* some folks, though. Wow, a company is doing well and generating tax revenue in a shit economy. Fuck, we can't have that!
Yet another stupid idea (Score:4, Insightful)
You know what stands out about the Apple store?
It is ALWAYS full of people. Why would they give up valuable floor space currently used to display products, to try to sell coffee? To bring in customers? They do not seem to have a problem with that.
Yet another stupid idea by someone who has never run a business.
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It is ALWAYS full of people. Why would they give up valuable floor space currently used to display products, to try to sell coffee? To bring in customers? They do not seem to have a problem with that.
I've noticed that. Some random quiet midday there will be 200 people in the mall, great my chance to browse the apple store in non-claustrophobic peace, no, 100 of those 200 mall rats will all be crammed into the Apple store. Totally weird.
Anyway the idea is if customer satisfaction is dropping due to long wait times, one time honored way to improve it is to stuff food and drink down the customer's maw. Hence the mid level car dealers and repair shops I visit have donut and soda and coffee while you wait
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Cafe Macs! (Score:2)
Can they make it like Cafe Macs in Cupertino? When I went there for training, it was hand-down the best cafeteria I've ever ever ever seen.
Redundant (Score:2)
Has the Hipster Cat meme taught you nothing? (Score:2)
Every hipster type I ever met was into Linux, usually the most obscure distribution they could find. Either that or BeOS.
Apple stuff is way too mainstream for any True Hipster.
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Every hipster I've ever met was more into their fixed gear bike than technology product like Linux. They like Apple because Apple does not get virii. Virii are unhip.
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eh, there is adefinite techno-hipster contingent. Maybe we need a new name for such creatures.
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(facepalm)
Whatever, dude. Have fun in your little echo chamber.
Full circle (Score:2)
Maybe after they open up the cafe's in the corner, they could start selling books so that patron's had something to read whilst they sipped coffee?
Too busy (Score:2)
The Apple stores I go to are way too busy to provide a "relaxed environment." They don't have the room, and I suspect they don't need to have people stick around and socialize. The recent trend is in the other direction - the Genius bar gets 15 minutes / problem, and I was told there was strong pressure to get people rotated out, even if a fix could be done in a longer time.
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The Apple stores I go to are way too busy to provide a "relaxed environment."
That was my first impression when I read the summary. I have been to an Apple store once. It was so busy and hectic seeming that I found it uncomfortable. I would never associate "relaxed environment" with the experience that I had at the Apple store.
It was really too bad. I went in there with the intention of buying what I needed and perhaps toying around with the products for a little bit. By the time the sales guy came out
If Apple sold actual apples I would be worried (Score:2)
In case no one else noticed, there is a frikken BITE taken out of the apple in the Apple logo. I have always taken this as a symbol of their taking a piece of whatever you get from them or that it is never quite complete. But if they sold food could we expect the same?
NFC? (Score:4, Insightful)
76 comments and no one, not even the original article, has commented on this is the perfect way to roll out a near field communications micropayment function in the next iphone?
NFC / micropayments / all that rot all have the chicken and the egg problem. But if you knew you could at least buy a cuppa coffee at any Apple store with it... maybe if Apple didn't sell the coffee itself but got some established coffee shop to move in as part of a deal ALL of that chain's coffee shops would accept the new NFC micropayments thingy... I think we're on to something here, for the intro of NFC payment.
At least around here, Apple stores are in big malls, with lots of foot traffic, which certainly pushes the NFC concept into other stores.... I can buy a cuppa coffee at the apple store, why not every food court vendor... why not buy a shirt at old navy... I think we're on to something here, for the NFC midgame/growth phase...
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76 comments and no one, not even the original article, has commented on this is the perfect way to roll out a near field communications micropayment function in the next iphone?
They'd have to let go of their bottomless hate for a company and product line they seem unable to ignore.
But not Apples (Score:3)
Of course the cafe sounds interesting. There could be poetry readings that are typed into a screen reader on a MacBook Air, and whenever an iPad is sold, everyone could snap their fingers in approval.
First thing on the menu... (Score:2)
The first thing they'd need to put on the menu was colonic cleansing drinks and shakes with wheatgrass. It's the perfect demographic.
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iFood recalls? (Score:2)
Does this mean that if E Coli is found on the lettuce that they could do a recall on it and retroactively remove it from my system?
Laws (Score:2)
Serving food makes them subject to licensing, inspection, and to all sorts of public health and safety laws, some of which have very tenuous connections to actual public health and safety.
Need driven by other reason. (Score:2)
Apple store menu (Score:2)
What Would They Serve? (Score:2)
Blub, blub, blub... (Score:2)
Coffee or other drink meets keyboard, laptop, etc will mean that a high likelihood of damaged or dead devices due to liquid immersion. I think the insurance for Apple Store increase exponentially due risk of damage due to liquids.
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Heh I just had this picture in my head of an Android Coffee shop that sells cheap coffee. Just before they hand you the coffee they beg and plead for you to put money in the tip jar!
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And they keep telling you that they'll tell you what's in it so you can make your own at home, but then hide all the recipe books.
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It's not Java! Stop calling it that, you'll get me in trouble!
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Open Source coffee shop might actually be a good gimmick.
Cheap coffee and some baked goods, but have the recipe book out for people to look at. Could take suggestions from people on how to modify the recipes, which should eventually lead to a recipe tuned perfectly for the local preferences.
Do the roasting for the coffee on site too, and sell the raw beans to people who want to do the roasting themselves.
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You would have to have a compatible, expansive iMouth to eat their even more expansive iFood.
My guess is the "iMouth" would be a new model iPhone/iPod/iPad/mac laptop with NFC micropayment hardware, and the store would literally only accept the NFC micropayments for the iFood. No cash, no CC, no checks, just the new NFC thing. Probably if you buy a new iPhone in person at a iFood store you'd get a $5 credit with the expectation you'd immediately use it to buy iFood to get that first initial experience with the new NFC thing.
Also, anyone who's ever bought iProducts has noticed the packaging is bey
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... expansive ...
Like a balloon?
Like ...expensive...
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Just imagine how expensive an expansive mouth would be.
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I'm an anti-hipster hipster. It's the latest thing. But you just wouldn't understand, man.
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Also on Slashdot if a computer costs $2000 or more, it's a big heavy-ass, power-guzzling, heat-spewing gaming rig that can run Crysis maxed out, with an unfit neckbearded geek sitting in front of it, not some artsy hipster's overpriced notebook.
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The really funny thing is that I bet if you asked that guy why he bought a Macbook and dressed like that, he would say that it was because it made him *unique*. Lol
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I bet haters think they are clever and witty.
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They could also put in an altar where they could worship at the likeness of Steve Jobs. Then call it a church and claim non-profit status.
Burnt offering of your old windows laptop on the altar?
I suppose the mutterings of the genius bar provide Delphic prophesy? "If you delete that malware, you will destroy a great piece of software"
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I hope the EPA will regulate the levels of smug inside those cafes.
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If it tastes bad you're probably holding it wrong.