No Playboy App For iPad, After All 140
tsamsoniw writes "The rumors that a Playboy app would appear in the Apple App Store were greatly exaggerated. Playboy plans to offer an online service through which subscribers can access past and current issues of the nudie mag — and per Playboy, it will be accessible via Safari and support iPad features (whatever that means). But if Playboy does come out with a native app for iPad, all the nudity will be censored. That should be just fine for the legions of people who indeed read the magazine for the articles. This really shouldn't be a surprise, though: If Apple insists on 'protecting' users of its high-priced gear from pixelated naughty bits in a graphic-novel version of classic literature, it certainly won't let users access the full monty. It's a shame, though: If Apple's customers want access to that sort of content, Apple should allow them to get at it via a native app instead of suffering a potentially buggier, less secure browser-based experience."
iPad Features (Score:5, Funny)
and support iPad features (whatever that means)
It means:
- It will be locked down.
- Touch interaction with 'models' will be disabled.
- Page turning will be forced on a 20 second timer to ensure users don't get too 'excited'.
- All images of screwing will be replaced with 'pentalobular interaction'.
- Steve Jobs will read the articles via a quaint brittish accent TTS engine.
- All images will come with an accompanying 'I'm Offended!' reporting link.
- All nipple shots will be replaced with miniature Natalie Portman faces.
Proofreading needed (Score:4, Funny)
"But if Playboy does come out with a native app for iPad, but all the nudity will be censored." -- sentence failure!
Re:Proofreading needed (Score:3, Funny)
Re:iPad Features (Score:5, Funny)
With or without hot grits?
Re:It's Playboy, not Hustler... (Score:4, Funny)
This is bizarre. Playboy is R-rated, not NC-17, and Apple already distributes music that carries the [EXPLICIT] tag. Hell, they sell and rent Fast Times at Ridgemont High [imdb.com], and there's nothing you can see in Playboy that's not in that movie, and nothing they say in Playboy that's not in American Pie [imdb.com].
Dunno about that. Apparently this month's edition has 43 year old Pamela Anderson showing off her poetry.
Do Not Want.
Re:You mean even Hef (Score:5, Funny)
Apple does not "block" porn, they just refuse publishing porn themselves. Sure, there is that tiny deal about them not supporting any other distribution methods, but thats a different matter. Truth be told: I would not install a pornographic application on my iPad or iPhone if you put a gun on a kitten's head (if it was my head I'd install and delete it once the gun wielder was arrested.)
The web provides all the porn I could need, and it displays magnificently in the iPad, touch screens are easier to clean than the mouse or the keyboard too!!
iPad features... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:You mean even Hef (Score:4, Funny)
They know their target audience has no interest in seeing naked women.
They know their target audience gets easy access to the real thing. :P
so.... their target market is women who own mirrors?