Microsoft CEO Claims iPhone Will Be Bust 463
Theaetetus writes "In an interview with USA Today, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer claimed there is no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. The article also deals with Microsoft's friction with the Justice Department, friction with Google, and the profitability of MSN. 'No chance. It's a $500 subsidized item. They may make a lot of money. But if you actually take a look at the 1.3 billion phones that get sold, I'd prefer to have our software in 60% or 70% or 80% of them, than I would to have 2% or 3%, which is what Apple might get. In the case of music, Apple got out early. They were the first to really recognize that you couldn't just think about the device and all the pieces separately. Bravo. Credit that to Steve (Jobs) and Apple. They did a nice job. But it's not like we're at the end of the line of innovation that's going to come in the way people listen to music, watch videos, etc. I'll bet our ads will be less edgy. But my 85-year-old uncle probably will never own an iPod, and I hope we'll get him to own a Zune.'"
Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:5, Funny)
Not to mention that special "something" that Apple has and Microsoft clearly does not have [slashdot.org]. I don't claim to know what it is--I don't own a Mac--I'm bicurious about OSX and I don't know why
Translation: The question left out of this interview was whether Ballmer has to lie to himself that he's working for the greatest company on earth every morning when he wakes up or if that lie persists full strength throughout the week.
If you underestimate your enemies--no matter how big or small--you're going to get burned.
Dang... (Score:1, Funny)
Target market (Score:5, Funny)
Subsidized by what? (Score:5, Funny)
Excuse me, Mr. Balmer? Subsidized by who or what?
Maybe Balmer knows something I don't (always possible), but methinks that he needs to go back to CEO school* for lessons on how to pay attention to your competition. In specific, the reason why the iPhone is going to cost $500 is because it's not being subsidized by cell phone contracts. Jobs is trying to change the rules in that respect. Like Nintendo, Apple wants to make a profit off of every hardware unit sold. Any money that comes in through the surplus channels of additional content or features will simply be creme.
I can see how that went: "Here uncle, take this Zune player. It's FREE! That way I can tell everyone that my 85 year old uncle has a Zune, but doesn't want an iPod."
Uncle: "Have you lost your marbles, sonny-boy!?! What in tarnashun' does your old uncle here need with this Dune player?"
Balmer: "Zune..."
Uncle: "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking boy! You think you're so sh'mart with yer fancy electronics company!"
Balmer: "Technically soft-"
Uncle: "I said DON'T INTERRUPT ME!"
Blamer: "Um. Sorry."
Uncle: "That's better. Now get rid of this piece of junk. Did I ever tell you about the time I was flying over Iwo Jima and ended up in a blazing dogfight? I think it was 1942..."
Balmer: *sigh*
Two months later...
Blamer: "My 85-year-old uncle probably will never own an iPod, and I hope we'll get him to own a Zune."
Reporter: "Oooooo..."
* I hear that he didn't finish his Dark Lord training with Jeff Skilling...
The iPhone? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Target market (Score:4, Funny)
So it'll be huge in South Korea?
Re:Bad Ballmer Bellicosity (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Target market (Score:4, Funny)
No, old people related to Microsoft executives.
Re:Target market (Score:5, Funny)
Think about that for a second.
iPod 2.0 (Score:2, Funny)
The Zune: It's not your grandmother's music pla... (Score:4, Funny)
I wonder, will they come preloaded with Lawrence Welk?
Oh Microsoft... Always the Technology Visonary... (Score:3, Funny)
1989: The GUI will never gain significant market share (And the end user will only ever need 640K of RAM!)
1994: The Internet is a passing fad and will never gain any significant market share!
1995: MS BOB Will be a huge market success!
1997: The DOJ will never convict us of being a monopoly!
1998: The end user doesn't care about security!
1999: What's this Linux thing you're talking about?
2001: What's this Apple thing you're talking about?
2002: iPod: Less storage than a Nomad and no wireless. Lame.
2006: iPod: Less storage than a Zune and no wireless. Lame.
2007: The iPhone will never gain significant market share!
It would seem that if you want to accurately predict popular technology trends all you have to do is listen to what Microsoft is saying and then predict exactly the opposite!
Somebody should send him an iPod (Score:5, Funny)
Huh? What? speak up Ballmer... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Why the media blitz recently (Score:5, Funny)
But does he have an enormous schwanstucker?
Not that I care personally, mind you.
Re:Good job Microsoft. (Score:3, Funny)
Yes! *throws chair* I'm gonna f**king KILL Ballmer!
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:3, Funny)
Christ, you'd think the cheap bastard would have bought his uncle one by now. It's not like he doesn't have a couple bucks stashed away. He'd probably even get an employee discount.
Re:Target market (Score:3, Funny)
What Ballmer is saying is that the Zune's target market is old people.
He's probably planning to sell it to old people in Korea.
By email, of course.
Re:marketing genius (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:2, Funny)
*Throws rocking chair across room*
I'll bury u.
Re:Comparing Apples To Lemons (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Target market (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Target market (Score:3, Funny)
Before who dies? Ballmer, or his uncle? I think Zune will die a lot earlier than that.
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:5, Funny)
Interesting, but, I think you glazed over this whole breast and breast milk thing WAY too quickly.
Can you describe this in greater detail....any pictures by chance?
I think we need to take this into MUCH greater account when stress testing laptops, and hardware in general!!
\ Sure as hell is more interesting than watching 2 gorillas throw samsonite luggage all over a cage, the breast milk-laptop test would be one of the most often watched tv commercials in the world!!
At least, it would be the most tivo'ed commercial.... :-)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:3, Funny)
Excuse me while I go throw a chair.
Interesting way to sell the Zune. (Score:1, Funny)
OK. I know where I went wrong, I started too technical. MP3
(three hours later)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:4, Funny)
After all, some people like to be peed on, and, most of the time, using Windows isn't as bad as *that*, so it stands to reason.
Re:Target market (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Somebody should send him an iPod (Score:5, Funny)
Selling to Gramps (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Spoken Like a True Self-Deluded CEO (Score:4, Funny)
[1] That was supposed to be a joke, but I no-so-secretly believe it.[2]
[2] And yes, I'm a big fat nerd with man boobs sitting in an home study full of posters from the Science museum, with not one but two Darth Vaders models, surrounded by a multi processor Sparc system, a server running debian, two Macs (one G4 PPC, one Intel Laptop) and a Windows XP gaming system but in the presence of other nerds I'm positively dynamic