Apple Rumored To Be Exploring Medical Devices, Electric Cars To Reignite Growth 255
An anonymous reader writes "The Apple rumor mill is alive and well. This time around the tech giant is rumored to be looking into exploring medical sensor technology related to predicting heart attacks, and might even buy Tesla. 'Taken together, Apple's potential forays into automobiles and medical devices, two industries worlds away from consumer electronics, underscore the company's deep desire to move away from iPhones and iPads and take big risks. "Apple must increasingly rely on new products to reignite growth beyond the vision" of late founder Steve Jobs, said Bill Kreher, an analyst with Edward Jones Investments in St. Louis. "They need the next big thing."'"
Apple Car Troubles (Score:3, Funny)
Any issues with the car will probably be blamed on the driver. "Your car doesn't accelerate properly because you're holding the steering wheel incorrectly."
Cars? (Score:2, Funny)
Remember when Apple was the company that came out with revolutionary new products and the rest of the industry followed them?
Apparently, now it's Google.
(Oh, and who would trust Steve Jobs' company to make their medical devices? Yes I am speaking both to his general approach to ethics, and the circumstances of his death.)
Pace Makers and Cochlear Implants (Score:2, Funny)
Ask yourself this... do you trust Apple with your pace maker? Your cochlear implant?
Would you trust MICROSOFT with your pace maker (holy hellzapoppin' no)
I can just see it... " Your cochlear implant has reached it's maximum amount of words amplified for the day. In order to hear more today, you need to upgrade to MICROSOFT COCHLEAR PROFESSIONAL 8.1" or even worse "Oh shit. I'm sorry, I can't do anything else today. I'm only using PaceMaker XP and if my heart beats more than 86,400 times today, my pace maker will throw a very literal blue screen of death."
With Apple, it's be a shiny pace maker, with a lot of features that may or may not be compatible with any other implants... like if you have an MS Cochlear, you can't have an Apple Pace Maker..