Steve Jobs Reincarnated As a Warrior-Philosopher, Thai Group Says 223
Velcroman1 writes "When Apple founder Steve Jobs died after a long fight with cancer last year, software engineer Tony Tseung sent an email to a Buddhist group in Thailand to find out what happened to his old boss now that he's no longer of this world. This month, Tseung received his answer. Jobs has been reincarnated as a celestial warrior-philosopher, the Dhammakaya group said in a special television broadcast, and he's living in a mystical glass palace hovering above his old office at Apple's Cupertino, Calif. headquarters."
Re incarnation (Score:4, Funny)
Yes But (Score:3, Funny)
Does it have rounded corners?
It's the prophecy! (Score:2, Funny)
Finally the one who will be a match for the Philosoraptor.
In other words... (Score:5, Funny)
In other words,
... Steve jobs has been uploaded to the iCloud.
Re:Thanks for that (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:5, Funny)
You scoff now, but in a year all the dead founders will have suspiciously similar glass palaces over their former headquarters, and you'll all be claiming the design is obvious and no one could design a decent afterlife without it.
They found the baby seat in a Mercedes SL55 AMG (Score:5, Funny)
Great Karma (Score:4, Funny)
I too once had a great Karma, a Karma Ghia. It too was reincarnated many times. When I got my Karma, it had no compression. I had traded an old Dodge for it, which had no brakes.
When we pulled the oil drain and peered inside, we saw quite a mess. Little chunks of twisted metal everywhere. It was terminal. So we just put the oil drain back, and drove the Hell out of it for five years, occasionally adding oil and gasoline.
It was quite an Educator- I taught four people how to drive in it. It had a nose of Wonder; it was crushed beyond recognition when my two sisters managed to sequentially run it head on into both a Citroen Maserati and a Ferrari 250GT. The other two cars were undamaged.
It never managed to hover. It did manage to float down a steep muddy hillside. There were mushrooms growing on the back package tray.
The coil was held in place with a shoelace, and the battery was kept from dragging on the ground with several layers of deteriorated cardboard stashed underneath.
I don't know its inevitable demise, it was passed on from family to friend, to friend, to friends of friends, to whoever; only the All Knowing DMV in the Sky knows for sure.
My Karma wasn't Buddhist. I think that it might have been a Lutheran.
a quick (and faulted) primer on bhuddist cosology (Score:5, Funny)
Ok, if Jobs is floating over his OLD OFFICE, that means he was incarnated as a hungry ghost!
See, in bhuddist cosmology, there are various gradients of existence. This world, our world, represents the crossroads between the celestial heavens, and the hellish naraka. (Those are plural. There are many of each.)
The important thing of note here, is that the priests say he was incarnated above his old office. This means here, on the mortal realm.
In the mortal realm, there are 3 potential kinds of incarnation: Human, Hungry ghost, and Animal.
Since he is incorporeal, and in the mortal realm, that means he is a hungry ghost. Hungry ghosts are called that, because they have big appetites, but lack any real means to sate them. They are a pitiable form of existence, but can also cause serious problems, such as hauntings.
Wiki on hungry ghosts [wikipedia.org]
That he would incarnate into a LOWER incarnation implies he had BAD karma, but not quite sufficient to send him to one of the naraka. (Though the burning flesh naraka might be appropriate if you ask me.)
So, if you work at apple, you should attempt to appease the late Jobs, by leaving offerings of unmarked bills, and the latest iDevice on his desk. Failing to do so will anger the hungry ghot, and there will be trouble. Burning incense may help as well. But not sandalwood. It's tacky.
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:3, Funny)
What is easier :
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:5, Funny)
You scoff now, but in a year all the dead founders will have suspiciously similar glass palaces over their former headquarters, and you'll all be claiming the design is obvious and no one could design a decent afterlife without it.
As long as you do not design your glass palace in the shape of rectangle with rounded corners you'll be fine...
... or fined
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:4, Funny)
3- Smash some windows
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:5, Funny)
I do think though that his trip to India and the LSD and Zen meditation, it was all kind of bullshit.
But he does have a sweet glass palace now.
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:2, Funny)
sigh* no...Karma determines what happens to you in the next life. It has zippo to do with this life. In this life you accumulate karma (or don't, that's why priests sit on mountaintops and do nothing, to avoid karma) and it determines what you become after your death.
I've been wondering if I were to post something offensive or trollish as anonymous coward will it cost me karma? On slashdot? In my next life? Are the systems integrated? What if I posted the same garbage without ticking the Post Anonymously button? Would this have a different effect on my next life?
Are there cool things you can be that require you to have less than excellent karma to qualify for?
For example if I wanted to be a four headed fire breathing dragon and my (formerly) excellent karma meant I would become a saint or a dolphin or something stupid like that could I mount a trolling campaign just before my death to burn off some Karma?
Re:Who gives a fuck? (Score:4, Funny)
Don't forget: They are android penguins. Probably they dream of electric fish!