Why Apple's Next Revolution Should Be In Your Car

New submitter eetc writes "This article surveys the sorry state of car makers' stereo and navigation systems: 'It's clear that most of the auto companies that offer more than a car stereo want to lock you into their interface and services — as awful as they are. The rest don't care. The aftermarket stereo and nav systems are no better. Stuffed with even more buttons and light-show gewgaws, they're sure to keep your eyes off the road and may not work easily with your stuff. Add to that mix the split focus of also having to use a separate GPS unit in most vehicles, and you have to wonder what keeps our roads so relatively safe.' The answer in one word: iCar. This is just the sort of broken market that Apple specializes in taking over."

Apple will decide where you can and can't travel

[crazyjj]

Driver: Siri, why is the car slowing down?

Siri: I'm sorry, but this road has not been pre-approved by Apple for use with your Apple vehicle. Would you like me to suggest an alternate, approved route?

Driver: Wait, you can control my car...the WHOLE car? Which one of these wires will unplug you anyway, bitch? ....Hey, what is that coming out of the air conditioner?

Siri: I've detected an illegal attempt at vehicle modification. This will help you relax while I drive you to the Apple Store for sanction.

Driver: waait..iah...stoppp

Siri: Your end-user license agreement specifically stated at purchase that your Apple vehicle was to be used for the sole purpose of engaging in Apple approved activities. Any attempt to modify this car is a violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and may result in penalties from a fine to death.

Driver: deaaathhh?

Siri: Penalty will be determined through third-party mediation, which you also agreed to at purchase. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Drink holder

[Toe, The]

Stereo? GPS? Car companies can't even make a cup holder that actually works.

It is strange, because as far as I can tell, people have been taking beverages into automobiles for at least... 12 years... perhaps more? And yet, car companies keep trying to reinvent the cup holder, usually horribly.

WTF? How can it be that difficult to engineer something so simple after so much time?

Re:Harder! Screw us harder!

[HCase]

I'm not entirely sure you understand the difference here. You do realize the auto company interfaces don't have images of fruit stamped into them? Right?

Re:Drink holder

[Reece400]

My Oldsmobile Alero had a cup holder right in front of the gear shift - if you put anything larger than a small 12oz cup in it you'd either crush it when you tried putting the vehicle into park or not get that far and end up with your vehicle in reverse. The cup holders in the back seat were semi circle shaped with little rubber flaps that were supposed to hold the cup - they didn't. I don't understand how anyone at GM could have though this was a good idea, but somehow they decided to design it this way anyway. Thinking back, I'm amazed it took as long as it did for GM to go bankrupt.

Re:Fuck no

[JDG1980]

Haven't we learned anything from Battlestar Galactica? You don't network everything. You keep things separate. Or, if you snerk at that example, haven't we learned anything from Unix/Linux where each piece does it's thing, and ONLY it's thing?

So your two examples are a sci-fi TV show, and an OS that works well on servers but is an absolute failure on the desktop because its "do one thing well" mentality creates fragmentation and doesn't fit the needs or expectations of average users.

Re:Apple will decide where you can and can't trave

[Eponymous Hero]

no, they'll say you were holding the steering wheel the wrong way

Re:Drink holder

[Yvan256]

Cup holder? Dude, that's the CD tray!