Steve Jobs Health Worries Escalate 520
Posted
by
timothy
from the hope-he's-got-more-tricks-up-his-sleeve dept.
from the hope-he's-got-more-tricks-up-his-sleeve dept.
PolygamousRanchKid writes with this sad snippet from the San Francisco Chronicle: "We all know that Steve Jobs is sick. What's not known is how sick he is, and that's worrying investors of Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) this morning, as well as everyone else. Jobs did have pancreatic cancer a few years ago, but he had a transplant and was able to come back to work. Last time, he gave some kind of time frame for returning to work. This time, he did not. Supposedly the National Enquirer is set to run pictures of Jobs with him looking frail and gaunt. Jobs was spotted leaving the Stanford Cancer Center in Palo Alto, California, according to RadarOnline.com."
TLDR: (Score:4, Funny)
Long story short, Satan has come to collect his part of the agreement.
Posted anon, cause apple fanbois gave up their sense of humor in exchange for shiny things.
Re:Of course he is dying (Score:2, Funny)
I won't accept that I'm not immortal until after I die.
In the meantime. It's fun being immortal!
Netcraft confirms it: Steve Jobs is dying. (Score:5, Funny)
Doctors of Medicinal Wizardry at Netcraft Sanitoriums have determined that Steve Jobs is dying. His slow lapse into death is due to a lack of Ego, which he has depleted to run Apple Enterprises. It was considered giving him a shot of Humility (which has has no natural reserve of) as an experimental treatment, but past review of his life has determined that this would be of no effect. Apple fanbois are quietly assembling at Cupertino to prepare for the inevitable deathwatch.
Re:He's probably dying (Score:3, Funny)
up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start...
Re:Private Lives (Score:5, Funny)
Except Mark Zuckerberg
He deserves to have every facet of his life known and subjected to Liking or DisLiking.