Apple's $1 Billion Data Center Mystery 244
Posted
by
CmdrTaco
from the it's-just-a-fruit-stand dept.
from the it's-just-a-fruit-stand dept.
1sockchuck writes "One of year's most tantalizing technology secrets involves Apple's $1 billion investment in a new data center in North Carolina. Is it the Death Star in Apple's plan for galactic domination? Some Apple watchers predict it will be the hub for a 21st century broadcasting network. Other enthusiasts are doing flyovers to film videos of the 500,000 square foot facility. There's also an unofficial FAQ about the new data center. What is Apple up to with this huge facility?"
Quote (Score:2, Funny)
Other enthusiasts are doing flyovers to film videos of the 500,000 square foot facility.
Jesus Christ on a crutch... is there anything Apple fanbois *won't* do?
Bad Analogy? (Score:3, Funny)
Personally, I think it's the computational center for Steve's worldwide reality distortion field. You need to really crunch the data to figure out how to bend people to your will.
Re:Quote (Score:5, Funny)
Calm and measured reactions to rumors?
Re:Cloud (Score:5, Funny)
It will also mean that the future iPhones, iPads and Mac computers will be even more locked down than previously. For example if you take a picture, it's directly uploaded "to the cloud". This is a huge privacy violation and means you don't really own your data anymore.
What in the hell are you talking about?
The real reason (Score:5, Funny)
They're trying to build a simulator for Steve Jobs ego before he kicks the bucket.
Secret video of center's interior (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYecfV3ubP8 [youtube.com]
.
Pinky. (Score:5, Funny)
Same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over the world!
It's a Detention facility ... (Score:4, Funny)
...for employees who leak info...
Re:Bad Analogy? (Score:5, Funny)
Apple has better people working for them, though. I mean, as far as design flaws go, "sometimes left-handed folks get dropped calls" is a lot better than "womprat-sized hole that automatically destroys entire facility when fired into." If Apple built the Death Star, the Rebels would have been defeated but Vader couldn't have called the Emperor to tell him about it.
Given who we're talking about (Score:5, Funny)
Apple employees: I have some distressing news about the company Retirement Plan...
I just do not understand... (Score:5, Funny)
why they need to build such a huge building to hold a cloud. Surely they could have condensed it?
Re:Such a mystery (Score:4, Funny)