Apple To Hold iPhone 4 Press Conference

teh31337one noted an Engadget report that Apple has announced an iPhone 4 Press Conference for Friday at 10am PT where presumably they will address all this wacky antenna stuff that has been happening.

Private Conference

[Anonymous Coward]

They discussed about the problem, what they intent to do about it and some technical details too. It wasn't exactly unusual from Apple, but here is more info [tinypic.com] for anyone interested.

Hopefully

[space_jake]

They'll hold the press conference correctly.

Worst Case Scenario:

[The MAZZTer]

"We are proud to announce the iPhone 5..."

Question

[jplopez]

Will Steve hold it the right way?

What reception will it get?

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope they hold it in the right spot. It's not going to get a very good reception otherwise.

press conference?

[underqualified]

are they going to play for miami heat too?

Re:They better get this right.

[Anonymous Coward]

... and in close second is $25 billion in cash reserves.

Re:Hopefully

[MemoryDragon]

Well.. Hello.. iphone yada yada... we are so fucking rich yada yada yada... itunes yada yada yada... and I almost forgot, you can buy
a silicon shell which fixes the reception problems from our store, for only 30$, you can buy it now...

thank you for your attendence...

Jobs walks off crowd goes crazy...

Re:err

[Anonymous Coward]

Ow, my brains.

Re:Hopefully

[HopefulIntern]

the correct Apple sanctioned gripping position

[Beavis and Butthead]Huh..huhuhuhuh...
[/Beavis and Butthead]

Just don't hold the conference that way

[speedwaystar]

Eh, Mr Jobs?

Signal Bar replacement.

[SneakyMishkin]

"The issue was that we had a 'signal bar' on the phone. We had forgotten that this was a magical device. The signal bar has now been replaced with a Mana bar. We expect the rest to work itself out."

Re:Hopefully

[mdwh2]

I heard they were going to announce an app to allow IPhone users to use the compass and GPS to locate the nearest public phone box on a map.

[Disclaimer, I got this from somewhere else, but can't find the link to credit.]

Re:Hopefully

[Anonymous Coward]

They'll hold the press conference correctly.

Press Conference
Hold Different

In the press conference..

[smasha]

"Due to popular demand, the cost for the bumpers will increase by $30."

Here is the transcript

[Anonymous Coward]

Ladies and gentlemen,

You're all holding it wrong.

We are always right.

Shut up and pay for the next iPhone.

The end.

Re:Signal Bar replacement.

[Superken7]

Yeah, first the iphone was left in a bar, and now the bars have left the iphone! That can only happen to magical devices.

Re:err

[BasilBrush]

Slashdot, the Rumour Mill for Apple users.

It used to be the news site for Linux, until it became apparent hardly anyone is interested in that any more.

Re:They better get this right.

[whisper_jeff]

If they do the right thing (I'm not even sure what that could be at this point), will you admit it, or will you gloat, or will you just find something else to complain about?

You appear to fail to consider the gloating _and_ finding something else to complain about option that most here will select...

Re:Will be a hard pill to swallow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Reminds me of this cool video:
www.funnyordie.com/videos/dafe6d6167/iphone-4-the-guys-who-didn-t-make-the-cut

Seen this before...

[jimmyfogg]

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "It hurts when I do THIS." The doctor looks at the patient and says, "Well, don't do THAT anymore..."

technobabble...

[geekmux]

"...they will address all this wacky Antenna stuff..."

Woah! Slow down there Mr. Wizard. I need Laymans terms, none of that bullshit techno-jargon that we can't understand...

Six Foot Drop!?

[TheNinjaroach]

From what I've seen so far, the device cannot withstand a simple 6ft drop test onto a concrete floor.

Six feet!? That's quite a drop!

To be clear, we're not talking about throwing it onto the floor here, but if it slips out of your pockets and bounces on the floor then there is a (not unrealistic) expectation that it'll survive - especially when you've paid several hundred UK pounds on a phone and tied yourself into an 18 month contract.

Oooh, you're British. Now everything makes sense, I just forgot to convert feet to.. wait, what?

Re:Will be a hard pill to swallow...

[Savage-Rabbit]

Which is why it won't happen. Here's how I predict things going down:

• Steve strolls out, makes some remarks about huge sales of the iPhone 4.
• "Bound to be a few issues reported when you have such a large share of the market", etc, etc.
• Some tap dancing about real-world performance, estimated signal strength, "every cell phone does it", and an assortment of contemptuous remarks or outright lies, much like the explanation of why apps aren't approved at the iPhone 4 reveal event.
• White model ship date announced, bumper cases quietly go on sale for $20 with no announcement, and Steve wraps up with some feel-good piece hoping to bury the issue(s).
• Apple's board of directors make a few phone calls to Steve's health care providers to see if he's up to date on payments for that liver he bought, hoping not to have their front man degrade into the next Ken Kutaragi.

I like the Microsoft process:

• Steve strolls out, throws some chairs.
• End of discussion.

Simple and direct.

Re:press conference?

[jollyreaper]

are they going to play for miami heat too?

This is slashdot. We don't understand your sports pop culture reference.

Re:Worst Case Scenario:

[should_be_linear]

"iPhone 5 - left hand version of iPhone 4".

Jedi Mind Trick

[Anonymous Coward]

Where Steve will attempt the farthest reaching Jedi mind trick ever! "These are not the Droids you are looking for ..."