Microsoft Talks Back To Google's Security Claims 528
Kilrah_il writes "Yesterday there was a piece about Google ditching Windows for internal use because of security concerns. Now Microsoft is fighting back, claiming its products are the most secure — more than Google's and Apple's. 'When it comes to security, even hackers admit we're doing a better job making our products more secure than anyone else. And it's not just the hackers; third-party influentials and industry leaders like Cisco tell us regularly that our focus and investment continues to surpass others.'"
Re:Some Helpful Advise (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft's products are completely secure!! Completely! You don't even need to bother with any more security "research". In fact, I've even seen Bruce Schneier running Windows on his laptop, so it's completely safe!!
Microsoft? (Score:5, Funny)
Secure products?
Crap.... woke up in the wrong universe again.. I hate when that happens.
Hi, I'm a hacker... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Microsoft? (Score:1, Funny)
Thank you for explaining what the hell is going on today. I was beginning to think of going out and buying the latest version of Tin Foil Hat, because I seem to have displaced mine. But waking up in the wrong universe again explains everything!
Re:Awwwwwww, crap! (Score:4, Funny)
Damn you, now i sprayed my tea all over my keyboard with the image of Steve doing a ventriloquist act with a puppet of clippy :) (since bill doesn't work there any more)
Re:Security? (Score:5, Funny)
They've added a lot of security. For example, when I debug an application on Windows 7, I have to click four dialog boxes instead of just one. If that isn't real security, I don't know what is.
Well, four is greater than one. A car has four wheels and a unicycle only has one. A car is more secure than a unicycle. In fact, in a collision between a car and a unicycle the passenger(s) in the car will always be safer - even if the car isn't moving. Based on the preceding car analogy I can confidently declare Windows 7 is more secure than a unicycle.
Re:Focus and Investment (Score:5, Funny)
Nice zero content marketingspeak there:
"...third-party influentials and industry leaders like Cisco tell us regularly that our focus and investment continues to surpass others."
Focus and investment. Notice "results" aren't on that list.
SECURITY ANALYST: WTF? You invest billions and billions of dollars trying to fix your software, and this is the best you can do? Christ on a kebab, man! Do your developers even know how to tie their own shoelaces? What do they do, sit their slack-jawed at their desks all day, watching the grass die on their Farmville plots and pissing their pants because they can't even remember where the toilet is?
MS MARKETING PERSON: sotto voce Hmmm, billions spent... developers unable to leave desks... Ah!
[WRITING] "industry leaders tell us regularly that our focus and investment continues to surpass others."
Re:Some Helpful Advise (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Some Helpful Advise (Score:5, Funny)
"Here's a hint. Say you are going to write a mean nasty program whos sole purpose is to make you money, and tons of it. "
Alright, who leaked Bill Gate's business plan?
Ford and Microsoft (Score:4, Funny)
I love the weasel words that come out in these kinds of discussions. "Most" - what is "most"? One competitor? (Maybe, Apple?).
This reminds me of that Ford commercial I saw a month or two ago, where some dude is talking about how Ford won some kind of "most improved" award. That's like a retarded child who goes from flunking everything to getting straight C- grades ... relatively speaking, that's a far greater improvement that the straight A student who starts getting a few A+ grades.
Nobody cares that Microsoft's "focus and investment continues to surpass others". When Microsoft's boat has thousands of holes in it and is sinking faster than the Titanic, is it anything to boast about that you have a great investment in a massive number of people highly focused on sticking their fingers in the holes? Compare that to Apple's boat, where they only have a modest investment because there are only a few holes.
Re:Some Helpful Advise (Score:3, Funny)
Running a server on windows is like taking your head and slamming in a doorway 100 times, its painful.
Not only painful, but the risk of brain damage is higher too!
Re:Both have problems (Score:1, Funny)
No, we just use the results of hacker competitions.
Re:Both have problems (Score:0, Funny)
Oh another retard wanking on about throughput, performance and their nVidia card. And thinking they are secure.
SEXLinux is protecting you, too bad he's got AIDS.
ACLs and MACs sure helped WinNT3.1. Or maybe it was the fact nobody used it. (Guess what NT has been always certified for all that stuff)
Let's see, malloc, malloc, malloc, oh the same adress all the time. ASLR? More like URALoSeR. "B-but it is enabled on my basement LFS install!" okay... just not on any of the millions of Ubuntu boxes Google uses.
Now let's write to that zone. Now jump to it, oh it runs on the latest Linsux on i386. DEP is not enabled for non-amd64 kernels because of no hardware support(Does it even exist?).
The only reason your company computers don't get pwnt is that you don't work for Google.
And trusting MacOSX with data you make money from? Plugged to the Internets? That is not only a joke, that's outright scary.
I am thinking of moving into the business of helping Graphic Designers to decrypt their home directories. I happen to be very good at guessing h4x0r passwords. ;) But I fear the police might not be as dumb as the people they are helping and add up 1+1.
Re:Both have problems (Score:5, Funny)
So what you're saying is that for the last two years Pwn2Own has been some sort of security Special Olympics? That's actually very interesting.
Did they ever have a BSD?
Re:Both have problems (Score:4, Funny)
Okey, I'm calling your bullshit.