Apple Patents "Enforceable" Ad Viewing On Devices 439
Rexdude writes "Apple has filed a patent that forces users to interact with an ad. FTFA: 'Its distinctive feature is a design that doesn't simply invite a user to pay attention to an ad — it also compels attention. The technology can freeze the device until the user clicks a button or answers a test question to demonstrate that he or she has dutifully noticed the commercial message. Because this technology would be embedded in the innermost core of the device, the ads could appear on the screen at any time, no matter what one is doing.'" We've been
following this story for awhile now but it seems to have broken into the mainstream.
Customer Service : My Screen is Broken (Score:5, Funny)
Hello Apple? I have a problem with my iPhone. Every time it shows an advertisement, the screen gets smashed. Can you help?
Nothing new, but I can imagine horrible outcomes.. (Score:5, Funny)
* Help, I am being attacked!
- Hold on sir, I will <click>
iPhone:
Video of security-spray followed by the question "Would this product have helped in your situation?"
Ansver: Yes
- <click> Sir, are you still there?
- Sir?
- hello?
* gurgle, gurgle. (bloody mess on ground...)
Re:Customer Service : My Screen is Broken (Score:1, Funny)
Buy a campaign of competitor's product... (Score:3, Funny)
Buy a campaign of competitor's product using this technology to advertize it.
Massive profit.
Want to bypass the enforceable advertising? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fortunately (Score:5, Funny)
Unfortunately some will (Score:3, Funny)
Re:And that sums up neatly... (Score:0, Funny)
That's not forced advertising... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:What has changed? (Score:3, Funny)
n900 (Score:4, Funny)
Does this patent mean Nokia can't use it on the N900 (and successors)? if so, "Good, well done Apple." Tough shit iPhone users though.
1984 (Score:2, Funny)
Maybe THAT's what all those people were doing when that crazy lady threw the sledgehammer through the screen.
Slashdot has a similar system (Score:1, Funny)
We've been following this story for awhile now but it seems to have broken into the mainstream.
... many readers of slashdot can't move on without demonstrating that they have dutifully noticed the grammatical error.
Re:Fortunately (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What has changed? (Score:4, Funny)
Interesting use of abbreviations. Why not go all out?
cld b an inbuilt sstm in/, 2 rpt som imp. FAs, just incaso som ppl miss'em.
gss they cld calc. the no. of comms. by unq commtrs n stories whc huv lowst r rpsted.
There.
Apple officially adopts Evil(tm) (Score:3, Funny)
After bricking unlocked iPhones, kicking applications off the iPhone store that might even slightly compete with iTunes in the far future and filing a wave of patents on basic well-known computer science as well as some of the most obnoxious ideas for advertising ever invented, Apple Inc. today filed a Form 8-K with the Securities and Exchange Commission declaring that it was openly adopting Evil as a corporate policy [today.com].
“Fuck it,” said Steve Jobs to an audience of soul-mortgaged thralls, “we’re evil. But our stuff is sooo good. You’ll keep taking our abuse. You love it, you worm. Because our stuff is great. It’s shiny and it’s pretty and it’s cool and it works. It’s not like you’ll go back to a Windows Mobile phone. Ha! Ha!”
Steve Ballmer of Microsoft was incensed at the news. “Our evil is better than anyone’s evil! No-one sweats the details of evil like Microsoft! Where’s your antitrust trial, you polo-necked bozo? We’ve worked hard on our evil! Our Zune’s as evil as an iPod any day! I won’t let my kids use a lesser evil! We’re going to do an ad about that! I’ll be in it! With Jerry Seinfeld! Beat that! Asshole.”
“Of course, we’re still not evil,” said Sergey Brin of Google. “You can trust us on this. Every bit of data about you, your life and the house you live in is strictly a secret between you and our marketing department. But, hypothetically, if we were evil, it’s not like you’re going to use Windows Live Search. Ha! Ha! I’m sorry, that’s my ‘spreading good cheer’ laugh. Really.”