Thieves Clear Out NJ Apple Store In 31 Seconds 459
theodp writes "An amazing surveillance tape of a burglary in progress at a New Jersey Apple Store shows five perps in masks smashing the plate-glass doors at 2:05 a.m., signaling to the security guard that they had a gun, and clearing off the display tables with the efficiency of a Indy 500 pit crew. The take: 23 MacBook Pros, 14 iPhones and 9 iPod touches in 31 seconds flat. Estimated value, based on average selling price: $46,345. No word yet on whether Microsoft's Laptop Hunters have alibis."
The police found (Score:0, Funny)
ObComment (Score:5, Funny)
Apple Store's next product release: iRobbed.
Yes, but (Score:5, Funny)
Well, the ads do say "Get a Mac", not "Buy..." (Score:5, Funny)
Some thieves broke into my college's computer labs and stole all the four-year-old iMacs. They turned their noses up at the brand new Dell Precisions in the same lab...
Yeah, but- (Score:5, Funny)
Re:On the bright side... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Well, the ads do say "Get a Mac", not "Buy..." (Score:4, Funny)
Machine sucked. Couldn't handle the snatch and grab. Would not steal again! F----------!
Upgrade cost (Score:5, Funny)
And will cost $52,838 to upgrade in another eight months.
Re:That's pathetic! They get dumber every day. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes, but (Score:5, Funny)
It wasn't a robbery! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:ObComment (Score:4, Funny)
Magsafe (Score:2, Funny)
iStupid (Score:3, Funny)
smash (Score:5, Funny)
Once again, a dramatic demonstration of Windows failure. I'm getting a little tired of these attack ads.
quick release power connectors (Score:5, Funny)
Steve Jobs notes the quick release power connectors, making the job up to 3 times faster than a PC.
You're not kidding, check out CNN's take (Score:5, Funny)
Quoth CNN's article [cnn.com]:
MacBooks: Laptops for a better class of criminal!
Re:ObComment (Score:5, Funny)
I expect the price Apple sets for iRobbed will be iWayrobbery.
Re:On the bright side... (Score:5, Funny)
Yes but those iPhones were treated incorrectly by the perpetrators. The one that exploded in the one guy's pants pocket was not supposed to be carried outside of a fashionable case. Everyone knows that sheesh.
The newscaster's commentary made my brain bleed. (Score:5, Funny)
He talks about the burglars being "savvy enough to wear masks" and being able to distracting an unarmed security guard. Last time I checked, these sorts of tactics qualified as being "not retarded," but not quite "criminal mastermind."
Re:That's pathetic! They get dumber every day. (Score:5, Funny)
WORK for the money and not have the years in jail.
Nah, they aren't worried about spending too much time in jail. Last week they stole some iPhones and found out how easy it is to jailbreak.
Re:That's pathetic! They get dumber every day. (Score:5, Funny)
"ass rapings. You know, from using the Macs."
They have the rounded corners, to make that slightly less painful.
Always thinking of the user Apple....
Re:Yes, but (Score:3, Funny)
Re:ObComment (Score:1, Funny)
It had better be durable enough to withstand the chafing of hard plastic and metal because everyone knows that the only things Apple users like to make love to are their Apple products.
Labor Day Sale! (Score:3, Funny)
It's a Blowout Labor Day Mac Sale on newjersey.craigslist.org! If you miss this, you'd better be dead... or in jail... and if you're in jail, BREAK OUT!
Re:That's pathetic! They get dumber every day. (Score:4, Funny)
Or better yet, the iChair.
Re:Amazing? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:ObComment (Score:3, Funny)
It had better be durable enough to withstand the chafing of hard plastic and metal because everyone knows that the only things Apple users like to make love to are their Apple products.
We also love your mum. However, unlike your mum, my Mac has no viruses, infections or diseases
I've heard this one before (Score:3, Funny)
Re:ObComment (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Amazing? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:You're not kidding, check out CNN's take (Score:4, Funny)
I'm guessing all the display model serial numbers are recorded. First time someone attempts to sync with iTunes, the device locks itself and displays the message that it is stolen property and should be returned to the hive mind...
You've got JAIL!!!!
Re:On the bright side... (Score:3, Funny)
god dammit, we all know the SI unit for shit is the Couric
Re:On the bright side... (Score:5, Funny)
I didn't notice them picking up any chargers either, man are they gunna pissed when the batteries run out!
Re:I've heard this one before (Score:3, Funny)
Apple Security (Score:5, Funny)
Re:On the bright side... (Score:2, Funny)
still though , thats what I call some serious ipwnage
Re:That's pathetic! They get dumber every day. (Score:5, Funny)
I'd go so far as to say...
GP was pointing out that, because they are black, they may have a harder time finding jobs (though, Jobs might just find them, after this). I doubt GP would be so brazen as to say because they are black they don't WANT jobs.
I mean, they stole Macbooks. They want Jobs. Very much.
Windows FAIL (Score:5, Funny)
Well it was catastrophic Windows FAIL that let the crooks into the secure area in the first place!
Re:Amazing? (Score:2, Funny)
You should make sure to be specific if you order this one [ebay.com].
Re:You're not kidding, check out CNN's take (Score:5, Funny)
Re:On the bright side... (Score:3, Funny)
The robbers who cleaned out the Apple store were in such a hurry because it was almost happy hour at the gay bar.
example usa news report? (Score:3, Funny)
if thats a prime example of a usa news report, no wonder the nation is "weird"...
Re:Amazing? (Score:2, Funny)
Beware of too much involvement with magic. I have a feeling that it can make your caps lock key get stuck.
Also, make sure that you're patient. You don't want to end up like sweetcouplebang68, who commented:
energy_by_teresa replied:
Scanning further on in the comments, more from sweetcouplebang68:
energy_by_teresa:
All she is saaaaaaying...is give magickque a chance.
Re:Amazing? (Score:5, Funny)
You expressed my thoughts perfectly. I don't have any mod points, so I bought you a "mod you up" spell. It should begin to take effect within 30 days. I'm afraid I haven't had a mail yet, but it's such a powerful spell that I'm sure that she'll be "completely drained" for the next several days.
$50k/hr for fencing huh? (Score:3, Funny)
you need to include the time spent planning, fencing, and then looking over your shoulder
I spent 5 hours last week fencing, and all i have to show for it is a bunch of bruises and a broken sabre. Where's my $250,000?
Re:No bars behind the glass? (Score:3, Funny)
They just need to cover the steel bars with a matte black cloth, topped with a gently pulsing white light.
Re:On the bright side... (Score:3, Funny)
I live in New Jersey, and I didn't even know we had an Apple Store. I didn't think my state was hip enough.
Re:On the bright side... (Score:4, Funny)
Probably however if Apple was really smart they woudln't have put an Apple Store in New Jersey... What where they thinking.
Re:On the bright side... (Score:3, Funny)
I'm still trying to figure out the proper method to get the Apple salesman to tear himself away from the young blond long enough to talk to me. Guess I'll have to stick with my new home-built AMD X4 machine.