Apple Rumored To Want To Buy Twitter

OSXGlitch writes "A post on TechCrunch this morning extends the rumor that Apple wants to buy Twitter with part of their massive cash reserve (estimated at nearly $29B). The Twitterverse is alive with speculation that the price being discussed is $700 million. This goes against reports that Twitter's founders aren't interested in selling, and that they estimate the value of the company at around $250 million. Two questions: How do we all feel about the possibility of Apple owning Twitter? And, can Twitter decline an offer that is nearly three times their estimated worth?"

One thing is for certain...

[randombilly]

It would, at the very least, make for a much better Tweet App on my iPhone....

Think of the ads....

[mevets]

Hello, this is a yahoo and I'm a twit...

Re:Value based on what, exactly?

[Anonymous Coward]

Datamining, cuntbucket.

Re:I will quit twitter

[Animaether]

your post is true both ways ;)

<QuantumG> I will quit twitter
<Twitter> and nothing of value will be lost

Twitter = Narcissistic dog snot

[Verminator]

First Steve kills the Newton.

Then, MacBooks with no FireWire.

Now this.

OK, OK, we get it already. You hate us.

Re:I will quit twitter

[Anonymous Coward]

i could offer you $50 to sell me your genitals

and nothing of value will be lost.

A good idea in theory

[Chasmyr]

iTwit anyone?

Re:The Guardian says this is hot air

[Earthquake Retrofit]

What happened to the good ol days of Apple speculative rumors, when the rumors were at least plausible?

kdawson?

Re:Twitter - "triumph of humanity"

[Anonymous Coward]

...

Either that or I'm an old fart.

your nick confirm the second option

--
eating bats rules !

Re:The Unofficial Dungeons & Dragons Rules Cyc

[darth_MALL]

Can you pare that down to 140 chars pls?

Re:The Guardian says this is hot air

[tomhudson]

I think Apple and Twitter are a perfect fit.

I think Microsoft and Twitter are a perfect fit.

There, fixed it for you.

New rumour:

"Microsoft, after cutting another 3,000 workers today, announced that they will be buying Twitter, the sms service that doesn't know how to make money, with the savings. In a cooperative deal with Disney, it will now be rebranded as TweetyPie Live, and will include such features as Microsoft Office integration.

As Steve Balmer said, "We're excited about this deal. Now you'll be able to update your spreadsheet literally in a tweet. And for all those laid-off Microsofties, you'll be able to dynamically update your resumes from the next version of Word, provided you respect the license not to tweet anything bad or derogatory, or publish negative benchmarks, or say that I need deodorant as much as RMS does.

We're also going to integrate it with Microsoft Live Search so that we can use Microsoft AdVantage to generate more pay-per-click revenue from the tweet stream. And we'll import the smilies from MS - Messenger. And give it a ribbon bar. And embed it in your car mp3 player, so you can tweet-n-drive. This will be big! It has the potential to be the next Zune!

Re:I will quit twitter

[knappe duivel]

That makes you a twitterquiter

Re:Don't care.

[zmollusc]

Some would say the twitters are the legion of dumb.

Re:Business Plan

[Mr. Underbridge]

So how much would that make goatse worth?

Let's just say its customer retention rate is very, very low. I'd pay $10 for it.

wut

[copponex]

I blve we r the smartest gen ever! My parents r dum and read 2$ newspprs 4 hours. I can read 30 secs on tw and get same info 4 0$ on my cpu!

news flash!

[Un pobre guey]

Cupertino, CA, May 5, 2009 - Apple computer is rumored to be buying several flattened cigarette butts on the northwest corner of Castro St. and Central Expressway, in Mountain View, CA for $650 million. The cigarette butts are approximately 40 cm from the nearest curb edge. A squashed aluminum can, possibly a beer can, is in the gutter nearby. A paper bag with the partially wrapped remains of a beef burrito are also lying in close proximity to the cigarette butts, but do not appear to be part of the deal. In any event, a crow has been attempting to unwrap the burrito during most of the morning, presumably to abscond with the remains. Apple spokespersons declined to discuss the deal on the record, but it was made known later that the cigarette butts were in the middle of Silicon Valley, and therefore extremely valuable for that reason alone. One of the cigarette butts reportedly has lipstick stains, but that has not yet been confirmed.

Re:One thing is for certain...

[Macrat]

Yeah, but you only got the lonely losers who read Twitter.

All the really interesting people were at the real parties.

Re:twitterverse?

[Clandestine_Blaze]

It must have been someone from the blogosphere *ducks*

Re:I will quit twitter

[Anonymous Coward]

And twitter's advertising budget is HUUUUGE!!!!

Re:I will quit twitter

[MeatBag PussRocket]

isin't being pedantic like being redundant, only more annoying?

Re:The Guardian says this is hot air

[Anonymous Coward]

Both are completely pointless and trendy? There are better ways to get the job done without using either? Both user bases have an attention span of less than 140 characters?

Re:Value based on what, exactly?

[benjamin.haley]

Twitter is the worlds best data source for modeling breakfast preferences. Do you realize how many advertising dollars will soon be pouring in from Capt'n Crunch and Count Chocula?

Apple wants the sockpuppets

[Culture20]

Are none of you seeing the big picture? Apple doesn't want to buy Twitter, the micro-blog service, they want to buy Twitter, the slashdot user. The actual GUY, not the username. They want a slave with a bajillion slashdot sockpuppets to moderate in articles just like this one.

Re:Was getting bored with Twitter anyway

[timholman]

Or to put it another way, twitter is the sound of millions of people collectively discovering they have nothing important to say.

Have you ever watched shows about tribes of baboons or chimps on PBS? And how they spend so much time grooming each other by picking the lice out of each others' hair?

That's the mental image I get with any social network site. Lots of monkeys, picking the lice out of each others' hair. Except with Twitter, the monkeys shriek about who has found the biggest and juiciest lice, right before they eat them.

Re:Value based on what, exactly?

[ceoyoyo]

But when you look past the bullshit, it's just the same shit OVER AND OVER with nothing of value offered whatsoever. People linking to already existing news stories. People retweeting non-sourced rumors. You could subscribe to a variety of RSS news feeds and get the same (but better) information, or go down to the local bar and listen to drunk guy offer his opinion.

So, like CNN then?

Re:I will quit twitter

[cdrudge]

Could it be a branding/goodwill tool that also helps them drive users to their search?

Right. Because Google really needed YouTube to drive people to their search.