How Apple Could Survive Without Steve Jobs 331
Posted
by
CmdrTaco
from the on-a-mountain-of-money dept.
from the on-a-mountain-of-money dept.
ThousandStars writes "The Wall Street Journal asks How Apple Could Survive Without Steve Jobs: 'Speculation about the continued reign of Mr. Jobs — which has popped up from time to time since his 2004 treatment for cancer — underscore how closely Apple's fashion-setting products are identified with its co-founder.'"
Not Possible (Score:5, Funny)
How Apple Could Survive Without Steve Jobs
No, I'm sorry, it's just not possible.
You see, cancer was also a chance to have an operation where they inserted a tiny chip into his body to track his heart beat. In turn, it relays a message of his heart beat to his iPhone which is always on him. That relays it to a satellite receiver which sends the message back down to earth to the triggers on 4 pounds of C4 placed carefully around the support base of each Apple building telling it not to blow up. If it doesn't receive that message, no more Apple.
A bit eccentric, I know--but most geniuses are.
Captain! Reality Distortion Field buckling! (Score:3, Funny)
She kenna take much more of this!
Re:About as well as Disney survived with Walt (Score:5, Funny)
Thats because it is owned by Steve Jobs. [Humor]
The same way they survived before? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not Possible (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This goes for many companies (Score:5, Funny)
I think Microsoft or Oracle would get along just fine without Steve Jobs.
Re:Absolutely not! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Absolutely not! (Score:5, Funny)
No.
Chanel, Hilfinger and many more have thrived or even gotten bigger after the death of the founder. Valentino also comes to mind and if I go look at a copy of Vogue I could give you a half a dozen other names.
But I'm not going to do that because I'm not gay. Really.
Honey, come here and tell these guys I'm not gay.
Apple without Jobs? (Score:5, Funny)
So, why does Apple need ST_VE? Do they need him to run around all day screaming, "Your designs suck, Jon! Make them MORE minimal!", "Bob, your code is SHIT! Fix it!", "Ron! Sell more STUFF!", "The rest of you, if you can't make everything INSANELY GREAT, no more free Jolt Cola in the cafeteria!"? So Apple needs him, how, to survive? If they need a 'visionary', they can always find another crazy 'Steve', here [microsoft.com]. In the long run, the company is well manned to maintain it's position and 'grow the brand' even if Jobs is relegated to prowling the dark halls at 1IL in his bathrobe and Birkenstocks.
I have the answer! (Score:5, Funny)
Hire Willy Wonka!!! If there is any character that is on par with Steve Jobs and his showmanship, it is Willy Wonka... preferably the Johnny Depp version, but even the Gene Wilder version would suffice.
Re:a man with a plan for better or worse (Score:3, Funny)
You just gave me the best idea ever to replace jobs. Hire Chef Gordon Ramsey, of Hells Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares fame. He has no problem telling you that your finely crafted and prepared dish makes him want to vomit, and call the police on you for attempted murder. He's great at reducing people to tears! And, they could make it part of a reality TV series, to increase brand awareness even more!
Re:Absolutely not! (Score:3, Funny)
She looks better than sonic youth
Have you seen her lately?
Re:More than preparation (Score:5, Funny)
maybe Bill gates would like a second chance without all the MS baggage to try out his visions.
Re:More than preparation (Score:5, Funny)
You owe me a new keyboard.
Re:Not Possible (Score:3, Funny)
But Microsoft is going to parachute in on us! They're going to shoot some of our innocent babies. They'll torture our children! They'll torture some of our people here! They'll torture our seniors! The ones that they take captured, they're gonna let them grow up and be dummies! We didn't commit suicide, we committed an act of revolutionary suicide protesting the conditions of an inhumane world.
Agreed (Score:2, Funny)
maybe Bill gates would like a second chance without all the MS baggage to try out his visions.
...he needs new glasses first.
For real (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Uh (Score:1, Funny)
Not always. [darwinawards.com]
Re:Absolutely not! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:WTF? (Score:3, Funny)
Seeing as what happened to his balls, I think you meant EX-Man.