iPod: This Season's Must-Have for Muggers

KH writes "West Midlands police have issued a stark warning to iPod users: ditch the white headphones or pay the price." Apparently, muggers recognize the headphones and target passersby for muggage.

Mugging

[panxerox]

Well people will kill each other over sneakers so to mug for an Ipod doesn't surprise me. From the article: "The Sun quotes one iPod representative as saying: "There are guys who?d rather be robbed than change the color of the headphones." " = Darwin strikes again.

mugging

[Anonymous Coward]

thats how i got mine :)

That's why

[Anonymous Coward]

I keep the mini-iPod in a ... hidden place... that's very snug. Muggers never look there, and really, who wants to pull the cord out of there?

That Sucks

[General Newcomb]

Like my mother used to say: "Can't we have nice things!"

My iPod case holds pepper spray

[The I Shing]

This iPod-carrying bon vivant isn't going to hand over his beloved music player without a fight.

I've hacked my iPod to shoot pepper spray! Ha!

The Next Apple Innovation

[Nom du Keyboard]

iPod -- with LoJack!

The solution to the dying iPod battery is ...

[meshmar]

let a mugger have it and have your insurance buy you a replacement.

Muggage?

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude, I'm, like totally understanding of your verbage, but, like, there might not be others, that, like, know.
But rock on, Dude! Awesome!

Self defense

[Anonymous Coward]

How about an iMace accessory?

Well

[Anonymous Coward]

That's why I clip mine to the back of my belt. Right next to my HK .40 USP.

muggage?

[gbjbaanb]

target passersby for muggage

eh? 'excuse me sir, I noticed you passing by and wondered if you'd like some hot, sweet muggage. only $1 a bowl.' :)

hmmm...

[BattleTroll]

Mugger: "Your I-Pod or your life..."

Mr Benny: ...

Mugger: I SAID, your I-POD or your LIFE!

Mr Benny: Hold on! I'm thinking!

buhbumpbump...

Re:That's why

[DarkFencer]

So that's why the iPod Mini sold out!

I was wondering why people were paying more for less GB. I gues size does matter :)

Help for the lonely among us

[nizo]

Now that we know this our social lives will improve, since getting mugged is better than no social life at all.

Re:Mugging

[sTalking_Goat]

I'm going to buy some white headphones for my 4lb 1996 Sony Discman. Maybe finally I'll get a chance to try out this new tazer I bought on Ebay...

Re:So it looks like

[morelife]

Even muggers recognize that the higher price of Apple hardware goes into quality.

Most muggers don't realize they'll be replacing that little battery for $99 in a couple weeks' time.

Re:That's why

[Nom du Keyboard]

I keep the mini-iPod in a ... hidden place... that's very snug. Muggers never look there, and really, who wants to pull the cord out of there?

And you probably can't wait for them to add a sub-woofer in the next model.

Punishment... DEATH

[Squareball]

I think that repeat theifs should be killed. They aren't stealing just property but really they are stealing a part of their victim's life. Say it takes me 30 hours to earn the money for the iPod, if I get mugged and they steal my iPod, they just stole 30 hours of my life. It's as if they tied me up for 30 hours. I just think that people who steal life from others should have their life taken away from them.

Re:Mugging

[Liselle]

Well, I guess that's one advantage of the iPod's high price. Since I'm not the type to carry around $400 in cash, I bought it with my CC, and that gives me a bit of theft protection. :P

Re:The Next Apple Innovation

[Anonymous Coward]

Christ no! They'd call it iLoJack.

Re:Mugging

[MikeXpop]

On the opposite side of the spectrum...

Headline: "Got a crappy mp3 player? Want to make people think you're cool and important? Just hide it and wear iPod headphones! You'll be the talk of the town!"

make sure you actually have the ipod...

[mobiux]

and aren't just wearing white earbuds to make yourself look cool.

The mugger may get pissed and pop a cap in your ass when he find you only have an old walkman.

Re:Punishment... DEATH

[Neil Blender]

By your logic, you should be put to death. You just stole some of my life because I read your inane post.

the mugger catches you alone and...

[lotsofno]

Mugger: so is that an ipod you got there mate?
Guy: uh, yeah. ::mugger takes out knife::
Mugger: alright, hand it over. ::mugger takes ipod and runs off:: ::mugger comes back::
Mugger: uh, you haven't had this for 18 months or so by any chance?

Re:muggage?

[sTalking_Goat]

total Buffy speak.

Next time I'm subjected to some muggage I'll whip out Mr. Pointy and deal out some slayage.

And they claim language is dead...

So does this mean...

[Anonymous Coward]

Putting a sticker that says "Don't mug people." on the headphones won't work?!?!?

Re:So it looks like

[da3dAlus]

"Most muggers don't realize they'll be replacing that little battery for $99 in a couple weeks' time."

Then YOU apparently don't realize they'll just be mugging someone else in a couple weeks' time. Duh :)

RIAA

[The_Mystic_For_Real]

I wonder if the RIAA will sue these muggers for stealing copyrighted music? Knowing the RIAA, they are more likely to sue the victims for distributing copyrighted material.

Re:make sure you actually have the ipod...

[tanguyr]

The mugger may get pissed and pop a cap in your ass when he find you only have an old walkman.

depends on what it's wrapped in [penny-arcade.com]

Re:That's why

[Anonymous Coward]

The way your dad looked at it, this iPod-mini was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this iPod up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the iPod. I hid this uncomfortable piece of plastic and metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the iPod to you.

Turn the tables

[felonious]

Use the headphones but plug them into an old, big-ass, tape deck that's playing "Wham" (George Michael) on it. Realizing what's going on the mugger should shit his/her pants and run for his/her life...

Re:The Next Apple Innovation

[Nom du Keyboard]

Christ no! They'd call it iLoJack.

And considering that it plays music, and Apple is known for frequent updates, would the next model be jLoJack?

Re:That's why

[Profane MuthaFucka]

Or, keep that hidden place un-hidden. When was the last time a nudist was mugged in your neighborhood? Never? See, it works!

Re:Mugging

[Anonymous Coward]

Indeed. If we ditch the white headphones, the robbers will have won. In the war against robbery, we must continue to wear our earphones and go on with our daily lives.

Re:Mugging

[lazuli42]

Changing the color of the headphones won't help much. Muggers will just start targeting joggers that wear Blueberry, Tangerine, Lime, Grape, Stawberry, or Bondi Blue headphones.

Amazing

[Anonymous Coward]

I really wonder how they steal it from you WHILE you are wearing the headphones and listening to it and not be aware when the sound's gone... :-)

Re:Mugging

[Beatbyte]

don't be bitter you got mugged and lost your iPod ;-)

Re:White headphones

[peeping_Thomist]

Sure they sound better than most earbuds[...]I've yet to take the white ones out of package they came in.

You listened to them while they were still in the package?

Fun

[wowbagger]

One fake iPod case: $50.
One receiver: $50
One transmitter: $50
One kilo C4: $150

One mugger exploding when he runs more than 50 feet away from you: Priceless.

Re:hmmm...

[LostCluster]

Mugger: I SAID, your I-POD or your LIFE!
iGeek: Uhm, what's the difference?

Re:That's why

[trentblase]

Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.

New iPod accessory?

[AragornSonOfArathorn]

This opens up the market for 3rd-party iPod cases with exploding dye packs, like banks use when they get robbed. Good luck trying to sell a bright-pink-stained iPod! ;)

RIAA Will Sue the muggers ...

[lorenc]

for stealing mp3's ....

Re:Punishment... DEATH

[DarkBlackFox]

That's easy. Just alert the RIAA they stole your iPod without paying them license fees.

Re:Yeah, or the thief may have just asked...

[poot_rootbeer]

"He must have known I was wearing an iPod because of the white headphones."

Or... because you responded in the affirmative when he asked you if you were listening to an iPod?

HOW ELSE COULD HE HAVE KNOWN?

Re:Mugging

[Cpt_Kirks]

Or pack it with C4 and a remote detonator.

Get mugged, then help clean up the gene pool!

Re:That's why

[Cpt_Kirks]

What happens when you fart?

That's how you switch playlists.

Re:hmmm...

[Neil Blender]

Mugger: I SAID, your I-POD or your LIFE!
iGeek: Uhm, what's the difference?

I think you mean:

Mugger: I SAID, your I-POD or your LIFE!
iGeek: Ell Oh Ell, the jokes on you - I don't have even have a life!

Just make sure not to mug this woman

[j1ggl3x]

or else meet certain death... [liquidgeneration.com]

Re:Mugging

[Joecuba]

You insensitive clod! He was joking!!

Dear Hambone

[Letter]

Dear Hambone,

This is a Slash-mugging! Close your browser and give me your laptop!

Now!
Letter

Re:Mugging

[Rallion]

In all seriousness, I'd love a chance to really try out a tazer, even if it involved getting mugged. Really.

"Give me your--"

*bzzt* *thud*

"AWESOME!"

This is stealing!

[Lord of Ironhand]

Do these people even realize that taking someone's iPod is stealing? Would you illegally download music from the internet? No? Then why don't you stop stealing(!) iPods?

Oops, nevermind...

Though I'm sure there's a Soviet Russia post to be made out of this...

Police Intelligence...err...

[thrillbert]

Obviously it is easier for the police to "give a stern warning" than to use this new "bees to honey" approach at getting more crooks off the streets.

Scenario:

• 1) Send undercover officer wearing white headphones walking down street.

• 2) Crook aproaches with knife, pull out gun from pocket where iPod is supposed to be and introduces himself.

• 3) Profit!!

---
Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.

Get some headphones

[zakezuke]

I want to get an Ipod and use my old pair of big ass 70s style radio shack headphones. big and bulky with the 1/4 inch jack and cover up your entire ears.

http://www.radioshack.com/product.asp?catalog%5F na me=CTLG&category%5Fname=CTLG%5F007%5F003%5F004%5F0 00&product%5Fid=33%2D1176

While they can be spotted at a distance, a mugger might thing I have a portable 8-track and not steal from me.

Re:muggings

[prockcore]

my favorite part of this story is when you were arrested for failing to have a CCW permit.

Re:Mugging

[damiena]

If you outlaw white earphones, only outlaws will have white earphones.

Re:Yeah, or the thief may have just asked...

[Neil Blender]

I was robbed once. This guy asked me if that bulge in the back of my pants was a wallet. I said, "Why yes, it is." He then asked if it was full of money, to which I relied, "Loads."

Re:Mugging

[selfabuse]

just so long as his next words weren't going to be "license, registration and proof of insurance"

Re:Fun

[lrucker]

What happens if you walk too close to malfunctioning Cell tower, putting out the trigger frequency.

You get a Darwin Award.

Re:Mugging

[Frymaster]

You've obviously never been mugged.

mugged? i thought the only people who ripped off apple was microsoft.

Re:Mugging

[SatanicPuppy]

Lol. They should add this to those commercials...You know, shadow of a person dancing around with white headphones...Shadow of another person sneaking up on them...Wham! Talkin 'bout my generation!

you know the story...

[blackmonday]

As soon as the mugger steals one, a newer cheaper iPod comes out for mugging the next week. The vicious cycle repeats infinitely.

Re:Mugging

[phoneyman]

Tazers and other "stun guns" are a waste of time and complete garbage for civilian self-defence. They work for cops because cops have batons, pepper spray, guns and backup to go along with them.

My understanding is that they work mainly with pain compliance (despite what the dreck^H^H^H^H^Hmarketting literature says), and pain compliance is not a tool I would choose to use on a mugger. Drunk Uncle Bob, sure.

Pierre

Re:Without a Doubt this Topic will Burn Through...

[spood]

Wow, all you have to do to get Insightful mods is ask for them? Don't forget to say please.

Now will someone please mode me Funny.

Re:That's why

[the argonaut]

You sir are a cut and paste god among men. I salute you.

Too bad you're an AC and can't get proper credit for your work.

Almost shat out my iPod i laughed so hard.

Re:The solution to the dying iPod battery is ...

[prockcore]

The hypothetical mugger is going to have a hell of a time getting away without getting shot in the back.

I think you missed the part where the mugger took your $300 gun as well as your $300 ipod.

Re:The Next Apple Innovation

[senatorpjt]

Yeah, because threatening a guy at knifepoint is one thing, but most criminals draw the line at pirating music.

Re:hmmm...

[sakusha]

It would probably go something more like this:

Mugger: Your iPod our your life...

Mr. Benny: What?

Mugger: I SAID, your iPOD or your LIFE!

Mr. Benny: WHAT??

Mugger: Gimme that damn iPod!

Mr. Benny: What?

RoTK

[Aqua_Geek]

Why do you lay your troubles on an already troubled mind? Can't you see we grow tired of your... malcontent - your... fearmongering?

Too long have you watched my iPod. Too long have you haunted its backlight.

Re:Mugging

[theantix]

Eh, why stop there? We need to take a pre-emptive measure and kill anyone who we can prove has a knife on them* and looks at an iPod owner in a manner that can be interpreted as threatening.

Note:
* completely fabricated evidence should still count as proof, if we really don't like them.

I think you meant IPod ownership infringment

[Anonymous Coward]

Mugging is not theft.

It is property infringment. You can not steal atoms, neutons, or electrons.

You have done nothing wrong.

I think tonight I will go out and infringe on somebody wallet ownership rights. Then I may infringe on some convience stores "cash register contents" ownership right.

Don't cal me a thief, I am simply infringing and the person who makes the wallet only get a tiny amount of what the guy pays for it anyway.

Re:Fun

[pvera]

I don't think you want to blow one kilo of C4 from 50 feet away!

Re:Mugging

[Llywelyn]

You've obviously never gotten a joke. It's something to look forward to.

just tape 2 $100 bills to your hat.

[purduephotog]

It will distract the mugger so that he demands your hat, and you will escape with your precioussssssssss ipod intact.

This procedure also helps to hide ketchup stains on your shirt.

Re:Mugging

[Snocone]

Here's an easy way to get the same effect.

1) Locate a dairy farm that uses electric fences to restrain cattle. You can tell it's an electric fence because it's one thin strand of wire at waist height strung through plastic insulators on the fence posts, and the cows are giving it a rather wide berth.
2) Walk up to the electric fence.
3) Whip out your dick.
4) Piss on the electric fence.

This, I posit, will remove *all* further desire on your part to play with high voltage electricity. For that matter, it will take a fair while afterwards for you to regain ANY "desire" to "play", if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Re:Mugging

[Beek]

You've got it all wrong... In the year 2004, we would kill anyone who can't prove they don't have a knife on them.

Re:Mugging

[Xeleema]

just so long as his next words weren't going to be "license, registration and proof of insurance"

No, especially if it's "...license, registration, and proof of insurance."
Those identity theives are real clever.

Sharpie to the rescue!

[Anonymous Coward]

Step 1: choose desired sharpie color
Step 2: disguise your white earphones using said sharpie
Step 3: fear not vial muggers

Sharpie... defeats cd copy protection, thwarts muggers, what next (only time will tell). Warning - may result in slight discoloration in ear canal.

Re:This is stealing!

[xenoandroid]

"Though I'm sure there's a Soviet Russia post to be made out of this..."

In Soviet Russia, the iPod steals you!
In Soviet Russia, the music illegally downloads you!

Asking for it, really

[seymansey]

Heh, when i bought my ipod, i didn't bother using the stock earphones, granted i tried them, but i find them very good. Plus i didn't want to show the world that i owned an ipod and so carried on using my beloved Bang and Olufsen earphone ( They may cost $150 but they are the dogs ). I lent my ipod earphones to a mate who had a crappy 128MB MP3 player and he had the pleasure of people asking him if he had an ipod. Plus he looked stupid when he pulled out a battered MP3 player

worse than headphones: mug-me cases

[timothy]

Can't find the link right now (damn badly indexed megaretailer sites!), but I've seen a fry's a bulky waist-worn iPod pouch with (get this) a series of blinking LEDs on the outside that pulse their blueness to the world.

I wonder if they blink Morse for "mug wearer -- iPod enclosed ... mug wearer -- iPod enclosed... mug wearer - iPod enclosed ..."

timothy

Re:Mugging

[romper]

If you buy it on apple.com you get free engraving. I think I'll engrave mine "STOLEN".

Re:That's why

[ElYonderboy]

Too bad the battery crapped out only 18 months into the internment.

So to speak.

Re:iPod = lame

[Saturninus]

But it's so sexy that I could make love to it!

Come to Hong Kong...

[TheOtherKiwi]

In Hong Kong there are plenty of rip-off white headphones so mugging these people is likely to get you a $10 FM radio :-)

Simple scenario

[^_^x]

"I'm so cool... I could've got an MP3 player that does more for less, but instead I sunk half a grand into this shiny Apple one! Marvel, peasants! Marvel at my excessive wealth!"

"*YOINK!*"

"Damn! Ah well, the battery was starting to go anyway. I'll have to buy another one tomorrow."

Re:Mugging

[facelessnumber]

Nah, stun guns don't paralyze... I used one once. I've never seen my little brother get outta bed so fast in my life.

The defense against this...

[vudufixit]

Set up a decoy squad of people with nothing but really twangy country and western tunes in their ipods. I doubt many muggers will try it again after they get a taste of ol' Merle in his prime.

Re:Punishment... DEATH

[commodoresloat]

and for the record, I said repeat offenders.

Well, you did just post again.

Re:Mugging

[Anonymous Coward]

Nerd 1: Oh, don't worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves.
Snake: Uh, wallet inspector!
Nerd 2: Oh, here you go. I believe that's all in order.

Re:Mugging

[Pig Hogger]

2) Walk up to the electric fence.

Some 30 years ago, I spent the summer on a farm. Trying to get the best of the city boy, the redneck told me to have a grab at the electric fence. I walked to the fence, and made it look I had a really good grip on the wire by wrapping my hand around it, but not touching the wire itself.

I stood there, taking my best innocent air, and staring at him like saying "now what"???

He was puzzled, got off the tractor, and walked straight to the fence which he touched pretty intently.

At that very moment, the relay decided to send a good charge which sent the redneck something like 3 feet up in the air, landing on his ass in the freshly ploughed field.

He said nothing at all, and never played smartass again with me...

Penalties for iPod Mugging

[SamSpectre]

Other than theft... It would be interesting (satisfying?) if the RIAA would bring the hammer down on these muggers for turning legit music into stolen music! Suddenly a petty crime would now get a $10,000 fine per song (or whatever the absurd fine is).

Re:Mugging

[plumpy]

Fuck that, if you're in Portland, OR, even if it IS a cop, it might still be a good idea to taze the fuck out of him [theworldlink.com]. Better than ending up dead, right?

As a Mugger I can attest to this

[Anonymous Coward]

My current take is about 37 iPods from stupid-stupid college kids.
One sad fucker tried to fight back, as though his stupid toy was worth more than his life.
Of course, a couple slugs to his now bloodpudding chest convinced him otherwise.

See my e-bay auctions! iPods all capacities, even minis!

Oh, by the way, I note that some of you nerds are just
waiting for some "bad guy" to mug you so you can
fight back for the sake of American Way, Jesus, and Apple Pie.
To which I say: HAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA.

Re:Penalties for iPod Mugging

[m1chael]

What would be more funny would be if the RIAA sued the victims for filesharing!

RIAA should offer protection

[CherniyVolk]

If they'll send a teenager to court for offering a gig or two of mp3s, surely they'll happily beat the life out of a mugger that steals 10-20-40GB of mp3s!

Re:Mugging

[weg]

Well, get an old ipod, take it apart and place the taser in the ipod casing, and connect the probes to the ear-phones... now wait until you get mugged, give the mugger the modified ipod an then RUN!

Re:Turn the tables

[Anonymous Coward]

Use the headphones but plug them into an old, big-ass, tape deck that's playing "Wham"

I think I'd rather be mugged at gunpoint.

Re:Downside of portable electronics

[JamieF]

>I was thinking of the classic bump and theft actually. Bump into a person, while they are stunned, take their crap, say pardon me and move on.

Don't you think they'd notice that the music had suddenly stopped at exactly the same time that you bumped into them?

"What iPod? Oh, this one in my hand? No, no, this one is mine. Uh, yeah, I always carry it around without any headphones. Yours is, um, back there on the sidewalk somewhere, I think."