Al Gore Joins Apple's Board Of Directors

zzxc writes "News.com.com reports that Al Gore has been chosen to be on Apple's board of directors. Apple has a press release with more information. According to the press release, 'Al brings an incredible wealth of knowledge and wisdom to Apple from having helped run the largest organization in the world--the United States government' and 'He has remained an active leader in technology--launching a public/private effort to wire every classroom and library in America to the Internet.' The inventor of the internet should be a valuable asset to Apple."

Internet inventor gets first tech job

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't it great that the inventor of the internet has gotten his first tech job?

trolls

[Anonymous Coward]

sooooo mmmmaaannnnyyy tttrrroooollllssss

Inventions

[zzxc]

Just in!

Gore invents AppleTalk

Gore invents candy-colored computer

Gore invents small music player

Gore invents fast new web browser

Gore invents XUL (Hyatt mysteriously fired)

Gore invents new GUI for BSD

Re:Internet inventor gets first tech job

[bunseki suru]

Hey now - that sounds like sarcasm.

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[account_deleted]

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Makes sense... for Gore

[sib888]

I hope Gore's personality doesn't rub off. We'll be back to beige boxes before you know it...

vote different.

-

Not Crazy Eddie?

[ralico]

Apple's board should have chosen Crazy Eddie [crazyeddie.com]
That way Apple would be insanely great at insane prices.

oh oh

[deanj]

I bet they go back to beige macs....

You are hearing me talk

[Anonymous Coward]

<monotone>And it went like beep beep beep</monotone>

You've got to count all the votes

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe he can get the Mac's marketshare recalculated!

In a shocking development on Slashdot today...

[sockit2me9000]

The same joke was told 20 times in the space of five minutes. Said one poster, "It was like we all had the same idea , boy was it freaky." The impetus of the bizarre occurrence of synchronicty was a story about Al Gore becoming a member of Apple's board of Directors. "I mean, what's the chances that we would all have the SAME idea at the SAME time, it's not like this was an obvious joke," said one poster who declined to be identified. Another was heard to whistle underneath his breath and say, "That's it, I believe in God now." The Vatican was unavailable for comment, but a low giggle was heard to emanate from the Holy Sees residence at roughly the same period. Commander Taco, upon hearing this said, near tears, "It's like we told a joke that mad the whole world laugh, AT THE SAME TIME!" In other news, the much-heralded cliche filter on slashdot crashed at roughly the same time, though it could not be confirmed if the two were related.

Re:Insert Internet Inventor Joke Here

[jo42]

Excellent! This means Apple will have much better AlGoreithms in their code...

What? Another job?

[crumbz]

The guy already was elected president...er...umm...yeah.

I'll just go back to my TPS reports...

Re:correction

[Cid Highwind]

after all he was vice president of the united states!

You need a better argument. After all, Dan Quayle was vice president, too!

Keeping a beat

[ChicagoFan]

Now iTunes will use the most up-to-date Al Gore Rhythms!

ChicagoFan

Re:Internet inventor gets first tech job

[sporty]

Hey, it works for Balmer and Gates. After all, Developers!

[/joke, nevermind]

Re:Inventions

[Surak_Prime]

The above looks like someone playing Civilization. I'd shift some resources away from science, and more towards luxuries, or the Al Gorians may get unrestful now that we're at war.....

Re:I have to go hear him lecture next week

[kinnell]

Anyone have any questions you want me to ask him?

Ask him whether he prefers vi or emacs

Re:Politics

[Shenkerian]

(Gore was the one who flunked out of college while Bush was the one with an MBA from Harvard)

If by "flunked out of college" you meant "graduated cum laude from Harvard (1969), then from Vanderbilt Divinity School (1972), then from Vanderbilt Law School (1976)," you're absolutely right.

Spot the trend

[Drishmung]

Well, as Apple is well known for setting trends, how long before some other companies start doing the same? Which politicians will we soon be seeing at?

• Microsoft
• Dell
• SUN
• Oracle
• VA-Linux

I think I'll vote the Cowboy Neal option myself.

MIT's prank at Gore's Commencement Speech

[megazoid81]

Buzzword Bingo [mit.edu]: MIT's way of having fun when the 'most technologically savvy politician' visited the Institute for Commencement.

But in a surprise decision...

[Elias Israel]

But later, in a surprise decision, the Supreme Court threw out the posting, and placed George W. Bush on the Apple board instead.

Upon hearing of the stunning turn-around, Gore refused to leave the Apple board room, clinging fiercely to the furniture and sometimes hiding under the board room table.

After seven hours, Apple security guards were finally able to remove Gore from the premises and send him on his way.

Gore was visibly shaken after the defeat and called it "a dark day for America," citing the line of environmentally-friendly computers he had hoped to encourage Apple to produce by a wave of his majestic hand. "I took the initiative in creating the Internet," said Gore, "and look what has become of it. Without someone to call new environmentally-friendly computers into existence by detached fiat, what will become of the American worker?"

Sources said Gore had returned home to begin regrowing his beard through a long, arduous process of sitting on the living room sofa for weeks on end and subsisting on a diet of Cheetos.

if he is such a loser....

[kingkade]

...why do you know his name and he doesn't know yours, hmmmmm?

Can you feel the universe bending to fit your perceptions? Oooooh, i can.

A mysterious, robotic voice.

[CleverNickName]

Whenever I turn on my iBook, this robotic voice says, "You are hearing me talk."

It suddenly makes sense, now.

If you need me, I'll be parked under the Sun Sphere.

More Details

[Guppy06]

The Apple press release goes on to say that Al Gore's membership on the board will be a unique one. His duties will involve presiding over board meetings and, yet he will only be allowed to cast a vote in the event of a tie between the other members.

Mr. Gore was quoted as saying "Damn it, not again!"

Seems like a perfect match ...

[Ninja Programmer]

When I think of Al Gore and Apple together, why do the words "Runner Up" keep coming to mind?

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

HA HA HA HA HA, +5 Funny!

[iSwitched]

You were joking right?

So you're going to boycott any company with assholes on their boards of directors, are ya?

Better start doing some serious investigating, since 99% of the big-boys in this country are gonna have someone that someone somewhere hates on their boards. Looks like you're gonna have a tough time buying anything in this country, and that includes sleeping, eating, hell, even wiping your ass after you crap.

Best of luck to you.

Re:oh oh

[Peterus7]

Haha, the best macs.

Still, I can just imagine Gore in a switch ad.

"I used to work with a PC. Then I lost the election all because of a screw up with ballot countings. The vote counting computer in florida was running windows, and it crashed, and thus I lost. That's when I switched to mac, and I've been a happy man ever since."

"My name is Al Gore, and I AM president."

Re:Gore didn't claim that

[JustAnOtherCodeSerf]

> Al Gore never claimed he invented the internet, and anyone who jokes about it is just showing their ignorance. (sorry timothy)

Well, ignorance OR perhaps that they have sense of freakin humor.

Re:Is anybody else weirded out by this?

[IdahoEv]

I sent a similar email to friends. Here's my housemate's reply.

Don't you see?

Apple has always had a vision of a better world, but Steve was always too 'out there' to lead it. Now they have a leader, and they can start a new government of the world. In this new country (which as yet only has territory in the hearts of the faithful) everything works the way it ought to, peace and communication are the order of the day, republicanism is outlawed, and the new G5 clocks up to 28.6 GHz. California (with the exception of Orange County) will immediately secede from the Union and join the new government of the world. Others will follow. The most brilliant part of the plan is this, and it's clear that Apple has been setting this up for two decades now: In 6 months to three years, Microsoft will offer a markedly similar (although slightly inferior) government and the rest of the world will adopt it.

Peace and harmony reign!!!

Finally, it all makes sense.

Scott

If true then

[fudgefactor7]

expect the end of all new and cool looking Apple products. Al Gore is the most dull person on the planet, expect a new Apple direction to reflect that. Maybe they'll go with the beige box idea, that's pretty well boring.

Re:Is this the same Al Gore that sold us out?

[SoupIsGoodFood_42]

...George W. Bush uses a Mac too

Well, they are designed to be easy to use. "Apatche web serva?! Can I c'ntrol our choppers from this?"