Apple Deals with Devil, Communists

rschroeder writes "I keep thinking that this article can't be real, but it looks like it. Among the juicier bits: 'The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (Mac OS X) is called... Darwin! That's right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an 'Open Source' license, which is just another name for Communism.'" Yes, of course. And I am still waiting for Jesux to be released.

chmod 666 - the devil's command

[LordSah]

The bit at the bottom about the satanic command 'chmod 666' is particularly amusing.

It makes you wonder if this guy did any reading about anything tech related at all, or if he just got all his info from his wacko friends.

From the article...

[ocie]

Dr. Richard Paley is a teacher of Divinity and Theobiology at Fellowship University

Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, Theochemistry, Theophysics and Theoengineering as well.

Apparently this is what happens...

[Navius Eurisko]

when trolls find Jesus. :)

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Netcraft Says...

[bjtuna]

The site members.truepath.com is running Apache/1.3.22 (Unix) mod_perl/1.26 PHP/4.0.6 on Linux.

That is all.

Fucking HELL!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

This fucking bastard has pissed me off for the last time!!! Everyone DoS this motherfucker:

64.28.67.150

Thank you. A shiny new penny for the first to knock his flimsy little PII offline!!

Maybe they should have made a deal with devil....

[mohaine]

and got a better server.

Re:From the article...

[Coryoth]

Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, Theochemistry, Theophysics and Theoengineering as well.

I remeber seeing a "Theological Engineering" paper once. It had such wonderful questions as: If 30ml of red wine is placed in the mouth of a devout catholic, and transubstantiation takes 3s, how many joules of energy are produced?

Jedidiah

Sign of the Beast!

[dcavens]

Really- people should read the article. It's rolling on the floor funny. It must be a hoax though. No one could be this funny without it being on purpose.

My favorite quote: (right near the bottom)

ADDENDUM IV (4/21/2002): Apparently anti-Christian zealots -- as well as shocked Christians who have unwittingly become Mac owners -- are linking to this article, which explains the large number of emails we have received on this topic. More clues have come in showing the dark nature of Apple Computers. According to one of our readers, the new MacOS X contains another Satanic holdover from the "BSD Unix" OS mentioned above; to open up certain locked files one has to run a program much like the DOS prompt in Microsoft Windows and type in a secret code: "chmod 666". What other horrors lurk in this thing?

Re:From the article...

[PD]

In Theomathematics, pi is defined to be 3.0.

hrm

[interiot]

view source, see:

• <META name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">

Lickable?

[sweatyboatman]

They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

I've been licking the buttons on my Dell laptop, and that's okay, but have you tasted the new IMac? Apple has again leaped way ahead in terms of user interface.

Lickable Buttons. Hmmm... I wonder if he's thinking about those candies you used to get at street-fairs and the like which were just little dots on a roll of paper. Or perhaps those weren't really candies and this is all one long, crazy trip...

Sweat

Re:Netcraft Says...

[Spy Hunter]

Heh, nobody better tell them that their sites are being served by a daemon...

Hey, them's fightin' words!!!!

[trailerparkcassanova]

Apparently the Darwin OS is not the original creation of Apple Computers but is instead based off of an older, obsolete OS called "BSD Unix".

Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!

This Is All True

[e2d2]

This is "All True"*. It all started with the insidious darwinist plot using the fluoridation of the drinkng water supply, thereby contaminating our precious bodily fluids. This is just one of many plots master minded by the...I've already said too much....

* All True actually meant to serve as placeholder for complete and utter bullshit

Why so little Satan on Slashdot?

[sam_handelman]

While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. [sic]

That reminds me, how come I haven't seen any instructions from Satan, our lord and master, on slashdot recently?

Like so many other computer elites, I depend on Slashdot to keep me up-to-date on the will of the Great Deciever - stuff for nerds, stuff that matters, SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! In fact, I'd like to see less social commentary / comedy on slashdot, more tekspiel and a lot more devil worshipping. Toward this end, I propose that we boycott Slashdot this Walpurgisnacht, and only post responses that relate to our obsequious obedience to the Prince of Darkness.

Also, the moderation system is insufficiently inspired by the devil. For one thing, the karma cap isn't 666.

If you're in the mood to listen to some fine "Evolutionist" music while prostrating yourself before the Satanic icon that is your new Imac, I suggest Fuck the Creationists [ampcast.com] (sign-up required), by the lyrical terrorist himself, MC Hawking [ampcast.com].

jackasses

[evi1b0b]

The comments here only serve to show that computer elites are indeed godless and amoral. It is a shame that technology is taking over our society, as the morality of you sinners gets spread further and becomes more accepted. Indeed, its the computer industry's amorality that is causing the death of culture and good values in society. I weep when I see how people make sport fo something very serious.

From Google

[Wyatt Earp]

http://www.ironycentral.com/archives/theoexam.html

"1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an equal amount L. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame, how much does God now love Bob? "

Apple in league with the devil?

[JiffyPop]

Then why have they had so much trouble turning a profit. If they made a deal with the devil then MS should be crushed by now... Or is the Apple/Satan conglomerate held at bay by all of those god-faring christians that use MS?

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[lightspawn]

I don't get it - I thought the # of the beastie was 666 decimal. Was it octal all along?

Re:'Clearly' is a keyword to look for in propganda

[Hard_Code]

What you say??? Clearly you are a heathen and must rot in hell.

*cough*

[MrHectibus]

*glances at his freebsd shirt*

arg

[thopo]

qmail replaces sendmail as the standard MTA (sendmail was written by a prominent homosexual)

jesus christ, i didn't know! thank god i am using postfix.

Re:From the article...

[czardonic]

Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, . . .as well.

Don't forget Theohuxtabology.

FreeBSD in Texas

[seanadams.com]

It hasn't been a problem in California, but twice I was accused of being a devil worshipper while wearing my FreeBSD polo shirt in Texas.

Noo... you see, it's an "operating system". There's these "processes" that run in the "background" and the little demon is just a mascot, sort of like... fuck it... you got me, it's Satan.

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[Anonymous Coward]

If he undestood the command, he would have found it humane. It prevents executions!

Turing

[Transient0]

How about:

Works only on mechano-clockwork architectures as finite-state automata were invented by a prominent homosexual.

Re:hrm

[Bruj0]

You know you are a geek when you look at the source of every html page you came across :)

Hope he doesn't see this

[Anonymous Coward]

Found this over at the OpenBSD (Open to Bondage, Satanism and Domination) site:

http://www.openbsd.org/lyrics.html [openbsd.org]

Gave me a pretty good chuckle. Fortunately I think that server can stand to be slashdotted.

Re:Lickable?

[The trees]

OS X: The candy-coated OS with a gooey Unix center ©

Re:Lickable?

[Anonymous Coward]

I was thinking of a "clitoris".

Re:Apparently this is what happens...

[Anonymous Coward]

But I don't even believe in Jeebus.

(Yes, Homer Simpson said that.)

Re:From the article...

[Monkelectric]

Theoengineering -- "this is the house that (god's) love built!"

ok bad joke :)

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[deniable]

No, it's decimal, because 668 is the neighbour of the beast.

Re:From the article...

[ghack]

It is!

In Kings 7:23:

He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it.
weird!
the laws of thermodynamics are there too...

I wonder why darwinism and christianity can't coexist: they both make sense.

And tomorrow on his website...

[evil_one]

Yesterday I was attacked by the followers of an evil heathen website, dotslash.
What they did is called a DoS, and DoS stands for Denying Our Savour. The attack is called by the followers of dotslash the 'dotslash effect'
The name of the attackers, dotslash is clearly a reference to the beast, and how it attacks.
Fear not, I lit candles on top of my monitor, and now that the fire department has put the flames of hell out, and I have finished praying, all will be well.

Re:From the article...

[Anonymous Coward]

They haver TheoThermo:

http://members.truepath.com/objective/slot.html

The standard tired misunderstanding about the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics proving that Evolution is untrue.

The conspiracy is everywhere!

[fm6]

As soon as "Pudge" (notice the Satanic Camel [pudge.net] with its Marxist slogan!) discovered this web page, he summoned the dread and mysterious "Slashdot Effect" in order to censor Dr. Paley's insights!

But no matter! Dr. Paley totally debunks the mere concept of evolution with this clever T shirt [cafepress.com]!!! Nor can "Pudge" (re-arrange those letters and what do you get?) prevent Objective Ministries' [truepath.com] campaign against Secularism on the Internet!

Further proof of the world-wide conspiracy is the recent name change of the evil Marxist Patrice Lumumba University [themoscowtimes.com] to "Friendship University" -- an obvious tactice to upstage our holy work!

Re:It's a hoax

[FFFish]

Here's the Best Page [truepath.com] of the site. It's the Kid's Page. :-)

What should you do if you find an atheist?

Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they've got it all figured out...
...but then why are they always so sad?

If you find an atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM! Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

The TruePath host is gonna be some stiffed what with all the Slashdot, MeFi, Fark, ARS, and Memepool hits... Atheist geeks destroy Christianity!

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[Ooblek]

I am so tempted to mail this guy and let him know that Windows runs "services" and not daemons. This must mean Windows has the endorsement of the church.

Theoscience...

[dankjones]

It's a good thing we don't rely on religion for science. If we did the entire history of science would have gone like this:

Why is the sky blue?

Because God made it that way.

The end

The funniest part of the site....

[pressman]

The kids section. [truepath.com]

The section on what to do if you discover that there is a grumpy old atheist in the neighborhood is hilarious. Also the little cartoon about how dinosaurs and humankind used to walk the earth together because the earth is only 10,000 years old is beyond compare. Evolution as a tool of Satan! I love it! Almost as funny as good ole Elron's theory about intergalactic genocide 75,000,000 years ago being the cause of all suffering for humans.

At least he got something right.

[SrlKlr]

[Apple] is well known for its cult-like following. It isn't much of a stretch to say that it is a cult.

Well the article got one thing right... I just did not know MAC people were so weird because they were in with Satan...

Re:From Google

[Cryptnotic]

Since God is omnipotent and not bound by the laws of physics, that answer is L

Omnipotence doesn't affect anything. God loves rapidly moving humans less, because they die more often (e.g., plane crashes, car crashes, falling out of buildings, et cetera). How much less? Unfortunately, I can't tell you because I'm not a theophysicist.

Re:maybe a hoax, but ...

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought the second commandment was something about the right to bear arms?

Re:'Clearly' is a keyword to look for in propganda

[z4ce]

Hmm.. interesting technique there for spotting propoganda, but I normally just look to see if the file contains the word "propaganda" :)

Ian

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[dracken]

ADDENDUM V (4/23/2002): It has been brought to our attention that the FreeBSD (pronounced Free Beast) that MacOS X has in its core is a proponent of all things anti christ. Included free with FreeBSD is Kill, Apache, GhostView,(named by pagans) and commands like unzip, touch, finger, man mount, gasp, yes, eject, unmount, zip, sleep. Interestingly "CONTROL-G" (the sixth key from the left of the keyboard) does an abort. To write files a "VI" editor is included. All these are to ensnare the unsuspecting christian who could get tempted by typing "VIVIVI" all day long.

Re:FreeBSD in Texas

[totallygeek]

Twice I was accused of being a devil worshipper while wearing my FreeBSD polo shirt in Texas.

I had the same problem with my OpenBSD wireframe daemon-head shirt. My wife's parents are ultra-religious (see deluded) and were freaking out about the shirt. I finally told them that Satan is just an angel....like me.

AC/DC, Apple in league with the devil

[Ilan Volow]

No wonder I've had a strange urge to a rip an MP3 of "Highway to Hell" on my iMac.

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[vanyel]

This must mean Windows has the endorsement of the church.

All the more reason to dislike Windoze

pending apocalyse??

[beakburke]

so if we all "chmod 666" does that mean that jesux will get here faster :P

Re:spoof

[Anonymous Coward]

You go to hell and you die!

I'm an evangelical lawnmower! I am more articulate than you!

Buttons

[Joel Ironstone]

"...under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons"

Man I love those lickable buttons. Makes everything taste so good

Re:Nope...

[Shagg]

Why not just look up "zero" at the patent office?

Re:chmod 666 - the devil's command

[SlamMan]

Thats part of the beauty of the place. You've got tthefreedom to be jsut as ignorant as you care to be.

Should be a prize for this

[ynotds]

Just scanned the index for the first time since this was the top article and saw underneath:

( Read More... | 666 comments | Apple )

Definitely needed that laugh.

Having managed to stash away a few ancient Macs last week which I grabbed for archive retrieval purposes, I would have thought there was precious little evidence of evolution in the Mac lineage ... at best punctuated equilibrium, but sometimes verging on mass extinction.

But if there is a prize, I could imagine worse than a new desk lamp.

No! Evil!

[fm6]

Chmod 666 is evil. It places no restrictions on what "reading" or "writing" -- meaning all social norms are removed! This is how Satan infiltrates our daily life!