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Will Apple Disappoint on 30th Anniversary? 321

Posted by Zonk from the omg-so-old-so-old dept.
An anonymous reader writes "We've seen the media get over-excited about an Apple launch before, but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday. CNET is concerned at the lack of any news from Apple: 'You'd guess that Steve Jobs will at least have to walk out onto the lawn in Cupertino, light a few fireworks and make some whooping noises. It's that or risk an international incident.' Is Apple going to keep a low profile for their 30th?"
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Will Apple Disappoint on 30th Anniversary? More

Will Apple Disappoint on 30th Anniversary?

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  • Suicide Note? (Score:5, Funny)

    by eldavojohn ( 898314 ) * <eldavojohn@noSpAM.gmail.com> on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:00PM (#15026439) Journal
    We've seen the media get over-excited about an Apple launch before, but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday.
    I wonder what application he'll use for his suicide note [theonion.com]?

    I hope Chris Stevens and his wife don't have any anniversaries coming up. I guess she could always 'forget one' after taking out a lucrative life insurance policy on him.

  • If they announce a Bluetooth Mighty Mouse, [wikipedia.org] I'll be satisfied. Anyone know what's taking so long?

    • I think this story is a plant. To make people pay attention to the lack of announcements from apple but still pay attention to them the day they do announce something. Fan boys will love it. It's now garaunteed to be slashdotted when they do it. Forgive me if I don't trust reports of "nothing is happening" as being proper news.
    • Maybe they could announce 2 buttons on the MacBookPro trackpad? Why on earth is it still one button? Even the Mighty Mouse has more buttons.

      • Two buttons on laptops do not work (Score:5, Informative)

        by SuperKendall ( 25149 ) * on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:54PM (#15026944)
        I have used some of the best designed Windows laptops the planet has to offer. The second mouse button is NEVER is a good place or easy to use.

        On a laptop, where your fingers controlling the trackpad are right by the keyboard, chording keys to get to the second button is much, much better because you get the second button exactly when you want it.

        I've been using a Powerbook at home for years now and it's the only laptop I've ever used that I do not ever use an external mouse for. There simply is no need.

        I do use a three button Logitech mouse on my desktop, which I could not be without. But in the laptop a single button that you chord to activate other features is the way to go.
        • Ummmm... Actually, with the ThinkPad, the right click button is nicely placed. Because the TrackPoint is on the keyboard, it is simply a matter of moving the thumb to hit either mouse button. One doesn't have to move to a mouse at all. I have a cordless logitech on my laptop and I seldom use it because it is faster to use the TrackPoint design. I rely on the alternate click to much to be without it.... Sorry Apple, but its a necessity for me.
          • Strangeness... I'm reading this on a ThinkPad R40, and took the time to examine the mouse button placement, which I've never given much attention to before. I've used both left and right mouse buttons for the TrackPoint, as well as for the TrackPad. I'd never paid much attention before, but the set of buttons for the TrackPoint also has a middle button. Staring at it for a moment, I wondered what it did. Moving the mouse to a neutral area on the page so as not to inadvertently click something, I pushed
            • X is designed such that there is a highlight-and-middle-click copy-and-paste [jwz.org] buffer. Going way back to the days of Netscape 4 (and possibly before), Netscape and derived browsers on X (and now on Windows, with Mozilla and Firefox) will open a link in a new window (or, configurably, a new tab, with Netscape's modern descendants) if you middle-click it. With the middle-paste X behavior, middle-clicking on a page when you have a URL in the copy buffer (from highlighting, not from selecting "Copy") will "past
          • I own both a PowerBook and a ThinkPad (a fairly old R31 that I use as a backup machine). Think for a second about what you said:

            it is simply a matter of moving the thumb to hit either mouse button

            You have to move your thumb to click on the right button. With the PowerBook, I don't have to move my thumb. One stays on the button and the other is near the control key all of the time. When I am using the trackpad, my left thumb migrates to the control key in case I need to right click. Remember, on a re

      • I know it's a matter of taste and personal preference, but I don't want two buttons on my trackpad. When working on PC laptops, I always get slightly pissed off--usually not even pissed off enough to notice I'm pissed off, more like annoyed the way a cold sore on the inside of your lip tugs at your subconscious--that I always have to think before pressing the button to make sure it's a left- or a right-click, depending. That shit gets old real fast.

        A capacitive sensor under the button that could tell the OS
      • There are software programs for right-click, that let you tap the pad with 2 fingers, for example.
      • On the very first powerbooks, there were two buttons - one above the trackball and one below the trackball. In those days, the two buttons actually did the same thing. However, I could imagine having the second mouse button be above the trackpad which wouldn't be too bad.

        On the other hand, how often do you really use the right click? I hardly ever use it and I think it is a sign of poor UI design when you need to use it.

        I believe there are a few things in the Finder context menus that you can't do from the

  • Oh, cry me a river. (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Poromenos1 ( 830658 )
    Who cares :( We'll see when it happens.

  • I hope so (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    One tires after a few years of reading overwrought Apple-adulation.

  • Wait (Score:5, Insightful)

    by pHatidic ( 163975 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:01PM (#15026451)
    Is there even a story here? This is possibly the most content-free Slashdot post ever.

  • Didn't you know? (Score:5, Funny)

    by DebianDog ( 472284 ) <dan@dansla[ ].com ['gle' in gap]> on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:02PM (#15026460) Homepage
    Apple is going to go OUT OF BUSINESS!

    Said Steve Jobs, "It has been a good 30 year run and, unlike most companies, we want to close the doors while we are still profitable"

    • Not Quite... (Score:5, Funny)

      by waif69 ( 322360 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:08PM (#15026516) Journal
      Apple plans on selling their portable computers to Lenovo and the desktop computers to Dell, following the leads of IBM and Alienware. Apple will then take the money from those two deals and purchase apple music thereby bringing a long-time battle to a close. Of course this will result in Beatles music being available in iTunes for 9cents per song, to spite Yoko Ono.

      Don't shoot the messenger, the voices told me this, they really did.

    • I heard differently. (Score:5, Funny)

      by MAXOMENOS ( 9802 ) <mike&mikesmithfororegon,com> on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:33PM (#15026739) Homepage
      From what I've heard, Apple was going to shock the world by re-introducing their original Apple line of computers.

      That's right: the Apple \/, the latest successor to the wildly successful Apple ][ line, is on its way. This state-of-the-art machine features an amazing 8 MHz processor with a shocking 512 KB of RAM and built-in double floppy drives, to handle the computing needs of the 21st Century. This machine comes with an updated version of Apple DOS that gives you the power to create directories on your double-sided floppy disks (although I understand that NetBSD will also run on this machine). Order now and get a free 14" monochrome monitor and printer (your choice of dot-matrix or pinwheel).

      • You do realize that an Apple II remake would sell like hotcakes to the retro community, right? The Atari Flashback 2 [wikipedia.org] has been flying off the shelves (in part because it can be modded to take 2600 cartridges), and homebrewers have been sapping up the C64 sticks [getdigital.de] to add keyboards to them!

        You may think you're being funny, but there are a surprising number of people out there who wish you were right.
        • I'm sorry, but I think you vastly overestimate the size of this market. I can set off a pretty powerful bomb and not kill anybody in the "retro community". However, I will slaughter a lot of iPod users.

  • Leopard ? (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Remarked how few information about Leopard we've got since last WWDC ? :-)

  • Apple 30th Anniversary commerative one-day sale (Score:5, Funny)

    by Randall311 ( 866824 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:06PM (#15026491) Homepage
    I would settle for a one day sale of 30% in celebration of 30 years. Every Apple product 30% off, then I would buy a MacBook Pro. They at least need to do an April Fool's joke. Like "We're making OS X available to install legally on all generic x86 harware." ... Gotcha! April Fools!!
  • I know what they can do. They can all get together and buy a truckload of Toilet Paper and TP Microsoft HQ!

  • I kept a low profile on my 30th birthday. Just like I am going to for my impending 40th. Why do computer companies need to celebrate a decade when most people cringe and moan about being another decade older?

    • Well, humans tend to start celebrating again (assuming they still have friends and/or family around) when they hit milestones like 90, 95, 100, etc - because not many humans reach those milestones right now.

      Companies, unlike humans, rarely live to the age of 5. Reaching 30 is a real milestone for a company, whereas for a human (in the US, at least) it's pretty unremarkable.

  • WTF is wrong with these people? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Tibor the Hun ( 143056 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:11PM (#15026542)
    A suicide is not a light subject to be throwing it around like it's some joke...
    I'm as much of an Apple fanboy as the next guy (3 Macs at home, 2 ipods, 6 converts), but whose head is so far up Apple's ass that they joke about suicide?
    Apple has its schedule, and whether they celebrate their 30th anniversary is irrelevant to me. Yes, it would be great and hip, but they already have an outstanding product lineup.

    Also the poster for the iPhone looks pretty damn good.
    link [russellbeattie.com]

    So yeah, wake the fuck up whiners and clean the brown from your face.

  • Too bad it's not John C. Dvorak, instead. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by artifex2004 ( 766107 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:12PM (#15026547) Journal
    Look, there have been announcements earlier this year, there will be announcements in a couple more months. The Conroe Towers (ask about our move-in specials!) and Leopard may both be out in August, which is why we think they moved the next big conference back. Do they have to announce something on Saturay, just to give reporters something to do? Yah, I'd almost die at the thought of having to dig up an original story, instead of rehashing a press conference, too. So, you want them to announce something early, before they're close to ready? Apple doesn't want a rep as a vaporware provider. Apple needs to fix bugs in its current MacBookPro, among other things, in fact. So calm down. About the only thing ready now might be the budget MacBooks. Oh, and maybe a phone. :)

    Nobody asks Microsoft or Intel or even IBM what their anniversary products will be.

  • Apple, Microsoft and the thrill of it all. (Score:4, Insightful)

    by east coast ( 590680 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:12PM (#15026551)
    What is the big deal about this? Microsoft announces a new product and service and people are all like "who cares? this isn't even news" but Apple doesn't have plans to have the Stones playing at their 30th birthday party and everyone is ready to get all upset over it?

    I just can't understand it.

  • Apple will announce "Ipod Yocto" (Score:5, Funny)

    by digitaldc ( 879047 ) * on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:14PM (#15026559)
    "Ipod Yocto" - an Ipod so small that it fits into your inner ear.
    Once you buy it, you will instantly become the coolest technophile on the planet, but the downside is that noone will be able to notice that you own one.
    • . . . but the downside is that noone will be able to notice that you own one.

      My god, that's funny. Well done.
    • "Ipod Yocto" - an Ipod so small that it fits into your inner ear. Once you buy it, you will instantly become the coolest technophile on the planet, but the downside is that noone will be able to notice that you own one.

      No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. The next iPod will be the iPod Inviso. If you missed the announcement, you can see it here [section3.net].

      Here are some of the features:

      • Holds 8 million songs
      • Can accomodate every photograph ever taken
      • Pong
      • Floats on air
  • I read this [blogspot.com] earlier this month and thought it could have some merrit, but probably not.

    After all, we are talking Apple rumors AND it is April Fools day.

    Other Apple-April Fools links:

    iGame [engadget.com] - yeah, right.
    New video iPod [thinksecret.com] - possible?
    iNote [theappleblog.com] - nice pics ;)
    Media Center [theappleblog.com] - err... nevermind.

    Well if nothing else, maybe we get some fun new photoshopped Apple toys to dream about.

  • Don't sue me but I know what will be announced... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:17PM (#15026588)
    A range of leather cases for the iPod range. Nothing new I hear you cry? This time they come with a limited edition embossed logo.

    Remember, you heard it here first!

  • Alternative to Fireworks (Score:5, Funny)

    by gluteus ( 307087 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:20PM (#15026610)
    Steve should bring out a wheelbarrow of newspaper and magazine articles about "beleaguered Apple" or "Apple going out of business" and light them up in the parking lot. And maybe send a get well card to Michael Dell.

  • Please, Steve, keep quiet! (Score:3, Funny)

    by sootman ( 158191 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:23PM (#15026656) Homepage Journal
    1 less CNet writer = the world is a better place.

  • Gettin' old (Score:5, Funny)

    by The Famous Brett Wat ( 12688 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:23PM (#15026659) Homepage Journal
    You'd guess that Steve Jobs will at least have to walk out onto the lawn in Cupertino, light a few fireworks and make some whooping noises.

    Nah. He'll walk out onto the lawn and yell at some kids to get off it.

    Disclosure: I'm thirtysomething.

    • Actually, like any prettly little thing about to turn 30, Apple will start lying about its age. This will be the second of many 29th birthdays...

  • 3 years and counting (Score:2, Insightful)

    by ktappe ( 747125 )

    Rumors of the iPhone started in Jan. 2003. I know, I bought into them and waited to get a cell phone that year, finally giving up in October and getting something else. So as much as I'd like the iPhone to be announced this Saturday, I'm definitely not holding my breath.

    12" and 17" MacBooks are definitely due, so that's where I'd put my money if I were betting.

    But Saturday would be a bizarre day of the week for Apple to do any product introduction, as they wouldn't get enough press coverage. Apple an

  • Steve Jobs will buy France for the 30th (Score:3, Funny)

    by swschrad ( 312009 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:25PM (#15026671) Homepage Journal
    and establish a Cabinet-level office of "le Software" to celebrate victory.

    viva le Difference.
  • I don't think Apple will let this anniversary go by without something or some event.

    I believe they will introduce either:
    1) Something nifty
    2) A limited edition of something

    My vote would be for a colored-shell iMac... Or maybe colored, translucent iPods in the original six Apple colors...

  • How do you want to be disappointed today? (Score:5, Funny)

    by pergamon ( 4359 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:31PM (#15026724) Homepage
    This is indeed one area where Apple lags behind Microsoft. Microsoft has the ability to not just disappoint on each and every anniversary of their founding, but most of the days in between as well.

  • How thoughtful of them (Score:5, Funny)

    by Guppy06 ( 410832 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:36PM (#15026769)
    "but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday."

    CNET? Heck, I'll chip in and buy the Kool-Aid!

  • here's the scoop (Score:5, Funny)

    by Hellasboy ( 120979 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:38PM (#15026778)
    They've done small. Enough of that. Now they're gonna go BIG [google.com]. Everyone will want one of these. ;)
  • Of course Apple is going to make an announcement. And of course Apple's stocks are going to go up 10 points on saturday, because 'investors' are really gamblers. If they were smart gamblers, they would buy Apple's stocks *before* saturday.

  • This is what will happen... (Score:5, Funny)

    by tktk ( 540564 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:45PM (#15026851)
    Steve Jobs will send out a signal, all the white iPod earbuds will activate, crawl into the listeners ears and take over their mind. Steve's getting old and his natural RDF isn't cutting it anymore.

    That's why iPod earbuds are so uncomfortable. Even nanomachines in the white earbuds take up space. And you thought yesterday's iPod update was for volume control. It was really for control of volumes of people!

  • Yeah, all that is going to happen is that there will be the new larger capability ipods, that may or may not have a wide screen *not like what people think* and a new iBook with a 1.5 core solo, and up to a 1.83 core duo with a 13.3 inch wide screen. it will weigh a little over 5 lbs, have the new apple power connector, but will have intel based video. What the surprise will be is that it will support two monitors, but only with some hacking like the current ibooks. Also expect a new style case, that some w
  • I remember the ideas Apple pantented (or something like that) about a wide-screen full-screen iPod type device with touch screen interface. Although I'm a bit wary about if they would make it a touch screen for fingers. I'd like to see a "PowerPod" so to speak, like the iPod, but more fully featured (like the iBoos vs. PowerBook comparison). Perhaps a PDA of sorts....
  • Actor Steven Baldwin stated in a press release this morning that he plans to move to France if Apple fails to deliver on the 1st.

  • Did Jobs even shoot fireworks on HIS 30? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by The_REAL_DZA ( 731082 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @12:59PM (#15027007)
    The whole point of a company making a "big announcement" is to get the media buzz that accompanies such theatrics. Apple's got it without taking any risk and without expending any effort; I say it'd be smarter (and more "mysterious", thereby generating even MORE buzz) to just let it pass quietly.


    And then dazzle us the NEXT week (maybe a new iPod so small you need an electron microscope to see it...)

  • When do they not dissapoint? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by TheSkepticalOptimist ( 898384 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @01:00PM (#15027017)
    No honestly, I think people's expectations for what Apple will do is unfounded.

    First, I can't see Apple coming out with a dramatically new iPod concept only 6 months after the last iPod generation. Apple can't keep releasing new iPods on quick cycles, it will affect consumer confidence (more like, consumers will stop buying iPods because they go obsolete in 6 months). Perhaps Apple was keeping something up their sleeves with iPod for the 30th, but I think it will backfire rather then impress consumers. I was considering the new 5th gen iPod to replace my 3rd gen, then I heard rumours about a newer video iPod. I basically won't be buying any iPod until Apple reveals their cards, as is the opinion of many people I know in the market for a new player.

    I also don't expect any great innovations from their computer lines. G5 is still a solid desktop workstation, and I don't see Apple wanting to rush G5's away for Intel's Duo Core. Largely, Intel's Duo Core can't compete with a quad G5 system, and until I see Intel looking to make dual Duo Core chipsets, I don't see Apple coming out with a new desktop system to replace the G5. New iBook's, MacBooks's, Mac Mini's or iMacs will be underwhelming as a 30th Anniversary release as they will only be configuration tweaks, not all out redesigns. I don't think Apple will make the mistake of another Anniversary edition Mac. We can only handle 1 overpriced dud a decade, and Apple already came out with the G4 cube this past decade.

    Whats left? A cellphone or tablet device? These have been rumored for years, I don't see why Apple would have left them as 30th anniversary surprises. Apple can't compete in the cell phone market, honestly. This market changes frequently (like monthly), while Apple doesn't. Apple can't release one style of cellphone to fit all consumers. Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, Sony all make a slew of different models because consumers of cellphones are fickle. An Apple based cellphone will only appeal to a small market segment and thus could not dominate the way iPod did. Apple helped to define the digital music player market, the cell phone market is already well established and has many leaders. Apple would be competing against equals (which they seldom have don't well with). Unless Apple dominates a market like with the iPod, Apple typically struggles (like with 30 years of computers).

    A tablet device will also be unexpected and underwhelming. Who would buy a tablet device? Students. But any tablet device from Apple will be too expensive for most students to afford, and it will be a novelty item for many non-students.

    What Apple SHOULD release for their 30th anniversary is a TV set-top device that connects Mac's or even PC's to your home theater system. This will launch Apple into the home theater market which is largely undefined. Something with Apple's panache with multimedia handling in a box that can be used as a PVR and full digital media support over networks. Apple could do with Home Theater what they did for iPod, take a bunch of ideas that other companies are poorly implementing and consolidate them into one superior device. But then, Steve Jobs says that HTPC's are a novelty and fad that will wain quickly. It's not surprising for Steve Jobs to renege on his comments, but I doubt Apple has any big plans for Home Theater consumer electronics. They don't even support 5.1 surround in most of their computers and Apple's one foray into newtworked multimedia ( AirTunes ) was a disaster in my opinion.

    Apple blew their wad too early this year with new "video" iPods, iTunes services and introducing the Macintels. I would have left introducing the Macintels until the 30th anniversary to give people something to talk about.

    While it is impossible to predict what Apple will actually do, I won't get my hopes up for too much. By anticipating the least, if Apple does something truly wonderful, then it will be surprising and exciting. But getting your hopes up too much will just leave you disappointed when Apple announces some new word processing applications, revision to an iPod, or a larger 17" MacBook, which is all I am banking on.

  • Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • Because the 20th Anniversay was such a big success (Score:3)

    by ahg ( 134088 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @01:20PM (#15027205)
    Maybe Apple and Steve are not making a splashy celebration this time around because a decade ago, Apple's "big idea" of a 20th anniversay Mac was an utter failure. The machine was nice - sleek design, TV/FM radio, S-video inputs, Bose sound, and was limited to the production of 12,000 machines with a cost of $10,000 a pop that was delivered to and installed at your home by an Apple authorized rep. (If I recall correctly... I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm not)

    Eventually after only selling a couple thoasand at that cost... they were sold at the "bargain basement" price of 2 grand.

    Some sites for more info:
    Wikipedia [wikipedia.org]
    Apple-History [apple-history.com]
    Fan club web site [axon.net]
    • yeah, but that was all done after Steve Jobs was fired and before he returned. he had no hand in that machine.
      as silly as the machine was, it was a neat machine and did end up as a prop in TV/movies long after it was incredibly outdated technology.

      the way i heard the story was that they were initially intended as a special machine for dealers and promotion almost as functional artwork. when they did not sell out they were offered to the general public. i may be wrong, but i think it was intended to be a spe

  • Uhh... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Khuffie ( 818093 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @01:40PM (#15027393) Homepage
    didn't cnet recently run an article about how the press always overhype apple launch announcements before they happen, and then get disappointed when nothing major is announced?

  • The Reality Distortion Field (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Infernal Device ( 865066 ) on Thursday March 30, 2006 @02:00PM (#15027596)
    It's Apple's 30th Anniversary, they haven't announced anything significant, and yet ...

    You are all discussing Apple and it's products.

    I'd say the RDF is working quite well.

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