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Apple Deals with Devil, Communists

Posted by pudge on Mon Apr 22, 2002 08:05 PM
from the hail-satan dept.
rschroeder writes "I keep thinking that this article can't be real, but it looks like it. Among the juicier bits: 'The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (Mac OS X) is called... Darwin! That's right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an 'Open Source' license, which is just another name for Communism.'" Yes, of course. And I am still waiting for Jesux to be released.
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  • by LordSah (185088) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:09PM (#3391559)
    The bit at the bottom about the satanic command 'chmod 666' is particularly amusing.

    It makes you wonder if this guy did any reading about anything tech related at all, or if he just got all his info from his wacko friends.
    • > Lets look for a moment at Apple Computers.
      > Founded by long haired hippies, this company has
      > consistently supported 60's counter-cultural
      > "values".

      Dear God, that sounds like Gerald Holmes [freeyellow.com]! Maybe he finally did an update to his site!

      > shocked Christians who have unwittingly become Mac owners

      Sounds like Apple finally has a worthy successor to their "Think Different" campaign.
    • by lightspawn (155347) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:49PM (#3391839) Homepage
      I don't get it - I thought the # of the beastie was 666 decimal. Was it octal all along?
    • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 22 2002, @09:07PM (#3391957)
      If he undestood the command, he would have found it humane. It prevents executions!
    • by dracken (453199) on Monday April 22 2002, @11:49PM (#3392600) Homepage
      ADDENDUM V (4/23/2002): It has been brought to our attention that the FreeBSD (pronounced Free Beast) that MacOS X has in its core is a proponent of all things anti christ. Included free with FreeBSD is Kill, Apache, GhostView,(named by pagans) and commands like unzip, touch, finger, man mount, gasp, yes, eject, unmount, zip, sleep. Interestingly "CONTROL-G" (the sixth key from the left of the keyboard) does an abort. To write files a "VI" editor is included. All these are to ensnare the unsuspecting christian who could get tempted by typing "VIVIVI" all day long.
  • by ocie (6659) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:10PM (#3391564) Homepage
    Dr. Richard Paley is a teacher of Divinity and Theobiology at Fellowship University

    Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, Theochemistry, Theophysics and Theoengineering as well.

    • Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, Theochemistry, Theophysics and Theoengineering as well.

      I remeber seeing a "Theological Engineering" paper once. It had such wonderful questions as: If 30ml of red wine is placed in the mouth of a devout catholic, and transubstantiation takes 3s, how many joules of energy are produced?

      Jedidiah

      • From Google (Score:5, Funny)

        by Wyatt Earp (1029) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:42PM (#3391797)
        http://www.ironycentral.com/archives/theoexam.html

        "1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an equal amount L. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame, how much does God now love Bob? "
          • by Cryptnotic (154382) on Monday April 22 2002, @10:49PM (#3392387) Homepage


            Since God is omnipotent and not bound by the laws of physics, that answer is L



            Omnipotence doesn't affect anything. God loves rapidly moving humans less, because they die more often (e.g., plane crashes, car crashes, falling out of buildings, et cetera). How much less? Unfortunately, I can't tell you because I'm not a theophysicist.

    • Re:Theomathematics (Score:3, Interesting)

      by dissonant7 (572834)
      Actually, "theomathematics" have been around in numerous religions for millenia, though it's usually called arithmosophy.
    • In Theomathematics, pi is defined to be 3.0.
          • by GMontag451 (230904) on Tuesday April 23 2002, @03:13AM (#3393257) Homepage
            Because no one has ever demonstrated one instance of macroevolution,

            Observed Instances Of Speciation [talkorigins.org]
            Five Major Misconceptions about Evolution [talkorigins.org]
            29 Evidences For Macroevolution [talkorigins.org]

            Maybe you should do a little research before you make a greatly incorrect factual statement like that.

            • by Gerv (15179) <gerv AT gerv DOT net> on Tuesday April 23 2002, @05:10AM (#3393497) Homepage
              "Observed Instances of Speciation" indicates examples of microevolution only.

              "Five Major Misconceptions..." just points to "Observed Instances of Speciation".

              "29 Evidences for Macroevolution" says, at the beginning: "Whether microevolutionary theories are sufficient to account for macroevolutionary adaptations is a question that is left open." In other words, they are theorising about macroevolution without a scientific mechanistic basis to support the theories.

              It also cops out by saying "In evolutionary theory it is taken as axiomatic that an original self-replicating life form existed in the distant past, regardless of its origin." But that's the hard bit - if you can't explain the first self-replicating life form, then the argument that life appeared from nothing (as opposed to being created) doesn't hold water.

              Gerv
    • by czardonic (526710) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:59PM (#3391913) Homepage
      Makes me wonder if they have Theomathematics, . . .as well.

      Don't forget Theohuxtabology.
    • by dankjones (192476) on Monday April 22 2002, @10:05PM (#3392215) Homepage
      It's a good thing we don't rely on religion for science. If we did the entire history of science would have gone like this:

      Why is the sky blue?

      Because God made it that way.

      The end
  • For the /.-ed (Score:5, Informative)

    by Lothar+0 (444996) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:11PM (#3391574) Homepage
    Here's a Google cache [216.239.37.100] of the article.
  • by Navius Eurisko (322438) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:12PM (#3391586)
    when trolls find Jesus. :)
  • by MrP- (45616) <rob.elitemrp@net> on Monday April 22 2002, @08:13PM (#3391590) Homepage
    The Devil called on all of us to take down this site before the truth is revealed... Satan has successfully slashdotted the site!
  • by Crag (18776) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:13PM (#3391591)
    Open Source and Free Software are heavily based in the ideals of anarchism and communism, and many of us are athiest or agnostic.

    I don't have a problem with this, but _they_ do. This isn't really that funny. It's a clash between the age of pisces and the age of aquarius, much like a similiar clash 2000 years ago, and one 2000 years before that...

    Don't take them too seriously, but don't discard them as complete nuts, either. These people are holding views which were sacred to a much wider community in the past. 2000 years from now (if anyone's still around), this will happen again, and _our_ views will be the silly ones.
      • Blockquoth the poster:

        Its like saying any time you give something away for free, you are exercising communism. It only becomes communism when you are forced to give stuff away for free.

        Indeed, people like the author most likely would get quite agitated if you suggested that their charity work was actually "communistic". Sometimes, even in a free capitalist society, it's good to give to the community.
      • by afxgrin (208686) <nboli AT acanac DOT net> on Monday April 22 2002, @11:42PM (#3392571)
        Well, it all depends what flavour of communism(probably Marxism) you're thinking.

        If you take the complete social-libertarian perspective (Anarchism), you would be having contributions to a community that benefit everyone as a whole. GPL'd software is not viable in a capitalist market because you're selling software that gives you no edge over someone else who's selling the same thing. If money was to be made on the software alone, the market would get flooded with the GPL'd software and the price would bottom out to the lowest cost of distribution.

        Companies that make money by providing Free Software are not capitalizing on the software itself, but the 'value-added' services, manuals, and most likely proprietary software tossed in. If they were generating huge income from the sole sale of software, we'd see Microsoft join the Free Software movement.

        Marxism, would have us hand over our code for the 'greater good of the people' - as history has taught us, a totalitarian regime would ensure this. Anarchism, it's an individual choice. But anarchism works on the ideals that we can live better by working together, but working together because you want to. Not because someone in a position of authority has forced you to.

        For more info on Anarchism:
        www.infoshop.org/faq/index.html [infoshop.org]
        To determine your political standing:
        www.politicalcompass.org [politicalcompass.org]
  • A related site (Score:4, Interesting)

    by interiot (50685) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:13PM (#3391592) Homepage
    Also at the same site...

    Objective Landover Baptist Shutdown [truepath.com] aims to get religious parody (?) site Landover Baptist [landoverbaptist.org] shut down, removed from the internet, basically because they disagree with their message... very little to no legal ground to stand on. They're just trying to use tactics like contacting the hosting ISP and talking to WIPO to reach their goals. They apparently don't even pretend to grasp the first amendment.

  • by bjtuna (70129) <brian@inter c a r v e . net> on Monday April 22 2002, @08:13PM (#3391593) Homepage
    The site members.truepath.com is running Apache/1.3.22 (Unix) mod_perl/1.26 PHP/4.0.6 on Linux.

    That is all.
  • Funny (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Calle Ballz (238584) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:13PM (#3391596) Homepage
    Visit the Landover Baptist Church [landoverbaptist.org] webpage for more fun, logical christian humor.
  • spoof (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 22 2002, @08:19PM (#3391632)

    Guys, this is a spoof. There is no "Fellowship University" do a google search on it for cryin' out loud!

    I'm a evangelical pastor. I think Jesus is the only way, I'm also a geek who thinks that the darwin kernel is a wonderful thing. Even spoofs like this make me nervous, because people actually think that evangelicals are taught to think like this (well, they are if they listen to christian radio, I tell my congregation to watch the simpsons instead...).

    It has one valid point though....chmod 666 can be an evil command, depending on the file your sicking it on! :-)

  • Apple/Devil (Score:5, Informative)

    by NickRob (575331) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:20PM (#3391642)
    Actually, Apple did have a well-publicized dealing with the Church of Satan. They had a "Made with Macintosh" logo on their homepage, and they had a b/w pic of their founder with "Think DIfferent" next to him. The kicker? They were (obviously) against those things. They demanded the removal of such things. The CoSatan, being the dissenters they are, naturally didn't remove them.
  • Church of Satan (Score:4, Informative)

    by dissonant7 (572834) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:20PM (#3391648)
    Actually, the Church of Satan, so far as I know, actually *does* (or at least used to) run on Apples. They even used to proudly advertise the fact on their web site with a parody of Apple's "Think Different" campaign featuring Anton LaVey (the Church's founder).
  • by Bonker (243350) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:22PM (#3391656)
    This OS -- and its Darwin offspring -- extensively use what are called "daemons" (which is how Pagans write "demon" -- they are notoriously poor spellers: magick, vampyre, etc.) which is a program that hides in the background, doing things without the user's notice. If you are using a new Macintosh running OS X then you probably have these "daemons" on your computer, hardly something a good Christian would want! This clearly illustrates that not only is Macintosh based on Darwinism, but Darwinism is based on Satanism.

    Lordy, Lordy, this is so thick that you need a shovel to get rid of that high holy smell.

    When looking at *any* kind of text that may or may not be slanted towards or away from any given viewpoint, please keep a look out for the world 'Clearly'. It usually indicates that the author is expecting the reader to make a logic jump that might otherwise not be warranted.

    Examples:

    Some people who live in capitalist societies are homeless and hungry, therefore we can CLEARLY determine that capitalism is responsible for homelessness and hunger.

    Some people who live in socialist societies are oppressed and have no rights. Therefore we can CLEARLY determine that socialism is equivalent to a dearth of human rights.


    Religous types are especially bad about this. I am a Christian... a very liberal Christian... but for a long time I lost my faith because of a poorly produced anti-evolution video I was forced to watch in high school (in Texas). Typical contents of the video can be summarized as follows.

    Because of [poorly documented and inadequately evidence] we can CLEARLY see that this discovery is a sham designed to discredit the world of our Lord...

    'Clearly' gives away propoganda 9 out of 10 times.
  • hrm (Score:5, Funny)

    by interiot (50685) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:22PM (#3391657) Homepage
    view source, see:
    • <META name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">
  • Lickable? (Score:5, Funny)

    by sweatyboatman (457800) <sweatyboatman.hotmail@com> on Monday April 22 2002, @08:23PM (#3391670) Homepage Journal
    They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

    I've been licking the buttons on my Dell laptop, and that's okay, but have you tasted the new IMac? Apple has again leaped way ahead in terms of user interface.

    Lickable Buttons. Hmmm... I wonder if he's thinking about those candies you used to get at street-fairs and the like which were just little dots on a roll of paper. Or perhaps those weren't really candies and this is all one long, crazy trip...

    Sweat
  • by Space Coyote (413320) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:25PM (#3391687) Homepage
    ... Since it's been on every other website I regularly surf, and seems to fit the classic definition of a meme.

    There are discussions about this site on MetaFilter, a MacSlash article [macslash.com], a very funny Fark thread [fark.com], as well as mentions on Ars and Memepool.

    Seems the tech subset of the Internet has been well and truly trolled, if indeed this is a hoax, which I am inclined to believe, given that all of the banner ads on the site seem to lead to the same domain.

  • It's a hoax (Score:5, Informative)

    by squiggleslash (241428) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:27PM (#3391703) Homepage Journal
    Go to the "updates" link at the top. Scroll down until you see a picture of a purple teddybear. Read the accompanying "story". Now scroll up until you see a multicoloured... "rainbow"?... teddybear. Read story.

    Laugh. There are probably more examples, I didn't have time to check.

    It's a hoax, a very clever one, but a hoax nonetheless.

    As a Brit in America, I suspect my non-American friends are reading this entire thread bemused. "Well, of course it's an effing hoax!" they're exclaiming. "It's too over the top! You Americans are {...}"

    Response: Nope. There really are people like that around here, especially in the South and the mid-West. Even many "moderate" Christians see concepts like evolution as major threats to their beliefs and are actively trying to remove it from public education (sometimes successfully.) And moderate Christians do sometimes seem to form the minority of Christians in this God-forsaken country...

    • Re:It's a hoax (Score:5, Interesting)

      by superyooser (100462) on Tuesday April 23 2002, @04:54AM (#3393469) Homepage Journal
      Response: Nope. There really are people like that around here, especially in the South and the mid-West.

      I've been a conservative Christian in the South (churches on every street corner) all my life, and I don't know any Christians who think like that. To be sure, there are crackpots in every niche of humanity, though.

      This web site is embarrassing whether it's a hoax or not, because it fits with one of the stereotypes that non-believers have of Christians. The media loves to report quotes, dutifully taken out of context, that have been spouted by some knee-jerk, shoot-from-the-hip, camera-happy televangelist.

      What if the media consistently (or even once) projected Dr. "Death" Kevorkian as a typical doctor in the medical community, or v1urU$ h4X0r$ as typical IT professionals? You'd never see that, because they are not widely respected among their peers. (This is why "peer review" is so important in the scientific community; it helps to weed out crackpots.)

      But for believers in "Jeebus" -- they're fair game for mockery and wild distortions (actually, the Simpsons is pretty fair in this respect). Unfortunately, you'll never see prominent articles in the mainstream/secular news media quoting truly great pastors and evangelists who are widely respected in the Christian community, such as Ravi Zacharias [gospelcom.net], Adrian Rogers [lwf.org], Charles Stanley [intouch.org], James Dobson [family.org], and Ken Ham [answersingenesis.org].

  • by trailerparkcassanova (469342) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:29PM (#3391716)
    Apparently the Darwin OS is not the original creation of Apple Computers but is instead based off of an older, obsolete OS called "BSD Unix".

    Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!
  • While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. [sic]

    That reminds me, how come I haven't seen any instructions from Satan, our lord and master, on slashdot recently?

    Like so many other computer elites, I depend on Slashdot to keep me up-to-date on the will of the Great Deciever - stuff for nerds, stuff that matters, SATAN! SATAN! SATAN! In fact, I'd like to see less social commentary / comedy on slashdot, more tekspiel and a lot more devil worshipping. Toward this end, I propose that we boycott Slashdot this Walpurgisnacht, and only post responses that relate to our obsequious obedience to the Prince of Darkness.

    Also, the moderation system is insufficiently inspired by the devil. For one thing, the karma cap isn't 666.

    If you're in the mood to listen to some fine "Evolutionist" music while prostrating yourself before the Satanic icon that is your new Imac, I suggest Fuck the Creationists [ampcast.com] (sign-up required), by the lyrical terrorist himself, MC Hawking [ampcast.com].

  • Bizarre (Score:5, Informative)

    by interiot (50685) on Monday April 22 2002, @08:41PM (#3391794) Homepage
    Kyle Goldman's old site [geocities.com]
    Kyle Goldman's new site [geocities.com]

    These two sites are obviously intentionally weird, and are heavily linked to the truepath site as well as the LandoverBaptist site. Some have suggested that he's the creator of all these parodies. There's also a possible googlebombing campaign going on ("baptist" returns the Landover Baptist site in third place) similar to the Co$'s campaign, where many seemingly unrelated but heavily interconnected sites are created.

  • by seanadams.com (463190) on Monday April 22 2002, @09:03PM (#3391936) Homepage

    It hasn't been a problem in California, but twice I was accused of being a devil worshipper while wearing my FreeBSD polo shirt in Texas.

    Noo... you see, it's an "operating system". There's these "processes" that run in the "background" and the little demon is just a mascot, sort of like... fuck it... you got me, it's Satan.
  • by Animats (122034) on Monday April 22 2002, @11:16PM (#3392489) Homepage
    Chickenhead Productions [chickenhead.com] put in a lot of work on this. They also have WhiteHouse.org [whitehouse.org] and several other parody sites. And there's real depth at each site.

    I'm impressed.

    They have some cool merchandise, too.

  • by Ilan Volow (539597) on Tuesday April 23 2002, @01:33AM (#3393006) Homepage
    No wonder I've had a strange urge to a rip an MP3 of "Highway to Hell" on my iMac.
  • An Evil Parody (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Arandir (19206) on Tuesday April 23 2002, @01:58AM (#3393091) Homepage Journal
    This is an evil parody. This is not real. I can't believe so many of you fell for it.

    Christians do not believe this tripe. Not even the fundamentalists or evangelicals. If all you know about christianity is what Hollywood and the MPAA tell you, then this guy sound genuine, but it most certainly is not. Distrust all stereotypes. A christian would be as likely to spout this blather as a geek would wear a pocket protector and taped glasses.

    The members.truepath.com website is hoax. A very elaborate hoax to be sure, but still a hoax. Just go to the members' bios page if you don't believe me.

    The proof of this hoax is simple: there is no theology anwhere. There's a lot of shouting about darwinism, communism and anti-christian terrorists, but I can't find any scriptural references anwhere in their arguments. Not one bible thump in evidence.

    I am a christian. I was raised in a christian household. I grew up in the California version of the bible-belt. But I've never met anyone who even remotely resembles these turkeys. Not even the nutbags on the Patriot Network or JT Chick come close.
    • Re:Fucking HELL!!! (Score:3, Insightful)

      by iCharles (242580)
      No No No No No!

      The pastor dude is an idiot--'Nuff said. Anyone who can't see past a word or a name, and sees "communism" and "godlessness" behind every corner probably doesn't know his a** from his elbow. It saddens me to think of how many people are so closed- and literally-minded.

      That said, I feel strongly that reprisals of the sort that are described here should not be tolerated. I worry that if a DoS is tolerated in this instance, replicating it will be regarded as socially acceptable. So, someone else will write a DoS attack, or a worm, or whatever.

      And, whoever writes it will feel he will be held up by his peers here on \. because, after all, they speak about how bad the target of the day (today the document in question, in another Microsoft, in another--who knows?!?).

      Win people with your minds and your ideas, not random acts of terrorism. IF they listen, then you truelly have one. If they don't, then you move on.

    • Yes, the fine community at Macslash.com debunked this hoax earlier today - This was one of the greatest attempts at trolldom I have ever witnessed toward the Mac community (we're such an easy target too).
      • by DennyK (308810) on Monday April 22 2002, @11:13PM (#3392477)
        Actually, www.truepath.com is a free Christian web hosting service...so it's quite possible that this particular member is having some fun... ;)

        Of course, the author does have several other articles up there. Like the Apple one, it's hard to tell whether he is being humorous or serious in them. Half his writings sound like tongue-in-cheek exaggerated Christian zealotry, and half sound like somewhat serious arguments (though these are usually backed up only by "Because the Bible tells us so...").

        Whether intentionally or unintentionally, his stuff is still pretty funny. I hope he truly isn't as paranoid about "Evolutionists" as it seems from his writing, though... I have the utmost respect for any and all belief systems, but it's pretty sad to go through life thinking that everyone who believes differently than you do is out to get you and corrupt your soul... :-/

        DennyK
            • Wrong.... (Score:4, Informative)

              by Wntrmute (18056) on Tuesday April 23 2002, @11:03AM (#3395160)
              Wrong, wrong, wrong.... I am *so* tired of hearing this.

              You see, it's a THEORY, in the same vain that creationism is a theory.

              Creationism is *not* a theory. It is not testable. It is not falsifiable. It is not predictive. There is no such thing as a "Scientific Theory of Creationism." Ask any long-time poster to talk.origins. They've been asking for one for years, and noone's ever offered one up that meets the actual criteria of being a theory.

              Secondly, evolution is both a fact and a theory. [talkorigins.org]

              Sorry if I'm sounding harsh, but I see these same misconceptions all the time, and they drive me crazy sometimes.